Bad boys come first, gay men second, nice guys come last

[Island Girl]

Do we need to separate them, ya think?

 

"Each of you are in time out. I don't care whose fault it is or who started it."

 

Honestly this is exactly the testosterone banter that confuses the male brain.

 

Here's what it comes down to and who is caring about what the women are thinking when there is this male posturing going on.

How often I see, when this happens in public, that the women are forgotten about entirely.

 

Now back to the point - men all have the capabilities of being jerks, players, nice guys, or good guys. It is all about YOU not anyone else.

[Jersey Shortie]

I have not read all of the 11 pages of this thread. But this topic is often brought up by men because the men that complain about the nice guy/bad boy epidemic really don't understand what women are really attracted to. So the men that complain about this rather believe that it's something wrong with women, and that their just such nice guys, then look at what THEY are doing that is causing women to not be attracted. Women aren't attracted to mean men and they aren't going to be attracted to you just because you happen to be nice. I am sorry. As a man, are you attracted to a girl just because she is nice? No. So stop complaining and whining about women not liking you because your "so nice". 1) You are not as nice as you probably think you are. 2). JUST like you as a man need more then a girl to be "nice" to you to be attracted, women need the same thing. 3) Treat women like human beings, dont be fake, don't be overly nice just for the sake of getting laid, don't pander and don't be a jerk, and you will get TONS more respect. Women don't want "nice guys". Yeap. "nice guys", especially self proclaimed ones, are boring. But women don't want bad boys either. They want GOOD MEN.

 

I will repeat, women want a "good man". A good man respects women, honors them, is loyal, treats people well even when no one is looking and can be confident, have leadership skills and make a woman feel alive.

 

I will repeat it again because this topic comes up so much, women want a good man. It's that simple. The sad thing is that sometimes some men are too worried about being bad boys or nice guys that you forget how to be a true honest to god good man.

 

And OP, if you are seriously complaing why club girls don't want to date you? They are girls at a club! The irony is complaining about how girls don't want "nice guys" when you are probably hitting on a certain stereotype of girls that are by nature of being at a club, partiers. I am not saying they aren't nice people but it's not like you are meeting girls at the local coffee shop.

[BobSacamento]

Back from lunch and the gym.

 

Look, Bob wasn't trying to ask a good question, he was trying to get ammo. I smell his BS.

 

But to answer your question. Yes, internal state matters a lot. It actually has more to do with what you're thinking and how you're saying it (voice tonality, volume, pace) than what you're saying. If you don't give a shxt then it takes out the neediness from the voice.

 

To be honest maybe I was acting a bit too ridiculous in my nice guy role. When ever I approached I made sure I was thinking about the girl I liked and pretended it was her, and just hesitating slightly.

 

It's amazing how well women can pick up hesitation and awkwardness.

 

Ammo for what?

 

I have nothing to hide. Your avoidance of questions tends to point in the direction that you do. So that leads me to believe that your a big phony. You want to call that ammo and play the victim, then be my guest.

[Hkizzle]

And OP, if you are seriously complaing why club girls don't want to date you? They are girls at a club! The irony is complaining about how girls don't want "nice guys" when you are probably hitting on a certain stereotype of girls that are by nature of being at a club, partiers. I am not saying they aren't nice people but it's not like you are meeting girls at the local coffee shop.

 

No of course I'm not complaing why club girls don't want to date me. I was complaining why one girl didn't want to date me, lol. I used to date club girls a lot before, just not interested now.

 

You made a good post, unfortunately the type of man you're talking about is a very small minority. It's the same if I was looking for a hot girl with a great personality.

[Hkizzle]

Ammo for what?

 

I have nothing to hide. Your avoidance of questions tends to point in the direction that you do. So that leads me to believe that your a big phony. You want to call that ammo and play the victim, then be my guest.

 

Ammo for what? Maybe ammo like the post above. lol

 

You're not asking questions for debate. You're setting me up for an attack, and it's quite transparent. I got better things to do than deal with that sort of lame attitude.

