Telling Wife HAD NO EFFECT ON ANYTHING!!!

[stillafool]

You might want to check into a little company called Trojan.

 

Yes, what happened to birth control, do they still make it?????

[donnamaybe]

Money is not the same as being a full time parent.

 

And how odd that when I brought up how my ex doesn't provide proper monetary support for my son, she accused me of having an entitlement complex and "begging men for money."

 

Now why in the world would she paint such a positive picture of this relationship where this MM is f'ing around on his wife AND keeping this OW dangling - his second (at least) no less - just because he gives her money for all his illegitimate children, but paint such a negative picture of a situation where a man - and in my case I use that term loosely - should be expected to pay a mere $169 a month in support for a very tall, well built 15 year old boy?

 

You know, A, your posts would have more impact if you were in the slightest bit consistent. I mean, what really ARE your standards? They seem to switch with the wind.

 

As for your analogy of polygamy, where many women share one man, would you have the same view point if many men were sharing one woman? The woman was the high priestess of her domain and had a half dozen men at her beck and call? I'm betting no one would be viewing that as all "sunshine and roses."

[stillafool]

See even if he remained married strictly for financial reasons, that doesn't mean he has to physically live in a house with her, not you... do you see this?

 

The Real marriage he has is with his Wife. The Affair he has with you.

 

This is a good point NC2. If this affair is out in the open and his wife knows about it but decides not to divorce him, why doesn't he come over and live with you and your kids? What is stopping him?

[stillafool]

I

She is now too making a choice to stay in a marriage she knows is not all her own and that he has another life with other children...

No, her marriage is definitely her own and her husbands. You do not share in that. You did not take vows with them. Theirs is a marriage, yours is an affair.

 

He also has a family he loves with his wife. They are obviously his first priority even though they are grown. If they weren't, he would be with you and your 5 children who are of ages where they need a full time dad.

[Ariadne]

And how odd that when I brought up how my ex doesn't provide proper monetary support for my son, she accused me of having an entitlement complex and "begging men for money."

 

Now why in the world would she paint such a positive picture of this relationship where this MM is f'ing around on his wife AND keeping this OW dangling - his second (at least) no less - just because he gives her money for all his illegitimate children, but paint such a negative picture of a situation where a man - and in my case I use that term loosely - should be expected to pay a mere $169 a month in support for a very tall, well built 15 year old boy?

 

You know, A, your posts would have more impact if you were in the slightest bit consistent. I mean, what really ARE your standards? They seem to switch with the wind.

 

As for your analogy of polygamy, where many women share one man, would you have the same view point if many men were sharing one woman? The woman was the high priestess of her domain and had a half dozen men at her beck and call? I'm betting no one would be viewing that as all "sunshine and roses."

 

Because you are no longer married to that man.

 

You were at some point his wife, you had a son together, and then you broke up with him and took his son away thousands of miles.

 

And yet, the guy is struggling with money, and you deny him seeing his son unless he pays.

 

(You can't send him no matter what)

 

About the poligamy in reverse.. I seriously doubt any woman would find that arrangement appealing.

[georgia girl]

LOL! Like most women would find polygamy appealing? JMHO, but you have got to be kidding me!

 

I'm a one-on-one kind of girl. It's much simpler that way. Too much you have to do to keep a relationship healthy to juggle another party. Do you

[Ariadne]

LOL! Like most women would find polygamy appealing? JMHO, but you have got to be kidding me!

 

I'm a one-on-one kind of girl. It's much simpler that way. Too much you have to do to keep a relationship healthy to juggle another party. Do you

 

(She was suggesting a poligamy arrangement with one woman many men).

[donnamaybe]

Because you are no longer married to that man.

 

You were at some point his wife, you had a son together, and then you broke up with him and took his son away thousands of miles.

 

And yet, the guy is struggling with money, and you deny him seeing his son unless he pays.

