I think I've got a stalker. Support?

[Trialbyfire]

I wonder if this is an isolated incident? Or if he's pulled this kind of thing on other women? Might be interesting to research whether he's had similar charges filed on him in the past ... if so, that would go a long way for establishing a case that he is serious problem/threat to women.

This is a great idea!!

[redfathom]

I say you call a sergeant at the department and ask for further help, sometimes police get lazy and don't want to do a report. Or have an attorney call, or some of your friends call him and request that he stop. This is very intense though and needs a quick intervention.

[GorillaTheater]

or some of your friends call him and request that he stop.

 

This is what I was thinking. I'll relate a story:

 

My wife has a friend. Some years ago, this friend dated a cop once or twice but found he was a bit of a nut. True to form, he started harrassing her in a way that was pretty scary for the friend. My wife told me about it. At the time, I was an Asst. DA and called in a favor from one of the investigators, one of those laid back-yet-lethal types (how he came to owe me that favor is a story in itself). This guy called the cop and told him, essentially, to back the f*ck off. Cop ranted a bit, but duly complied.

[Art_Critic]

I think you did great Tink....

 

I think in cases like this you should always fall on the side of your safety as it is obvious the guy isn't right in the head..

Who does that kind of shiot ?

[tinktronik]

This is a great idea!!

 

That is an interesting idea. I think I will see if I can't find out how to do this.

[tinktronik]

I think you did great Tink....

 

I think in cases like this you should always fall on the side of your safety as it is obvious the guy isn't right in the head..

Who does that kind of shiot ?

 

This was my contention as well AC. Who does this? This was a business meeting, not a date, not a possible love match... A business meeting. This makes it worse in my mind somehow. It suggests that he has made a large leap from reality.

[Lucky_One]

You can do a search for a lot of criminal stuff through http://www.dirtsearch.org Some states are better than others, and some info isn't listed accurately. But you can sometimes find out really interesting things there. I was able to find out that a friend's new BF was in the midst of a felony embezzlement trial.

[Jilly Bean]

Well I went and filed a report. I got a little piece of paper with my report number on it. The officer said at this point there is nothing they can do but if it continues and picks up again tell the crank-job to leave me alone and then, if he continues, I could request a restraining order for harassment but am not likely to get one unless the guy makes a threat or comes to my home.

 

Yeah, that's what I figured.

 

I went through two stalkers in my life, so kinda been down this road.

 

The most recent, and most insane one, finally had to be *ahem* visited by some "friends". That stopped him. For YEARS.

 

Until about 2 years ago.

 

I had moved out west 3 years prior to hearing from him the last time. I got a call on my cell from my old area code, so I answered it, figuring it was a friend calling from another number or something. Turns out, it was the insane stalker. I screamed at him to NEVER CALL ME AGAIN. And then I hung up. And it really frightened me, because he somehow found out my cell phone number which isn't published.

 

And I haven't heard from him since.

 

So, point is, sometimes even when they are super scary initially, and go away, then resurface, it isn't always with the same level of intensity or continuity.

 

Still, good call to cover your bases and keep things filed just in case, though it sounds like he's gone back into hiding, correct? (fingers crossed!)

[tinktronik]

Yeah, that's what I figured.

 

I went through two stalkers in my life, so kinda been down this road.

 

The most recent, and most insane one, finally had to be *ahem* visited by some "friends". That stopped him. For YEARS.

 

Until about 2 years ago.

 

I had moved out west 3 years prior to hearing from him the last time. I got a call on my cell from my old area code, so I answered it, figuring it was a friend calling from another number or something. Turns out, it was the insane stalker. I screamed at him to NEVER CALL ME AGAIN. And then I hung up. And it really frightened me, because he somehow found out my cell phone number which isn't published.

 

And I haven't heard from him since.

 

So, point is, sometimes even when they are super scary initially, and go away, then resurface, it isn't always with the same level of intensity or continuity.

 

Still, good call to cover your bases and keep things filed just in case, though it sounds like he's gone back into hiding, correct? (fingers crossed!)

 

I am hoping the same. However, I have had about 25 calls come into the biz line over this weekend from an unlisted number; but no messages.

