Trimmer Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 Perhaps if you were bored with hardly any friends in your native country, no one to hang out with (the last you hanged out it was weeks ago), got recently fired from your job, long distance relationship for more than 2 years, your parents arguing (mainly your mother) and you get no more answer from your job resumes along with sometimes inability to keep up a conversation for too long in real life (yes terrible social skills) then you'll see it from my point. I do understand, and empathize with your situation. And I also completely understand how boredom, loneliness, and distance from your partner could lead to all kinds of fantasizing. However, where I draw the dividing line is in what you are doing to relieve the boredom and lonliness. I would not steal others' property to excite myself or relieve my boredom; I would not physically hurt people; I would not emotionally hurt people; I would not even seek out romantic emotional connections with others (regardless of whether I was "serious" or not) if I were in a relationship already. None of these things would make me feel better, and even if I thought one of them might make me feel better, my conscience would step in and say "but, that's wrong." And no amount of my sorry situation: "I'm so bored, I haven't hung out with anyone for a while, etc..." changes that fundamental idea. Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 I do have a conscience else I wouldn't even be questioning. Who do you think you are to putting labels, are you the judge or something? Perhaps if you were bored with hardly any friends in your native country, no one to hang out with (the last you hanged out it was weeks ago), got recently fired from your job, long distance relationship for more than 2 years, your parents arguing (mainly your mother) and you get no more answer from your job resumes along with sometimes inability to keep up a conversation for too long in real life (yes terrible social skills) then you'll see it from my point. It's like you got no life at all. Plus you're dying to go back to where you were raised the most, tired of your native country. And you really think I'm having fun just being on my room, with no job, not helping that much at home, the university is expensive here, and I'm not used to the environment in my country....Don't like it... Point is there's a lot going on through my head.... I'm so bore to the point sometimes, I believe I don't have a life. Maybe you hardly ever get bore in your life. Well good for you. I was pretty much in that exact situation until I met my current partner give or take a few scenarios there. But I still didn't go on line to seek out men to string along cause of my personal crisis or boredom. I'm not trying to bash you samsung maybe its something you want to stop I hope so. I suggest you try to get out more again not meant as a insult but its the only way your going to cure the boredom Hun hope you feel better soon.. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 I wouldn't consider it cheating <answer revised below>. But I do consider it to be cruel to the person being toyed with. Not to mention incredibly immature. I wouldn't be angry with my SO for "cheating" - I'd be angry with my SO for being such an ***hole. Actually - I have to revise my answer a bit after reading further into what it is you're doing. Given the first post, it sounded rather harmless, but in further posts it sounds like you're having cybersex with these men (which doesn't have to include a camera). And yes - that I DO consider cheating. My XH used to have cybersex chats with other women and I find it repulsive and very disrespectful. If I were your SO and found out about it, I'd be done with you. Cheaters don't deserve second chances. I hope your BF finds out what you're doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 I'm not having neither of them. I don't do anything on cam with these guys. It's only the way we write down things that it then proceeds in a sexual manner. When I meant excited, it means that after the chatting ends, I then go on play by myself. nice try. you get hot and bothered online by playing with these guys, and then go masterbate due to the excitement you got from them. face it, whether you want to admit it or not, you are having cybersex with these guys. Or at the very least betraying your bf by having sexual talks with other men that lead to you playing with yourself. you are betraying your bf. if you don't think so, then do these things while your bf is there, see what he thinks. Link to post Share on other sites
loveslife Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 What you describe actually is cybersex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted September 30, 2009 Author Share Posted September 30, 2009 What you describe actually is cybersex.I guess so. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted September 30, 2009 Author Share Posted September 30, 2009 you are betraying your bf. if you don't think so, then do these things while your bf is there, see what he thinks.I think my bf kinda has an idea because one time by phone, I told him I was talking dirty online, if it was ok but maybe he doesn't know the complete version and certainly not the smack talking nor stooding them up or me masturbating afterwards but does know something, which he didn't seem bothered. But this was said more than 3 months ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 I think my bf kinda has an idea because one time by phone, I told him I was talking dirty online, if it was ok but maybe he doesn't know the complete version and certainly not the smack talking nor stooding them up or me masturbating afterwards but does know something, which he didn't seem bothered. But this was said more than 3 months ago. you probably played it off like you were joking around. but I highly doubt he knows you talk dirty with these guys and get aroused by it, then masturbating afterwards. your story seems to change. first it was nothing sexual, you just teasing guys to lead them on. now you are back saying that you actually are getting attention and sexual pleasure from this. so now I don't think you masturbated after. I think you masturbated during. either way, i don't think your bf really understands that you have cybersex with other guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted September 30, 2009 Author Share Posted September 30, 2009 so now I don't think you masturbated after. I think you masturbated during. either way, i don't think your bf really understands that you have cybersex with other guys.It is after not during, thought not always, sometimes I just get so bored and go straight to bed. If he doesn't understand why did he said yes when I asked him and went on asking if he can do the same. I said yes to as well. After that, it was not mentioned again. The point I was trying to make with the story is that after each talk with those guys, I either never showed up online nor chat with them again or me stooding them up. It starts off with me and him introducing ourselves and proceeding later on in a sexual manner. Sometimes it goes on telling them I'll buy the boarding pass when little did they know, they are stood up and never to hear from me again. I would take that as playing around, teasing them mainly. But now I'll focus on other things like finding a job as well as working on moving out of the house. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted September 30, 2009 Author Share Posted September 30, 2009 If I were your SO and found out about it, I'd be done with you. Cheaters don't deserve second chances. I hope your BF finds out what you're doing.Well you're not so knock it off already. I don't need lectures.........Nuff said. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 Well you're not so knock it off already. I don't need lectures. which brings me to the point....what DO you need? what is your purpose for writing this thread? Is it to seek validation for what you are doing? If you don't think you are doing anything wrong, then why ask the question and start this thread? Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted September 30, 2009 Author Share Posted September 30, 2009 which brings me to the point....what DO you need? what is your purpose for writing this thread? Is it to seek validation for what you are doing? If you don't think you are doing anything wrong, then why ask the question and start this thread?Because I wanted to share what was happening within me. I kept wondering why I kept doing those things. There is a point in your life where you're lost and confuse about certain things that you feel you don't even know what you want thus why you start questioning about it. It makes sense now, I haven't been focusing on other important issue rather than just staying on the screen all day. Realize there's a lot of flaming as well as name callings but ok, guess that's the risk when you wondering about something that's annoying you. But already answered myself after finding out it doesn't make me feel any better at all but rather gets me further into my loneliness and boredomness. But it's in that moment, you think you're solving something, when it back to reality and you haven't solved anything. Doesn't mean you have to actually put me a label. So maybe we were not on the same page before, it happens. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Well you're not so knock it off already. I don't need lectures.........Nuff said. Then don't ask questions of such a moral nature on a public board. If you're free to post this ****, I'm free to comment on it. Thanks, though. Link to post Share on other sites
bluestraps Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 My advice is to imediatly stop all the foolin around . Dont hurt other people. If you get married stay married If you didnt want to be with one person you should have stayed single. Start flying right Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Since the intent doesn't seem to be there, IMO cheating; no. Inappropriate; yes. Also seems this person has serious self esteem issues. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted October 3, 2009 Author Share Posted October 3, 2009 Also seems this person has serious self esteem issues.Doubt it, though at times I might feel that beside the teasing men online while I'm not longer into it, there are certain unsolved issues. Partly I can say it's really my parents' fault, about 50% I would say.... Link to post Share on other sites
BobSacamento Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 Doubt it, though at times I might feel that beside the teasing men online while I'm not longer into it, there are certain unsolved issues. Partly I can say it's really my parents' fault, about 50% I would say.... Blaming your parents for lack of personal responsibility will not fly. A child does that. Link to post Share on other sites
Stroon Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 Doubt it, though at times I might feel that beside the teasing men online while I'm not longer into it, there are certain unsolved issues. Partly I can say it's really my parents' fault, about 50% I would say.... oh yes, that MUST be the reason...immature.. the classier side of the world wide web what disturbs me isnt the content of this thread, rather how the OP seemingly brags about doing something we could all easily do if only we had a lapse of morals and simultaniously lost 50 points of our IQ levels. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted October 3, 2009 Author Share Posted October 3, 2009 (edited) what disturbs me isnt the content of this thread, rather how the OP seemingly brags about doing something we could all easily do if only we had a lapse of morals and simultaniously lost 50 points of our IQ levels.So now you're bringing IQ scores into this?? Great, just great, way to way................ What does IQ scores and academics have to do with one's emotions, morals or commitment? You can't compare an apple to a horse... Edited October 3, 2009 by samsungxoxo Link to post Share on other sites
Stroon Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 (edited) So now you're bringing IQ scores into this?? Great, just great, way to way................ What does IQ scores and academics have to do with one's emotions, morals or commitment? You can't compare an apple to a horse... your eloquent post just proving my point nicely. IMO just doesnt seem a particularly intelligent way to be spending your time. Edited October 3, 2009 by Stroon Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 Your SO during your relationship or marriage was exchanging emails or ims with deep written materials in it and actually tells the person they will meet them finally to screw them, that they're single or any other invention. However your SO only does it to make fun of the other person (within themselves they are like ''Boy he/she is an idiot, can't you see I'm only playing with you, I'm in my relationship/marriage). They never wanted to meet them, instead while the person gave them the real address your SO made a fake address as well as fake number (even give them false name if possible). Basically your SO led them with false expectation to tease them....feels absolutely no emotional bond nor feelings for them, they just a complete joke about it... If my partner was doing something THIS boneheaded, he would be out the door. I would think too low of him like "Okay, what kind of person goes online and plays with another person's head to make fun of them?" I don't think I would consider it cheating, just being an idiot and a big enough of one to know it's bad news to stay with him any longer. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 I think my bf kinda has an idea because one time by phone, I told him I was talking dirty online, if it was ok but maybe he doesn't know the complete version and certainly not the smack talking nor stooding them up or me masturbating afterwards but does know something, which he didn't seem bothered. But this was said more than 3 months ago. Oh snap, I didn't realise until after I posted the first time you were talking about something YOU were doing. Okay, yes you are cheating. Yes you are being decietful and betraying your partner.. To reittirate my first point..I would know enough from that kind of behavior that they were bad news to stay with..and you have hit that point home with a vengeance. Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 Blaming your parents for lack of personal responsibility will not fly. A child does that. Ah yes, the "it's everyone else's fault I'm fu#ked up" Outta here, Peace, Link to post Share on other sites
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