 

(You can't send him no matter what)

 

About the poligamy in reverse.. I seriously doubt any woman would find that arrangement appealing.

 

He's "struggling with money" because he's a lazy a-hole. Therefore, he struggles by choice. My son shouldn't suffer due to his laziness. I provide what I can, which is pretty much everything. But the extras he could have, he does without, because I'm not in a job where I can request overtime to pay for extras when they come up. I do my best, which is a lot, but why should my son do without even ANYTHING JUST because his dad is a lazy jackass? And you support his laziness! Why?

 

As for the polygamy thing, if I had my druthers, I would MUCH rather be the cake eater with many men at my beck and call, cooking and cleaning for me. At least that way I wouldn't feel like someone's doormat.

[Dexter Morgan]

The title of this thread is "Telling Wife HAD NO EFFECT ON ANYTHING!!!"

 

This would mean that the OP had intentions OTHER THAN her claim to simply want the wife to be informed....ya, RIGHT WHEN the baby was being born.

 

By saying, and in caps no less, HAD NO EFFECT ON ANYTHING....she had an expected outcome to this. She didn't get the desired response from her rubbing of the wife's nose in crap.

 

So the whole premise of this thread is despicable, and pointless. Is there anything that would be said from here on going to do anything for OP?

 

she wanted to harrass the wife, anyone else not seeing that?

[VictoryisMine]

I do, i see that too Dexter, the second i read the original post. Of course her goal was to have the wife cave in.

 

But as a somewhat OW myself i can't say "Shame on her"

[stillafool]

The title of this thread is "Telling Wife HAD NO EFFECT ON ANYTHING!!!"

 

This would mean that the OP had intentions OTHER THAN her claim to simply want the wife to be informed....ya, RIGHT WHEN the baby was being born.

 

By saying, and in caps no less, HAD NO EFFECT ON ANYTHING....she had an expected outcome to this. She didn't get the desired response from her rubbing of the wife's nose in crap.

 

So the whole premise of this thread is despicable, and pointless. Is there anything that would be said from here on going to do anything for OP?

 

she wanted to harrass the wife, anyone else not seeing that?

 

 

That is the only point I am getting from this thread. She deliberately wants his wife to be upset but it has backfired and OP is the only one who gives a crap about her situation. The W has probably seem many like her come and go since MM is a serial cheater. It amazes me how OP claims to be happy in her situation when it is killing her that no matter how many babies she shoots out he is still at home with his wife. She would try anything to get the W to leave so she could be in her position but it isn't going to happen. As one poster said even if the W did leave MM would not marry OP.

[stillafool]

I do, i see that too Dexter, the second i read the original post. Of course her goal was to have the wife cave in.

 

But as a somewhat OW myself i can't say "Shame on her"

 

 

Why not? If your relationship with your MM is going good why do you worry about the wife?

[Athena]

The title of this thread is "Telling Wife HAD NO EFFECT ON ANYTHING!!!"

 

This would mean that the OP had intentions OTHER THAN her claim to simply want the wife to be informed....ya, RIGHT WHEN the baby was being born.

 

By saying, and in caps no less, HAD NO EFFECT ON ANYTHING....she had an expected outcome to this. She didn't get the desired response from her rubbing of the wife's nose in crap.

 

So the whole premise of this thread is despicable, and pointless. Is there anything that would be said from here on going to do anything for OP?

 

she wanted to harrass the wife, anyone else not seeing that?

 

Yes, you make a good point. btw I really liked your previous posts in this thread!

[PhoenixRise]

It's simple.

 

There are many men all over the world who have many wives.

 

It's something very common, actually. Legal even.

 

So she is in that situation, the man is providing for two households, has two wives, children with them, and spends times with both.

 

Both women love him, at least NC does, and want to stay with him.

 

I imagine that NC with a few kids would prefer that he'd spend more time in her household, since she has many small children who need him, whereas with the marriage the children are grown up.