 

I don't know what it is JB. I have had a few creepy "stalker types" over the years as well. One a friend of myself and my SO that one day just got really strange and we caught him peeking in our windows and watching us from a field across from our home. That burned out pretty fast though.

 

It really makes me wonder the incidence of men that stalk women. How many men are unbalanced in this way? And I wonder what those figures look like towards women stalking men?

[Jilly Bean]

I am hoping the same. However, I have had about 25 calls come into the biz line over this weekend from an unlisted number; but no messages.

 

I don't know what it is JB. I have had a few creepy "stalker types" over the years as well. One a friend of myself and my SO that one day just got really strange and we caught him peeking in our windows and watching us from a field across from our home. That burned out pretty fast though.

 

It really makes me wonder the incidence of men that stalk women. How many men are unbalanced in this way? And I wonder what those figures look like towards women stalking men?

 

Oh, I think you find more men stalking than women. Well, let's say we stalk in other ways that don't scare the guy. Like, we'll Nancy Drew an ex to find out who he's dating or what not by checking his facebook. lol.

 

Any update on this guy?

 

Hope it's been quiet for you.

[You'reasian]

I've never understood the point of stalking a woman. No offense, but I can't see an ex being worth it.

Edited October 3, 2009 by You'reasian

[tinktronik]

Oh, I think you find more men stalking than women. Well, let's say we stalk in other ways that don't scare the guy. Like, we'll Nancy Drew an ex to find out who he's dating or what not by checking his facebook. lol.

 

Any update on this guy?

 

Hope it's been quiet for you.

 

It's been quiet except for a few anonymous calls going through the business line. I've not been answering the phones at all so if it is him he is not in the mood to talk to the receptionist or sales manager. So far so good!

[Jilly Bean]

It's been quiet except for a few anonymous calls going through the business line. I've not been answering the phones at all so if it is him he is not in the mood to talk to the receptionist or sales manager. So far so good!

 

 

Good stuff. So, hopefully you can consider his recent emergence as a one-off...

[Angel1111]

How about turning the tables on this guy and find out where he lives. Then go pay his wife a visit when he's not around and let her listen to the messages he's leaving. That should bring it all to a screeching halt. If nothing else, tell him that if he contacts you one more time, you're going to talk to his wife. That should shut him down pretty quickly.

 

Depending on the nature of his messages, the police may intervene. There was a guy that I dated a few times and when I ended it with him, he went bananas. I stopped talking to him so he started leaving messages, calling me all kinds of names and threatening me in subtle ways. I filed a report and when the policeman heard what the guy called me, he said, "Did he just call you what I think he called you?" I said yes and the cop went really quiet and I could tell he was angry. I honestly think he paid the guy a visit.

 

I also sent the guy a letter that I had couriered over to him that said some things that a police officer told me to say - I told him to stop contacting me in any way, to never contact any member of my family (he had sent letters to a couple of members of my family, which completely freaked them out), to not contact any of my friends, and that I considered his behavior to be harassment. I also let him know that I had filed a police report on him. He had to sign for this letter so I had proof that he received it.

 

The police told me that if he continued to bug me after that, we could go to court and I had a better chance of getting results because I specifically told him that I felt harassed. And I was fully prepared to go to court, too. Because I was just like you are now - I was scared to death. But after about a week of that, I finally got pissed off and wondered who he thought he was to come into my life like that and threaten me and my family. Either the letter or the police visit (or both) had the desired effect because I never heard a peep out of him after that.

 

And, as someone else said, you need to take this very seriously. There's a reason why you're feeling scared and paranoid - because your instincts have kicked in. What he is doing to you is very threatening. I would definitely get the police involved because they'll probably make frequent drive-bys to your home and keep tabs on you.

[You'reasian]

You can do a search for a lot of criminal stuff through www.dirtsearch.org Some states are better than others, and some info isn't listed accurately. But you can sometimes find out really interesting things there. I was able to find out that a friend's new BF was in the midst of a felony embezzlement trial.

 

That's a good site.

 

Did a self-search on that one and apparently, I have addresses in every state - have filed patents for an enzyme, am a doctor, lawyer and businessman and even a judge!

 

I would like to encourage future dates to use this search please