[BobSacamento]

Ammo for what? Maybe ammo like the post above. lol

 

You're not asking questions for debate. You're setting me up for an attack, and it's quite transparent. I got better things to do than deal with that sort of lame attitude.

 

All I wanted to know is where you were coming from. Background is healthy for debate and nothing to fear.

 

So now you've left me to make assumptions. Those that I did not want to make. You call them attacks because you want to play the role of the victim. Prove me wrong.

[Jersey Shortie]

You made a good post, unfortunately the type of man you're talking about is a very small minority. It's the same if I was looking for a hot girl with a great personality.

 

By the amount of times this subject comes up its clear that those men are not in the minority.

[Hkizzle]

 

I will repeat, women want a "good man". A good man respects women, honors them, is loyal, treats people well even when no one is looking and can be confident, have leadership skills and make a woman feel alive.

 

.

 

The qualities you stated are hard to find in the same individual. Loyal, confident, leadership qualities, makes a woman feel alive.

 

How's that not a minority? If 50% of men cheat then that already removes them from the pool.

 

Out of the remaining 50% I doubt the majority have leadership qualities. Many are probably putting tires on a car at a car plant

[Island Girl]

Out of the remaining 50% I doubt the majority have leadership qualities. Many are probably putting tires on a car at a car plant

 

C'mon HK - a job like that doesn't mean they don't have leadership qualities and can't lead their family or others.

 

They may be the "go to guy" in their group of friends and be leaders in other ways like Little League coaches or mentors.

[Hkizzle]

C'mon HK - a job like that doesn't mean they don't have leadership qualities and can't lead their family or others.

 

They may be the "go to guy" in their group of friends and be leaders in other ways like Little League coaches or mentors.

 

haha, ok I was being mean. But I know where Jersey shortie is coming from. She's refering to leaders amongst the men, and generally they're also leaders in the work place too.

[Island Girl]

haha, ok I was being mean. But I know where Jersey shortie is coming from. She's refering to leaders amongst the men, and generally they're also leaders in the work place too.

 

True - and there are various workplaces and various positions of leadership. That's all I'm saying.

 

Years ago I had a supervisor that was such an admirable man. He had been married for 17 years, adored his wife and children, and was an extremely fair individual - but no push over. He was what any woman would call a "good man".

And he was supervisor in a call center. Good men are everywhere and are in all walks of life.

[Hkizzle]

And he was supervisor in a call center. Good men are everywhere and are in all walks of life.

 

Yeah I agree with you, they can be found in all walks of life. But this man was still a supervisor. It's rare unless a man is young for him to have leadership qualities and still be a follower.

[Jersey Shortie]

The qualities you stated are hard to find in the same individual. Loyal, confident, leadership qualities, makes a woman feel alive.

 

How's that not a minority? If 50% of men cheat then that already removes them from the pool.

 

Out of the remaining 50% I doubt the majority have leadership qualities. Many are probably putting tires on a car at a car plant

 

Oh I thought you meant men that complain about being the nice guy were the minority.

[fatamus]

Hk gets it. Leadership is not working at some 9-5 supervising or whatever. Nothing wrong with that at all, but thats not what leadership is. Think outside the box. Most natural born leaders cant force themselves to work for some other as$hole.

[Island Girl]

Hk gets it. Leadership is not working at some 9-5 supervising or whatever. Nothing wrong with that at all, but thats not what leadership is. Think outside the box. Most natural born leaders cant force themselves to work for some other as$hole.

 

This is about leadership qualities. Lots of men I know have those qualities. They make them attractive - along with confidence in themselves and who they are, pride tempered with humility, compassion, strength, integrity, etc.

 

Not every guy is going to be The Donald. But that doesn't mean he doesn't embody what it takes to be a leader.

 

And not every boss is an a$$ either. Some strong leader type men have no trouble working for a man they respect.

Not every guy is going to be a general - there are a lot of colonels and sergeants, etc. out there that possess those same leadership qualities. That's my point.

 

There is a lot that goes into making a Good Guy who that is attractive to most women. Those leadership qualities make up just one of the pieces necessary.