Bad boys come first, gay men second, nice guys come last

[lord alfred douglas]

their usage of the word "nice" means either rich or good looking (or both)

 

rich = nice

good looking = nice

rich & good looking = really nice

True

 

It explains the attraction to gays as well as most gays are nice looking and well off

[lord alfred douglas]

Women know it is true. When I developed my don't give a fudge attitude towards women my dating life improved by bounds. Between marriages I had a maneating women who treated men like to toys ready to marry me and it seems that I had a different date every week. The only reason I stopped is because quite honestly being a player is exhausting.

 

The bad boys I know who treat women like toys have their pick of women they could marry tommorow while the nice guys are getting cheated on and discarded left and right. It seems that once you make a woman respect you attraction follows and that is what bad boys are good at. Not all women are like this as evidenced by marriage and other marriages but even in my case my wife knows that all the love and devotion I have for her would go up in smoke if she were to ever cheat on me or mistreat me. I treat a woman like a queen when she acts like one but when she acts like trash she gets thrown out like it.

I've seen you say this a million times, but dont you think there is more to it than just "nice" or "player"?

 

Would you be crazy about a woman just because she was "nice" Woggle?

 

How would that make any difference at all?

[lord alfred douglas]

 

Alcohol still in my blood, please don't flame me. I know it's 3pm EST, but it's 3am here in Hong Kong.

3 AM in Hong Kong must be gorgeous, number one skyline in the world (according to architectural digest)

[Hkizzle]

3 AM in Hong Kong must be gorgeous, number one skyline in the world (according to architectural digest)

 

Yeah it's pretty cool especially when you look at it from the harbor or from the mountains above the city.

 

Sea view

 

http://www.bugbog.com/images/main/china_travel_guide/hong_kong_travel_guide.jpg

 

Mountain view

 

http://www.popandpolitics.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/hong-kong-15-thumbnail-hong-kong-_tngpx10001x14537x1fa4c1096.jpg

 

So who wants to visit me? Any of you ladies? I'm not a misogynist, a player, gay, or a nice guy........I swear.

[bhweller]

I've seen you say this a million times, but dont you think there is more to it than just "nice" or "player"?

 

Would you be crazy about a woman just because she was "nice" Woggle?

 

How would that make any difference at all?

 

men have similar hangups that are just as bad. For example, I have never wanted to have sex with a woman just because she was smart or honest. I have stressed over and pined after dumb lying whores though. All I can say is at least I realize it now.

[EcstasyX6]

confindent men are usually the "bad boys"....non confident men are usually the "nice guys"

 

the key is to find one who is in between, and they are rare indeed

 

I didn't read the whole thread, but you hit the nail on the head. My bf is one(in between). He's got an edge, is very sexy, but is very sweet to me. i.e. he speaks his mind, I could never manipulate him, he's very assertive, tells me what he wants from me, but does typical guy stuff. I think that's what most women want. I do. Took me forever to find him...

 

Men who are wimpy, pushovers, and lack confidence call themselves 'nice guys', but that's not the kind of 'nice' women mean. Act like a man, not a jerk, and women will flock to you.

 

Gay men are toys for heterosexual women...at least in my experience. For a typical heterosexual woman, there's no sexual interest there, just fun to be had with them.

[EcstasyX6]

I have been through all of this and there are little bits of the truth scattered around this thread, but nobody is really putting it all together because they want to defend their egos. I mean that towards both men and women.

 

For all you PUA guys out there, I have been through that stuff too, and yes, it does work. I am a nerd, not in perfect shape, not rich, not very young anymore, but I can get laid if I really play the game.