 

I can see that, especially since she just had a baby. And I also imagine that the man would become more and more attached to the OP as the family grows.

 

 

In this country a man can have only one wife and this MM has one that he has no intention of leaving.

 

AND even if he could marry them both the OP would need to be able to accept that she is 2nd wife. She would need to stop trying to harrass the 1st/primary wife or she might find herself getting kicked out of the harerm.

 

Clearly from her Original post in this thread and from her posting history and multi wife situation is not what she wants. She is trying to drive the only legal wife away so that she can replace her.

 

AND I wouldn't be so sure that this MM would become more attached to OP as the family grows since he has already told her he does not love the children he has with her as much as he loves the children he has with his wife. Having even more children for him NOT to love equally does not attachment make.

[Athena]

Well, I don't think she'll be better off without him anyway.

 

She is in the situation that she is in now, and she has five children to take care of. What does it matter what she says to herself?

 

Now she has to care for these children, and at least she has the support of the father. Plus, she is in love with him.

 

At least for now things are somewhat ok, although not ideal.

 

Yes agreed....if she thinks she is happy, who are we to tell her she's not? he's not abusing her, he is not lying to her or hiding anything, he's supporting his kids, spends 3-4 days a week with them, which is more than many divorced fathers get with their kids.

 

Hell, its not my ideal situation, but if it works for her....not that I think it does, totally, as she implies she'd like it if he married her, but it is what it is for now, so if she can genuinly be happy at the moment, barring the wishing they were married thing....well, what can you do. it could be worse. she could be raising all those kids alone with no support whatsoever, i suppose.

 

Ariadne, you make an interesting point, esp interesting to me since my mother has consistently told me not to divorce my H (who she loves as a son for over two decades) because he does provide, and I do love him...

 

BUT that is not so cut and dried... OP will be suffering psychologically (as is evident in her previous thread) as continually being second-best.

Anyway, it is never a healthy thing to have a SO being a serial cheater as this man is.

How was it phrased here on LS before? Something along the lines of, "Don't make the other person your everything when you are just an option to them"

[Athena]

I also wanted to point out that she CAN raise those kids without loving the MM and being single-mindedly obsessed with him... She has stated that he will continue to provide for his children financially, as does her xH for the eldest two kids.

 

So -- she is hanging in there on the ether of a wisp of HOPE that he will one day be hers, all hers.

[PhoenixRise]

Yes agreed....if she thinks she is happy, who are we to tell her she's not? he's not abusing her, he is not lying to her or hiding anything, he's supporting his kids, spends 3-4 days a week with them, which is more than many divorced fathers get with their kids.

 

Hell, its not my ideal situation, but if it works for her....not that I think it does, totally, as she implies she'd like it if he married her, but it is what it is for now, so if she can genuinly be happy at the moment, barring the wishing they were married thing....well, what can you do. it could be worse. she could be raising all those kids alone with no support whatsoever, i suppose.

 

 

You are right about this. If someone says they are happy then why try to change their mind. So she is happy today....

 

Maybe tomorro she will go back to trying to blow up the marriage so she can replace the wife or maybe she will be back here posting again about her scheme to post videos vilifying MM on youtube and exposing the affair to the world or maybe she will be posting about suing him in a court of law for not loving her and her kids and breaking his promises to do so, or she will be enraged because he told her flat out that he didn't love his kids with her as much as the kids with his wife.

 

 

But if she is happy holding out for the next 50 years hoping to be wife #2.....fine. But God help her if wife #1 outlives MM.

[NoIDidn't]

Someone asked earlier were her children provided for in his Will. It won't make a difference. Wills are contested all the time. And considering this is basically a second family that he provided for with marital funds, the W may very well be able to get them disinherited. She's already taken enough from the marital family by way of all of the nannies and the house, and the other things.

