stace79 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Quoted for truth. I can't even begin to tell you the "nice guys" I know of - and they truly are good men - that get treated like dirt or ignored entirely by women, the very same women that are attracted to the proverbial bad boys like iron filings to a magnet. But we've been over this a million times, and the same conclusions are reached each and every time: There's a wide and burgeoning gulf between what many women say they want and what they actually do want. Now watch the accusations of misogyny fly. Maybe the guys you view as "nice" aren't "nice" in terms of what women want. Either that, or maybe the problem is that guys only want certain women, and THOSE women don't want them, so they say that NO woman wants a "nice guy".... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hkizzle Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 And, once again, no one has addressed the fact that I, a woman, HAVE a nice guy. Nope. Sure didn't take long to figure y'all out - as per usual. Ok I'll bite. Whenever a woman's with a man she will pretty much always justify her choice. I have never heard a woman say "my man is an ahole" because when she comes to her conclusion she will dump the guy. Hence loads of women with bad boys say their bad boy bfs are nice simply because they are emotionally attracted. Link to post Share on other sites
stace79 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 see i some how am a nice guy and have figured out how to find the girls that want me i get hit on all the time. the problem your having is not yourself but the girls and the girls you meeting. your going out and getting drunk and hopping your going to find a girl that will be interested in you as a person. good luck. in college girls just at the dc would sit next to me and hit on me. the best way to meet girls is to experiment about your self and figure out what you like to do. the guys who just lift all day and go to parties are only going to find the girls who dont like to do anything but find guys that just dont do much other then **** for one night typically and the others not like that are just looking for good time to be drunk but hookup with no one. find your self a sport or a job or a class or something and meet girls like that. then ask them out. you can find a one night stand drunk but to find the right one you have to find them while your sober. Finally, a guy who gets it! This is exactly right. The guys who complain that no woman wants a "nice guy" are looking in the wrong places and probably have THEIR type of woman they want. Just b/c that partying type of girl doesn't want them, they assume NO woman wants a nice guy. I am betting there have been women who hit on them, and they blow them off because they're "too fat" or not pretty enough or whatever, and those women don't even count in their "register" of how many women hit on them. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Donna, you know I like you and I say this with all respect, but knowing you to the extent I do, I can't imagine a man you'd be compatible with would be all THAT "nice". Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Ok I'll bite. Whenever a woman's with a man she will pretty much always justify her choice. I have never heard a woman say "my man is an ahole" because when she comes to her conclusion she will dump the guy. Hence loads of women with bad boys say their bad boy bfs are nice simply because they are emotionally attracted. Even if we split tomorrow, I would still classify him as a nice guy. He does a lot of things for people who are mere acquaintances to him simply because they are in need, even though there is nothing in it for him. When it comes to things between us he always considers the common good, even where my son is concerned. He is always fair about money issues, but won't allow himself to be used. Not that I try, because I'm all about being fair too, but he'd never be anyone's doormat. He never forgets birthdays and stuff. He really is a nice guy. Really. There ARE nice guys, not like motive described (which is just a jerk in sheep's clothing), and there ARE women who appreciate them. Gals who like a-holes are girls. Not women. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hkizzle Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 see i some how am a nice guy and have figured out how to find the girls that want me i get hit on all the time. the problem your having is not yourself but the girls and the girls you meeting. your going out and getting drunk and hopping your going to find a girl that will be interested in you as a person. good luck. in college girls just at the dc would sit next to me and hit on me. the best way to meet girls is to experiment about your self and figure out what you like to do. the guys who just lift all day and go to parties are only going to find the girls who dont like to do anything but find guys that just dont do much other then **** for one night typically and the others not like that are just looking for good time to be drunk but hookup with no one. find your self a sport or a job or a class or something and meet girls like that. then ask them out. you can find a one night stand drunk but to find the right one you have to find them while your sober. No, this is a gross oversimplification. Btw, I do a LOT of different things, not just go clubbing, just happens this event was in a club, and it allows me to approach a lot of girls in a short time. These girls in clubs, I would say are NOT a good reflection of the entire female population of course, however it does reflect upon a lot of women. Just look at how many women get played then come on this board to ask for advice These girls in the clubs are not looking for one night stands. They are looking for relationships, a lot of them, but just not interested in the types of guys that are nice. I am also not talking about fake nice guys, but the real deal. It's confidence, simple as that. Confidence will get you a woman way easier than if you were genuinely nice. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Donna, you know I like you and I say this with all respect, but knowing you to the extent I do, I can't imagine a man you'd be compatible with would be all THAT "nice". If you mean in bed, he's a BAD BAD BOY!!!! If you mean just everyday life, he commands and EARNS respect, but he is nice in the true sense of the word. Link to post Share on other sites
IrishCarBomb Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 I love internet confirmation bias. Awesome. Link to post Share on other sites
stace79 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 No, this is a gross oversimplification. Btw, I do a LOT of different things, not just go clubbing, just happens this event was in a club, and it allows me to approach a lot of girls in a short time. These girls in clubs, I would say are NOT a good reflection of the entire female population of course, however it does reflect upon a lot of women. Just look at how many women get played then come on this board to ask for advice These girls in the clubs are not looking for one night stands. They are looking for relationships, a lot of them, but just not interested in the types of guys that are nice. I am also not talking about fake nice guys, but the real deal. It's confidence, simple as that. Confidence will get you a woman way easier than if you were genuinely nice. Well if all else fells, smell your armpits. Maybe you forgot deodorant. Link to post Share on other sites