 

As for the women who say girls want players and women want nice guys, that is a lie they are telling themselves because they don't want to face what they truly are, because it goes against social programming. All sexually mature heterosexual females subconsciously or consciously rank every person they meet on a status scale. I believe it is a natural born instinct and is part of human evolution left over from monkey days ( if monkey days are indeed over, lol)

Anyway, if the sexually mature hetero woman is psychologically healthy and basically happy, she will only really get interested in a guy if she perceives something about him that is high status, at least in her estimation. There is room for taste here, but some things are universally high status, such as confidence and guts. That is why bad boys and PUA's get laid. That is why the rich and famous guys can pick who they want even if they are ugly jerks.

 

The gay guys and the "friend zone" guys are essentially equivalent to our fictional "normal" woman. Yes, you read that right, if you are in the friend zone you might as well be gay or not even have genitals, because you are not really a man to her. You are a pal , and "real man" and "pal" do not mix in the female brain. In fact, even if she is attracted to you, if you consistently act like her pal, or her father, or brother, or money donor, or doormat, eventually she will not be able to have sexual attraction towards you anymore.

 

Now, heres the thing......none of this is actually wrong or evil, and men are really the same way.

 

I am not totally turned on sexually by a woman unless she makes me a little bit nervous, as she is never 100% "in the bag" and "keeps me on my toes". I like women who are sexual freaks and not very clingy, but then I get upset when they go for another guy sexually and don't give a sh*t about what that does to my self esteem. I don't like high powered career women at all, regardless of looks or personality, because to me they are too masculine and more like a competitor than a mate. I like to rescue damsels in distress, and they use me and leave me, and then I fall into self pity. I have real emotional needs and flaws that apparently a "real man" just isn't supposed to have. I am a bit of a strange dude, but I am not a martian and I think there are lots of guys who could relate to what I said.

 

in the end, there is no one to blame but ourselves, or perhaps the whole human race.

 

Actually, you don't sound strange, but like a pretty cool person. Great response! I think you're right. Not to brag or anything, and I'm not the most beautiful woman out here, but men I date typically fall in love with me, and I think it's because I'm not clingy, I'm confident, feminine and sexy, and very passionate. It seems to drive men nuts. They like my aloofness as well(I'm not pretending-just don't like being up under someone all the time), and many females seek the same qualities in a man.

 

The status issue in my life: My ex is extremely smart, high paying job, but lacked confidence, and that animal magnetism. He is a 'nice guy'. Too nice. Somebody will attack me, but oh well. We just didn't work well together.

 

My current bf is not as intelligent as my ex, but he's an alpha male: physically a specimen by most women's standards, but smart, well grounded, and very confident. He's very sweet and loyal to me, but he doesn't take crap from anybody, and I'm completely captivated. He's kind of edgy and tough on the outside and soft and sweet on the inside..but not too much...Hmmm, sounds like some kind of food...

[Thornton]

This is a very interesting thread

 

Personally I have conflicting opinions of nice guys and bad boys. My mind tells me I need a nice guy - someone who is caring, loves children, treats me with respect, etc - so I find such a guy and then end up feeling incredibly bored and unattracted to him, because he just isn't manly, he's a bit wet behind the ears. Instinctually I am attracted to guys who are confident, exciting, strong - the typical alpha male. So I have this conflict between what my mind tells me I should want and what my hormones tell me I actually want. I should note that my attraction to the alpha male has very little to do with looks, it's more about him being manly and confident and exciting, about him throwing me on the bed and ravishing me instead of being meek and sensitive.

 

Unfortunately, the typical alpha male (the guy I desire) doesn't treat me nicely or love me, while the "nice guy" treats me nicely but I don't desire him. What I want (what every girl wants!) is a confident alpha male who is totally in love with me and takes care of me - but unfortunately that sort of combination is rare, most guys are either one or the other. If the "nice guys" would man up and behave a bit more like an alpha male while still retaining their caring nature, they would be pretty much perfect.

[You'reasian]

A female would rather share part of a real man than have a total nice guy all to herself.

 

SS

 

PS: Females on the board will disagree, but as I've said before, watch what women DO. Don't listen to what they say.

 

.....Spot on.

[sally4sara]

How weird.....

