Alexis00 Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 This guy that I've known for awhile- we're very close. If you ever heard me talking about him you'd think we were dating. Talk to him all the time, every day. We get in little fights, etc. I generally look forward to talking to him at the end of the day and periodically throughout the day. He finally asked me out to dinner and a movie, apple picking, etc when he comes here in 2 weeks (he is not coming to the area FOR me, solely). The problem is I'm not excited about it. I'm not sure if I'm nervous (which I am), or just really am not interested beyond that of a friend. I really want to give him a chance but the fact that I'm not SUPER eager to go out with him freaks me out. I should mention I am not all that relationship savvy so it may be based completely on nerves. My problem is I'm afraid, as the title suggests, that I only like him because there is a comfortable cushion of a 15 hour drive between us. I'm terrified I only like the attention and like someone liking me, and the little excitement I have about going out with him is just based solely on how it would be if ANYONE had asked me. I haven't had any super serious relationships before and I don't know if I pull away because I'm scared or because I truly do not like him 'in that way.' Oh and to be clear, we were friends, borderline acquaintances, for a few years before he moved away. Is there any way of deciphering this short of going out on the date? I know he really likes me. thank you all so much for reading this. Link to post Share on other sites
jumi Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Well, are you going to stay hidden in your room all day because you're afraid to see him? Of course not. So just go and hang out with him, and try your best not to predetermine how the day is going to go. You're are fearing fear itself. It's not good to overanalyze your emotions... it only complicates things. Just go to have a good time and if you realize that no, you don't think you are in love with him or could fall in love, then at least you *know* and you don't have to guess anymore. Don't worry about feeling nervous... when my boyfriend first asked me out a year ago, I wasn't dancing with joy after... I was really scared that I had gotten myself into something I didn't want to be involved in... but I just went with the flow and things turned out amazing and I am incredibly happy with him now 15 solid months later. Just go for it. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 It sounds like you are afraid of rejection. You have grown attatched to him and his position in your life and you are afraid if he meets you that will all go away. To which, IF it does all go away then it was for the best. It's better to realise there is no chemistry or chance for a relationship between you two NOW early on, then say after a year of getting to know eachother and growing attatched, and realising it won't work. Link to post Share on other sites
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