espec10001 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Me thinks that this is all alcohol fueled ranting. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Me thinks that this is all alcohol fueled ranting. For my part... I WISH!!!! Tomorrow night! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hkizzle Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 Well if all else fells, smell your armpits. Maybe you forgot deodorant. Oh good come back....... I've drank a **** load and can at least make a decent arguement. Please at least give reasons why it's not valid. Link to post Share on other sites
eiithan Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Please friggin stop lying to yourself and admit at least that fact, because if women were NATURALLY attracted to nice they wouldn't fall for jerks, but they're not, they want confident. Being nice and being confident are not necessarily contradicting terms. It depends on how you define "nice." If you are referring to men with agreeable manners, he may or may not be a confident person. If you interchange "nice" with "genuine", "unpretentious", and "honest", then in my view nice men are comfortable with their own skin and therefore are of confident nature. However I do see that the word "nice" is quite abused in the U.S. at least, as non-descriptive as "cute," and it conveys almost nil significance as a positive connotation... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hkizzle Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 Being nice and being confident are not necessarily contradicting terms. It depends on how you define "nice." I didn't say nice and confidence contradict. But nice and confidence are not correlated. But confidence as a factor drives female attraction way more than nice. Lol, so again, why the hell don't women just ask me to introduce confident guys to them? Or are they forgetting "confident and nice" when they're just saying "get me a nice guy"? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Being nice and being confident are not necessarily contradicting terms.. most of the time they are Link to post Share on other sites
stace79 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Oh good come back....... I've drank a **** load and can at least make a decent arguement. Please at least give reasons why it's not valid. I did present an argument. Not my fault you didn't take the time to read it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hkizzle Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 I did present an argument. Not my fault you didn't take the time to read it. I have a big penis. That's a good arguement too.... Link to post Share on other sites
espec10001 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Maybe you should lay off the booze buddy. It ain't womenz fault. Booze makes you say and do stupid things. Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Being nice and being confident are not necessarily contradicting terms. It depends on how you define "nice." If you are referring to men with agreeable manners, he may or may not be a confident person. If you interchange "nice" with "genuine", "unpretentious", and "honest", then in my view nice men are comfortable with their own skin and therefore are of confident nature.This is where the argument starts to go sideways, because basically it comes down to semantics. The "nice guy" is often defined by either being a doormat or being a manipulator (search for "covert contracts"). I highly doubt that our friend donnamaybe's man is a "nice guy" in one of those senses. It sounds, at least how she describes him, as a honorable man that's willing to extend himself without expecting anything in return. That's light-years away from the "nice guy" described above and in materials like No More Mr Nice Guy by Dr Robert Glover. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 I didn't say nice and confidence contradict. But nice and confidence are not correlated. But confidence as a factor drives female attraction way more than nice. Lol, so again, why the hell don't women just ask me to introduce confident guys to them? Or are they forgetting "confident and nice" when they're just saying "get me a nice guy"? Can't you figure some things out yourself? Do you think any of the women you know want a "nice" doormat? I was being chased by a VERY nice guy before I met my current. I was a good friend, but didn't want anything more because I could TELL that if I wanted to run roughshod over him he would let me and ask for more. THAT brand of nice I do NOT need. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 This is where the argument starts to go sideways, because basically it comes down to semantics. The "nice guy" is often defined by either being a doormat or being a manipulator (search for "covert contracts"). I highly doubt that our friend donnamaybe's man is a "nice guy" in one of those senses. It sounds, at least how she describes him, as a honorable man that's willing to extend himself without expecting anything in return. That's light-years away from the "nice guy" described above and in materials like No More Mr Nice Guy by Dr Robert Glover. You got it right on Thaddeus. He's the REAL kind of nice. Not "nice" for show or "nice" and willing to be walked all over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hkizzle Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 Finally OP I ask you or anyone else define nice guy. When a girl asks you to introduce her to a nice guy she probably is trying to communicate the kind of guy who will respect her and not bring drama into her life. Different from what you define in this post. . Actually that's EXACTLY what I mean in my post. My definition of a nice guy always has been and always will be a genuinely nice person what will treat a woman with respect. But of course many lack confidence, cut them out and the jerks and there are few men that are naturally confident and give women respect, hence why women say no nice guys out there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hkizzle Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 Can't you figure some things out yourself? Do you think any of the women you know want a "nice" doormat?. Lol, I just find it interesting that no woman ever even mentions the word confident, that's all! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 ...and there are few men that are naturally confident and give women respect, hence why women say no nice guys out there. many women don't want respect...they want fireworks and romance and excitement and drama. they want their man to make them "feel" Link to post Share on other sites
stace79 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 1. You haven't defined "nice" still. As a woman, I define a "nice guy" as kind, empathetic, animal lover, easy going, willing to compromise, genuinely fun to be around, hard-working but not a workaholic, honest and with a good moral compass. However, within those parameters, there is also a huge potential variance because what I find fun to be around may be a total bore to some other girl. Or my version of easy going might be a sloth to another higher energy girl. 2. Guys (and girls, occasionally) tend to say "Oh, no girl ever wants to be with me/hits on me/responds to my advances." Well, there are probably girls who do, they just aren't the ones you want. I used to get annoyed that "no guy wanted me", too, but in fact there will plenty of guys who wanted me -- they just weren't the ones I wanted. To the OP -- maybe you're setting your standards too high. I know tons of guys who are relatively "nice", but they might be a little overweight, have bad skin, not have good jobs, be addicted to video games, etc. and yet they expect to hook some hot, blond, 5'8'', 115-pound model type. When she isn't interested, they just exclaim "oh women want bad boys, not nice guys." Link to post Share on other sites
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