 

All these guys saying jerks have all the luck

"But not me

I guess I'm not enough of a jerk"

 

I say you're all jerks. Just some of you are awkward, ugly, not very bright or funny enough to pick up the ones willing to screw anything in pants without concern for who the guy is.

 

If you were not all jerks, you would be more concerned with the qualities of who you screw rather than just getting to screw someone - anyone.

 

Instead you will sleep with any jerk in a skirt and worry about who she is after. The only time you stop and concern yourself with who the jerk in the skirt is, is when they are awkward, ugly, not very bright or funny.

 

Just because many guys will screw those girls too - it is women who fall for jerks for not being so indiscriminate?

If men where choosier - THEN maybe there would be some truth to the assertion that only women go for jerks.

 

Or do you all follow every guy who happened to be acting like a jerk at any given moment around to see if he succeeds beyond the getting laid bit?

 

Getting laid for a night - THAT isn't really success, that is just being fast food.

[carhill]

Masturbation can help with that

 

My bad boy and gay man are ganging up on my nice guy for a threesome, so I'm kinda busy right now...

 

Here's my take... women want what they want. Good on them. If I'm not it, bonus. Just leave me the f*ck alone

[Woggle]

I've seen you say this a million times, but dont you think there is more to it than just "nice" or "player"?

 

Would you be crazy about a woman just because she was "nice" Woggle?

 

How would that make any difference at all?

 

No but I don't seem drawn to women that treat me like crap the way some women are drawn to men that are that way. To be fair there are also some men who are drawn to women that treat them badly.

[Woggle]

One thing I also notice is that the women who most go for bad boys are the independent ball busting career women. They are the ones who tend to lose all sense chasing after a married man as well. It just seems odd that women who pride themselves on not being traditional tend to want the most traditional man. My guess is that they spend all day being tough and assertive so they want to go home and feel feminine but the only men who are attracted these women for anything beyond a fling are spineless wimps.

[fatamus]

This is a very interesting thread

 

Personally I have conflicting opinions of nice guys and bad boys. My mind tells me I need a nice guy - someone who is caring, loves children, treats me with respect, etc - so I find such a guy and then end up feeling incredibly bored and unattracted to him, because he just isn't manly, he's a bit wet behind the ears. Instinctually I am attracted to guys who are confident, exciting, strong - the typical alpha male. So I have this conflict between what my mind tells me I should want and what my hormones tell me I actually want. I should note that my attraction to the alpha male has very little to do with looks, it's more about him being manly and confident and exciting, about him throwing me on the bed and ravishing me instead of being meek and sensitive.

 

Unfortunately, the typical alpha male (the guy I desire) doesn't treat me nicely or love me, while the "nice guy" treats me nicely but I don't desire him. What I want (what every girl wants!) is a confident alpha male who is totally in love with me and takes care of me - but unfortunately that sort of combination is rare, most guys are either one or the other. If the "nice guys" would man up and behave a bit more like an alpha male while still retaining their caring nature, they would be pretty much perfect.

 

You cant tech "tenacity" to anyone, your born with it. Learning how to be "tough" into your 20's is too late. You cant just "man up" a wimp. Thats what alpha males do they dominate other weaker males and break their will, i am not talking about fighting i am talking everyday situations, where people are already intimidated and have already lost.

 

Crazy sex is another bonus. I know different women go for different looks but in general girls want to be dominated sexually by the Hercules looking guy not some skinny nerd that looks like a girl himself. I know its not all about looks you girls need to love the personality blah blah blah…… Yet the guy that looks like a Greek statute and acts like a man gets chicks all over even just to fool around with. I hear all these girls talk about how they want emotion attachment, compatibility blah blah blah… but when it comes to pure sex all of the sudden the nice guy is left in the dust. Just what I discovered lately.... and the sex can get insane if both of you have that animal attraction. I am talking.... the girl is shaking before you even start and by morning your both bruised up and forget where your even at. It ain't fun if its not nasty and rough. Yeah i know there are times to be gentle, but that's for teenagers and old people.

