Ok, now i REALLY need you guys.....

[Lynx331]

well now im just really really confused

[boogieboy]

Lishy shes done this tactic 2 other times when she broke it off with him 2 times.

 

Dont meet with her Lynx, just wait. Her she will stop lying about the pregnancy soon. Keep the text updates coming, she just wants your attention. If she is telling the truth, she would have been at your house by now. Shes not going there. Dont answer her yet. Have patience, watch what she does. Theres no rush, it will be a few more months before she actually has this kid, even shes even pregnant.

[Lynx331]

Lishy shes done this tactic 2 other times when she broke it off with him 2 times.

 

Dont meet with her Lynx, just wait. Her she will stop lying about the pregnancy soon. Keep the text updates coming, she just wants your attention. If she is telling the truth, she would have been at your house by now. Shes not going there. Dont answer her yet. Have patience, watch what she does. Theres no rush, it will be a few more months before she actually has this kid, even shes even pregnant.

 

I really really REALLY hope your right

[anne1]

I have read all the responses and stick to my origional. Meet her and take a test, do not do it with an ultimatum, play her game and tell her that you want to be sure and ' hey i am here to hold your hand'

 

If you tell her to take the test or you would not talk, she might refuse especialy if she is pregnant cos she knows you will break NC when people start telling you she is carrying a bump.

 

She has broken NC and she has you thinking and worrying all the time, you dont know where to turn do you, you are confused and unless you get the answer you want you will continue to be confused for the next 9 months. Get the test done and then you can stop thinking about her and start making plans or moving on.

 

let me tell you I have seen sooooooo many people in contact/custody battles and doing DNA tests .....................poor little bugger (if there is one) wont even have daddy's name on the birth cert cos he was so busy listenting about how to win the game that the game ended without him noticing..........................she is a real person and if she is carrying your child and you want any say in anything to do with it you need to build bridges now. If she isnt you have lost maybe an hour of your time finding out and being nice to her. You win either way

[Lynx331]

I have read all the responses and stick to my origional. Meet her and take a test, do not do it with an ultimatum, play her game and tell her that you want to be sure and ' hey i am here to hold your hand'

 

If you tell her to take the test or you would not talk, she might refuse especialy if she is pregnant cos she knows you will break NC when people start telling you she is carrying a bump.

 

She has broken NC and she has you thinking and worrying all the time, you dont know where to turn do you, you are confused and unless you get the answer you want you will continue to be confused for the next 9 months. Get the test done and then you can stop thinking about her and start making plans or moving on.

 

let me tell you I have seen sooooooo many people in contact/custody battles and doing DNA tests .....................poor little bugger (if there is one) wont even have daddy's name on the birth cert cos he was so busy listenting about how to win the game that the game ended without him noticing..........................she is a real person and if she is carrying your child and you want any say in anything to do with it you need to build bridges now. If she isnt you have lost maybe an hour of your time finding out and being nice to her. You win either way

 

i understand where you are coming from. But if i talk to her... again she wins, because i think this is just a game to see if she can get me to contact her.. and give her the "upper hand" in this little "game" of hers. it will show that i have gave into her manipulation and her games that she has played with me over the last year and a half. So she will be.. winning if i go and see her.. i just am so torn here i could just scream.. i want to do the right thing.. but i am so tired of having my teeth kicked in my head so far that i can chew on my own ear..

[hoping2heal]

i understand where you are coming from. But if i talk to her... again she wins, because i think this is just a game to see if she can get me to contact her.. and give her the "upper hand" in this little "game" of hers. it will show that i have gave into her manipulation and her games that she has played with me over the last year and a half. So she will be.. winning if i go and see her.. i just am so torn here i could just scream.. i want to do the right thing.. but i am so tired of having my teeth kicked in my head so far that i can chew on my own ear..

 

Lynx, there is always the option to take her to the medical center to have the test done. Make sure you hear the results from THEM and NOT her, as you know she cannot be trusted. Tell her you will MEET her there INSIDE. She won't win anything, if she is lying she will just make a bigger fool out of herself. I can see you're going back and forth on this a lot, and she doesn't "Win" anything unless she can convince you to believe her lies; making her VERIFY things so you can go on with your life beyond a shadow of a doubt is not her winning either. It's a lot better than you stressing out thinking "oh god what if I'm wrong?". Yes, I believe with everything she's lying but let's put it this way? You can at least have that lie VERIFIED and VALIDATED and then kick her ass back to the curb; letting her know that the show is over.

