Now what ?

[Somewhat Healed]

After reading this forum something like 6 months, I became a strong believer of the "be independant and self-confident" attitude. My problem is i'm scare to be too much independant and to loose my girl. To me, line is so thin...

 

So here's my situation :

 

For the prom, I invited that girl who didn't look like a supermodel but she wasn't overweight or anything seriously ugly. My friends laughted a little bit at me and said it was a bad choice. Not a big deal, I learned to not really care about people's opinions of my life because I am not a superficial kind of guy. She still look very cute to me. She accepted and I was happy. I decided to take it cool, maybe too much and in the 2 weeks before the prom we spoke for about 5 minutes maximum! At first, I thought she was pissed off because I was almost ignoring her but the prom went really well. That night (the prom) we started to know each other very well, she was even nicer than I thought. We danced a slow VERY close (it was my first one that close, I don't really have alot of experience). Then came the party of the after-prom, I hated it. We went on our side and didn't talk for the night, I wanted to talk to her but I said to myself : "No, be indepedant and try to show her that you can have fun without her!". That's what I did, I think it worked. In the morning we started to talk again in the front of the fire but I did a couple of things, in independance's name, which I think are errors :

 

- It was cold, she told me but I didn't put my arm on her shoulders to heat her. While she haven't asked me to do so, I think it was a mistake to not do it.

 

- A very stupid drunk guy (who was way older than us) was buggin her, I said in my head "We're not a couple, let's see how she handle thoses situations.". Now I feel guilty because I think I should I have put my fist into his face. But I told to him to jack off somewhere else if he can't control his sexual impulsions and well, that's what he did!!! LOL!

 

- We didn't kiss, I didn't try... Again I wanted to show that i'm far from winned.

 

- Last but not least, the school year is finished and I am scare to not see her again. Right now she lives VERY close to me but she's moving in a more rural area at 20 minutes of my house. The problem is that I have her phone number but if she moves it will change and she doesn't have mine and I don't see any occasions to give it without loosing face.

 

I used to be the boring nice low-confident guy but I don't want to fall in the other extreme!! Help please!

[Sal]

Well I think that you did some stupid things during the prom. It seems as if you were trying to act all macho around her, but girls don't like that. You need to be true to her, and true to yourself. If you like this girl then don't pass up the oppertunitie to call her. What's the worst that could happen? She could diss you, but there are other fish in the sea. As long as you are true to yourself then you will be fine. Call her and be a sweet and honest person. Don't try to be something you're not.

 

[Tony T]

The key to success in life is balance. You have to balance everything in your life, including your love strategies.

 

You will learn good judgement in time. Right now you are rough around the edges. Be patient with yourself. At least your heart is in the right place. Let's hope her phone book is in the right place.

[Somewhat Healed]

Thanks for the advice, I also felt I was macho and didn't like it. There's alot of inexperience involved here...

 

I'm not a really well-rounded person, with me it's always black or white never grey. I promise to work on that.

 

Again, thank you.

[alex]

Take it from a teenage guy. The most important night in a high school girl's life is the prom. She bases EVERYTHING in four years on this night. And even though you didn't mean to, you kinda blew her off. If you really like this girl, ask for her number, and start paying more attention to her. Example, call her, then wait for her to call you back. Then only call her when she calls you for a while. Ask her to something casual and low key, like a movie. I know you'll be tempted to not pay at all, but try. And if she offers, say something charming like, "put your money away, I'm a gentleman tonight." Trust me, you won't sound whipped, and she'll be eating out of your hand. Just call her when you feel comfortable, not when you think it will make you look good.