saddend Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 My husband and I have been married for 17 years. This past March he cheated on me with a coworker. He is this girls boss. We have 3 little girls together. We were having problems in our marriage (his drinking). I was too afraid to bring it up because when I did, he would go off the deep end. Well I guess he felt that me bringing it up was putting him down and he had an affair with this gal. They never slept together and I have proof of that but he did hide the whole thing from me. He even went to "buy" me something and actually met her. She is married with a child. She is a lot prettier than I am and of course skinnier. My husband weighs over 300 lbs and is losing his hair. Not that any of that matters. I love him so much and this whole thing has totally devastated me. When I found out, (I bugged the computer) I went bezerk calling him every name in the book, cursing at him. It was 3:00 in the morning when I finally found out. I took the 3 girls and left. I was sick, literally throwing up. I felt like I was having a heartattack. Long story short, we are back together and he vows never to do anything like that again. It has been VERY good. However, now, I am finding that he is emailing an old crush even though I have told him not to. He says he just needs info from her 'cause they are in the same type of work. But, he just emailed her and asked her what she was doing and called her monkey. He then emailed her and said what r u w...... which I am assuming is "wearing". I know he was joking because she is very happily married herself. He does not know I know. Not sure what to do. I am sick. I have lost 60 pounds over this whole thing. Help, any advice will be great. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 marriage counseling, pronto. To help you communicate more effectively with him, to establish boundaries (for his benefit, and yours), to figure out how to come through this with the marriage intact. my guess is that he doesn't see this as anything "bad" – but counseling will help him recognize what is unhealthy behavior in a marriage. best of luck to you, quank Link to post Share on other sites
WalkInThePark Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 NO marriage counseling. Your H first has to solve his own problems in IC. And he's got a lot of work to do. Link to post Share on other sites
FreezorBurn Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 My wife had a Emotionl affair for a year and it nearly ruined us in one day. Now we are tring to stay togather. Just remember don't be Nieve every now and then take a few steps back and look at what happend. Don't talk yourself into believing a lie. Everything must be exposed as it is in my marriage now. Your About to board the emotional "roller coaster" ,this is a very well documented occurance. I have been on it for 2 months and it is like a living hell for me. *One min you will feel fine and everything is good then the next your in a rage over what happend. The next few months, You will take 3 steps foward and then 2 steps back. Try and not let this destory what you are tring to recover. I am tring to cope and keep our marriage togather for our Kids. I write very very angry letters to her. Sometimes I send them other times I just journal them. Best wishes to you. I hope you get threw it. I am fighting for the emotional power to go on. Link to post Share on other sites
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