Jmina Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Hey LS! So i was with a girl for about a year, and best friends before that, we became friends really quick and fell into a deep relationship even quicker. It was our first love experience. and we broke up after year after talking about marriage and babies and moving out, because neither of us were in the right place or ready to do that... so she felt the only other option was to break up. I wanted to work on it because she was my everything, and she wanted to stay friends after time apart and that she didnt break up with me because she didnt love me, we loved each other more than words could say but it wasn't enough. So we broke up and in the end it got realllllly messy because i couldn't let go, and she was starting to resent me for how i was in the relationship, it just got horrible. Mean things were said back and forth and it took both of us a long time to get over it. Anyway... she had been in contact with my best friend for the past year or so, and when ever they talked she always asked about me and what i was up to. at the same time i had heard from her best friend that she was often rude about me towards others and acted so vocal about her being 'over it' that it seemed clear she wasn't. It got to the point that i really wanted her to be able to just come to me for once and ask me... instead of going through my friend, if not i wanted her to just P.O! So about 2 weeks ago, she was online on facebook and my friend started up a casual convo. of course she asked how i was and my friend said 'you could ask her yourself ' she replid with mmm maybe lol then i turned up at my friends house while this was happening and my ex asked her to say hi for me... this was really a surprise since she had ignored me for 2 years. and that shes rude about me also.. at this point if you havnt figured it out, were both females. She has also apparently become really negative about female relationships and thinks its gross etc. So anyway after i found out she said hi, i went on my friends facebook and pretended to be her until i found a moment where icould just say it was me. it was killing me to not be able to just talk to her for once. so we had again a really surprisingly nice chat. she was interested in what i was up to and had a few things to say about our past, like our dog, and some activites we used to do, she hadnt forgotten about them ..she said twice that it was really good to talk to me and put in lots of faces. the next day we said hi again and had a much shorter convo, and she seemed slightly distant. on the third day she was online then disapeard. i went to her page to find that she had deleted me, my best friend and another mutual friend. i didnt find that to be surprising at all... but i wished she could have at least said 'im sorry but its not right for me, i thought it was but i made a mistake' she is always such a friggen mystery. so ive been pretty okay with her disappearing again.. but it still is a niggle sometimes. we are such big parts of each others past, a lot more than i have said on here... lots of stuff happened while we were together and it ended up breaking us up... sometimes i just wish that one day we could be mates.. i mean when we spoke it was like nothing happened and we clicked again the same way we used to. we both mentioned it. i also heard by her best friend that night that she misses my friendship.. what are your views on it? thoughts? please please give me some of your direction thanks guys Mina Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jmina Posted September 27, 2009 Author Share Posted September 27, 2009 Please? =) Link to post Share on other sites
Leia Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 At first, it was not bad talking to you again but after a while, I think it became too much for her and she wants nothing of it, even as friends. It sucks that she didn't tell you that she couldn't go through with being friends even after two years but you know, some people are wired that way. They think only of themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jmina Posted September 27, 2009 Author Share Posted September 27, 2009 Do you think she will try it again in the future? only to do the same? seems like there is something she cant get over, and it might keep bringing her back but not for a genuine reason, only for her own needs. selfish reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jmina Posted September 27, 2009 Author Share Posted September 27, 2009 ergh makes me feel down/sad when i remember it all, that pain you get at the top of your stomach...i felt that for the first time two years ago, and it still appears now - no where near as intense though! Link to post Share on other sites
Leia Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Do you think she will try it again in the future? only to do the same? seems like there is something she cant get over, and it might keep bringing her back but not for a genuine reason, only for her own needs. selfish reasons. ergh makes me feel down/sad when i remember it all, that pain you get at the top of your stomach...i felt that for the first time two years ago, and it still appears now - no where near as intense though! I don't know. Do you have a backstory? I'm not familiar with your situation, sorry but what I can say is that ... even if she were interested to get back together ... you're going to get hurt again. Most girls like this, they don't really know what they really want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jmina Posted September 28, 2009 Author Share Posted September 28, 2009 Well i don't think she is the slightest bit interested in getting back together but i do... did think she was keen on friendship...the way it shouldve been from the start. Our Backstory... was a very intense passionate caring relationship, but towards the end i became critically sick and so did her nana who was like a mother to her... and she ended up caring for both of us between a 4 hour drive inbetween... so she left when i was feeling a fair bit better, took all her stuff and our puppy said goodbye in the rain and drove off with a beep of the horn... from time she said 'i can't do this', to the moment she drove off spanned about two hours, it was shattering for both of us. she pretty much resents me for it now. i don't know i feel like i shouldn't be talking about it anymore... it's clear she is bad news.. i just wish the connection we have - which we still do, whether we like it or not, i wish that wasn't there. It is such a waste. i don't know what to do, other than what i am already doing. just focusing on my life, what i want to do, be, who i want to be with ... maybe it's just a pain i will have forever, because of how pivotal it was for me, and how much i learnt from it... so much i'm glad it happened... i guess it will always be something i carry with me. At least for some time to come? has anyone else experienced something like this??? please help. Mina x Link to post Share on other sites
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