 

But who knows, I've seen cases like this where the mistress was given *something* in the event of his death, even in a contested Will situation. What's better to have than to be mentioned in the Will, is to be the beneficiaries of a huge Life Insurance policy. So long as its paid for, no one can take that away from them - unless she had something to do with his death. LOL.

 

If nothing else, I agree with Bent. This is certainly entertaining.

[Ariadne]

He's "struggling with money" because he's a lazy a-hole. Therefore, he struggles by choice. My son shouldn't suffer due to his laziness. I provide what I can, which is pretty much everything. But the extras he could have, he does without, because I'm not in a job where I can request overtime to pay for extras when they come up. I do my best, which is a lot, but why should my son do without even ANYTHING JUST because his dad is a lazy jackass? And you support his laziness! Why?

 

As for the polygamy thing, if I had my druthers, I would MUCH rather be the cake eater with many men at my beck and call, cooking and cleaning for me. At least that way I wouldn't feel like someone's doormat.

 

Well, if you want to know the way I think..

 

You took the kid, you pay for it.

 

You took his son away and you want to charge him for that? With what right? It's not human.

 

And the screwing many men, ewww....

[donnamaybe]

Well, if you want to know the way I think..

 

You took the kid, you pay for it.

 

You took his son away and you want to charge him for that? With what right? It's not human.

 

And the screwing many men, ewww....

 

LMAO! How funny! So you ARE saying my son should suffer because his sperm-donor is lazy. Nice. Yet you support a relationship wherein a man told his wife at their ceremony that he would "forsake all others" while he f's around with not one, and probably not the last, OW.

 

OP, you tried to get the wife upset by calling her. We all know that. It didn't work. It's never going to work. If it came down to it, your MM will choose her over you if a choice had to be made. Spare yourself a life of this nothing relationship and move on if you can.

 

As for your last little comment, A, I suppose in some people's minds it's better to stalk only ONE man who wants nothing to do with you, watching him through binoculars from a block away. (There needs to be an emoticon with a little corkscrew-like swirly thing spiraling up from his head ).

[bentnotbroken]

You are not giving these people much credit as far as values go, do you?

 

 

What kind of credit are they looking for?

[bentnotbroken]

(She was suggesting a poligamy arrangement with one woman many men).

 

 

Poligeny???

[bentnotbroken]

Well, if you want to know the way I think..

 

You took the kid, you pay for it.

 

You took his son away and you want to charge him for that? With what right? It's not human.

 

And the screwing many men, ewww....

 

 

And one man screwing many women.....ewwww is right. She didn't have her child alone, he should support that child no matter where he is. Only a total prick would deny a child support, male or female.

[donnamaybe]

And, by the way, my son and I moving has NOTHING to do with support. If we HADN'T moved, we would STILL be in the same situation money-wise.

 

As if my son's geographic location should have ANYTHING to do with what he deserves from his father.

[fooled once]

LMAO! How funny! So you ARE saying my son should suffer because his sperm-donor is lazy. Nice. Yet you support a relationship wherein a man told his wife at their ceremony that he would "forsake all others" while he f's around with not one, and probably not the last, OW.

 

OP, you tried to get the wife upset by calling her. We all know that. It didn't work. It's never going to work. If it came down to it, your MM will choose her over you if a choice had to be made. Spare yourself a life of this nothing relationship and move on if you can.

 

As for your last little comment, A, I suppose in some people's minds it's better to stalk only ONE man who wants nothing to do with you, watching him through binoculars from a block away. (There needs to be an emoticon with a little corkscrew-like swirly thing spiraling up from his head ).

 

Donna - I divorced my alcoholic ex and asked for and received sole custody. I know what it is like to have a lazy ex who only provides the bare minimum. Don't let anyone else make you feel bad for the choices you made. UNLESS you walk a mile in a divorced biomom shoes (with a lazy ex to boot), their views don't matter. You know you are your son's sole parent (like I have always been to mine).

 

Hugs to you Donna.