[carhill]

Nothing more invigorating for a nice guy than angry sex

[Woggle]

Late 20s is not too late to learn how to be tough. I grew a spine in my late 20s and many men do. Also strong men don't dominate other men. Only the weak want to bully those who are weaker than them.

[WineCountry]

Haha, so many responses and so fast. Interesting topic hey?

 

It is an interesting topic though.

 

Because I kid you not, because I speak to all my single female friends about nice guys/ jerks etc, I have A LOT asking me to introduce nice guys to them.

 

But they are not friggin interested in nice, they are interested in CONFIDENT.

 

Please friggin stop lying to yourself and admit at least that fact, because if women were NATURALLY attracted to nice they wouldn't fall for jerks, but they're not, they want confident.

 

Why the hell doesn't a single female friend ask me to introduce confident guys to them huh?

 

Alcohol still in my blood, please don't flame me. I know it's 3pm EST, but it's 3am here in Hong Kong.

 

 

 

WHY IN THE WORLD CANT A CONFIDENT GUY BE A NICE GUY?????

For the love of puppies people. Why is CONFIDENT not being associated with NICE? Being NICE has nothing to do with being confident. You are either a nice, decent person or you are not.

 

Being confident doesnt mean that you have to walk up to a woman and go "yo babe, get yer bitc*h a$$ over here and dance with me, you dirty wh*re".

 

I mean WTF?? The problem is what is everyone's definition of a "nice' guy?? By nice i mean a guy who is not crude and rude like my above example, but yet who exudes confidence enough to kow what he wants and go after it. You dont have to be a jack ass to do that.

 

A nice guy is not abusive, controlling, or condescending. He will listen to what a woman has to say, and respect what she has to say, but will still make his own thoughts and opinions known. He will treat a woman with respect, but will demand that she show him the same. A nice guy does not have to bow down to a woman to be nice.

 

A nice guy does not equal doormat and does not HAVE to equal doormat in order to be consider nice. Like I said, nice doesn't equal a guy having to slobber all over a woman's feet, or act like his testicles never dropped.

 

 

My GOD.

[WineCountry]

And as far as the gay man thing. Well yeah lots of women like gay men. And most women I know, including me, dont want to screw them.

 

Gay men are like chicks. You can talk about guys with them, ask them how you look in clothes, hang all over them, get dressed in front of them, and they wont be waving their p-enis in your face.

 

Gay men can be even better than your female friends. And they are fun as hell to hang with, without the pe-nis waving. Two snaps up for the gays.

[You'reasian]

And as far as the gay man thing. Well yeah lots of women like gay men. And most women I know, including me, dont want to screw them.

 

Gay men are like chicks. You can talk about guys with them, ask them how you look in clothes, hang all over them, get dressed in front of them, and they wont be waving their p-enis in your face.

 

Gay men can be even better than your female friends. And they are fun as hell to hang with, without the pe-nis waving. Two snaps up for the gays.

 

I'd imagine they'd make a good wingman for a straight guy (almost sounds like a theme for the next hit show...jk)

[Hkizzle]

WHY IN THE WORLD CANT A CONFIDENT GUY BE A NICE GUY?????

For the love of puppies people. Why is CONFIDENT not being associated with NICE? Being NICE has nothing to do with being confident. You are either a nice, decent person or you are not.

 

Being confident doesnt mean that you have to walk up to a woman and go "yo babe, get yer bitc*h a$$ over here and dance with me, you dirty wh*re".

 

I mean WTF?? The problem is what is everyone's definition of a "nice' guy?? By nice i mean a guy who is not crude and rude like my above example, but yet who exudes confidence enough to kow what he wants and go after it. You dont have to be a jack ass to do that.

 

A nice guy is not abusive, controlling, or condescending. He will listen to what a woman has to say, and respect what she has to say, but will still make his own thoughts and opinions known. He will treat a woman with respect, but will demand that she show him the same. A nice guy does not have to bow down to a woman to be nice.

 

A nice guy does not equal doormat and does not HAVE to equal doormat in order to be consider nice. Like I said, nice doesn't equal a guy having to slobber all over a woman's feet, or act like his testicles never dropped.

 

 

My GOD.

 

You're right, there's no correlation between nice and confident.

 

There's:

 

Nice and confident (rarest)

Confident (rare)

Nice but not confident (most common)

Not nice and not confident (player wannabe's that need to be put down)

 

So what's your point? You read the entire thread yet? Lots of good input from people.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

. A female would rather share part of a real man than have a total nice guy all to herself.

 

.

So nice guys aren't even real men is what your saying here? no wonder so many guys act like total wankers most of the time with this mentality am I the only one who finds this disturbing?

[SpanksTheMonkey]

Typically, which ever one is taller is the one to come first.

 

edit: That's in my experience. Could be different from others.

LMAO.. poor Mr stumpy I'm going to buy you some platform heels you up for it?

[Hkizzle]

So nice guys aren't even real men is what your saying here? no wonder so many guys act like total wankers most of the time with this mentality am I the only one who finds this disturbing?

 

I know plenty of former nice guys that threw in the towel and became bad boys. Myself included, lol. Got to question if they were really that nice to begin with, but anyway.

 

Not getting what you want, whilst someone gets it, is one of the most corrupting things in humanity.

 

Whenever there is a lot of money to be made, you will often find good cops sucked into corruption simply because they see how much money is to be made. Temptation.........one of the roots of all human evils.

[WineCountry]

You're right, there's no correlation between nice and confident.

 

There's:

 

Nice and confident (rarest)

 

This is your opinion, i have met them and dated them. So, you are saying you are NOT nice and confident yourself, eh?

 

Confident (rare)

 

See above

 

 

 

Not nice and not confident (player wannabe's that need to be put down)

 

So what's your point? You read the entire thread yet? Lots of good input from people.

 

 

Yeah, i just read the entire thread. And what do you mean what's my point? YOU JUST READ MY POINT. What, I cant say what i want to say because somebody else put it another way or something? So what's your point? Oh, because acording to your own survey here above, you are a nice and not confident guy yourself? Or are you the not nice/player wanna be..since you said the nice and confident ones are the rarest.

 

Hey..does my saying this make me not nice? Or are people overly sensitive?

 

But, you want to know my point. My point is, why dont those nice but NOT confident men man up and GET some confidence?? THAT is an issue that can be worked on, unlike whether you are attractive or not. You cant change what God gave you, but if you are getting over looked by women because you lack the confidence to put yourself out there in another way besides being a scared, non verbal mouse, well..sorry.

 

I have a touch of social anxiety. I don't like crowds too much. But, that doesn't help me in meeting people, does it? I consider myself a nice person in a dating relationship. So, using my own affliction, if i were to go out to an event and hide myself in corner and and act all uncomfortable if a man approached me, would it be fair to say men dont like nice women if I got no men trying to get to know me? So, i either work on that or sit in my house all day. I have gotten much better. Thanks for asking.

[You'reasian]

I know plenty of former nice guys that threw in the towel and became bad boys. Myself included, lol. Got to question if they were really that nice to begin with, but anyway.

 

 

Adaptation.

 

I know a gentleman who was single into his mid 40's last I heard - brilliant guy in terms of education, career was awesome and absolutely morally sound/God fearing kind of guy, not boring by any means - but just could not connect because he'd always been a nice guy.

 

I don't think a nice guy becomes a total jerk in one instance - I think he just learns how to assert himself, gradually over a period of time - and since he will clash with the female psyche of "nice guy", refuse to put a woman on a pedestal and put her in her place, he'll get scooped into the jerk pool even though he may be a gentleman otherwise.