[Lynx331]

something just occured to me everyone... She had her period when we went camping. And we split ways the following tuesday when we got back... we had sex ONE time since she had her period, and it was protected.. theres no way... it cant be

[hoping2heal]

Oh Lynx, btw the two other times that she lied about, how did you find out anyway? Did she just confess eventually or what?

[Lynx331]

Oh Lynx, btw the two other times that she lied about, how did you find out anyway? Did she just confess eventually or what?

 

It was a im pregnant text message that i got from her, so i started freaking out, texting her like crazy, then magically she ended up "getting her period", she took pregnancy tests too, which all came up negative. She never admitted to lying before or anything, just said oh hey i got my period.

[Lishy]

something just occured to me everyone... She had her period when we went camping. And we split ways the following tuesday when we got back... we had sex ONE time since she had her period, and it was protected.. theres no way... it cant be

 

ok this changes it! You are most fertile 2 weeks after a period so the chances of her getting pregnant at that time whilst using protection are virtually nil!

 

Keep ignoring her! I am sorry to change my mind but that info gives it all away and if she is pregnant then its unlikely to be yours

 

Ok I have changed my mind, keep up the no contact!

[hoping2heal]

ok this changes it! You are most fertile 2 weeks after a period so the chances of her getting pregnant at that time whilst using protection are virtually nil!

 

Keep ignoring her! I am sorry to change my mind but that info gives it all away and if she is pregnant then its unlikely to be yours

 

Ok I have changed my mind, keep up the no contact!

 

I'm with Lishy all the way. NC all the way. WHEW. BTW I think she meant you are most fertile two weeks before the period? I don't know, but I agree with her and figures@her never admitting to her lying. Pfft. God she's a classic.

[Lynx331]

phew! Well i feel ALOT better now!! Phew! Thank you guys! Sorry i didnt think about that sooner.. was just working on a car and that occured to me.. theres no way now, it cant be, and if she is pregnant and she was sure its mine.. she would have been here already. Maybe she is pregnant and is unsure.. and just trying to pin it on me.. and because shes not sure she wont go past the text, voicemail stage...

[hoping2heal]

phew! Well i feel ALOT better now!! Phew! Thank you guys! Sorry i didnt think about that sooner.. was just working on a car and that occured to me.. theres no way now, it cant be, and if she is pregnant and she was sure its mine.. she would have been here already. Maybe she is pregnant and is unsure.. and just trying to pin it on me.. and because shes not sure she wont go past the text, voicemail stage...

 

Who knows and who cares. You know it isn't you and that's what matters. I really doubt she's even pregnant, judging from the "really? still not saying anything" comment, she just was hoping like the last two times worked to bring EXCELLENT (you said you freaked out and texted her like crazy) results of what she wanted, she just thought she'd do it again. What a relief that must be for you to know that no child of yours will have to grow up being influenced and learning habits and values from her.

[Lynx331]

Who knows and who cares. You know it isn't you and that's what matters. I really doubt she's even pregnant, judging from the "really? still not saying anything" comment, she just was hoping like the last two times worked to bring EXCELLENT (you said you freaked out and texted her like crazy) results of what she wanted, she just thought she'd do it again. What a relief that must be for you to know that no child of yours will have to grow up being influenced and learning habits and values from her.

 

HUGE RELIEF! I cant even begin to describe how big of a relief it is!!! Im actually anxious to see what is going to happen next.. another text.. another call.. nothing? Im curious lol. But i must say after ALL of these and after all of everyones advice, she has jumped started my moving on, i almost feel completely healed.. if that makes sense.. i have no ties left to her at all after seeing her act this way.. and do these things.. it has driven me so far away... and reassured my decision so much. I am so happy about all of this right now. So happy that i am not with her, and i no longer have to deal with any of her drama. i just cant even explain...

[ecm]

I'm with Lishy all the way. NC all the way. WHEW. BTW I think she meant you are most fertile two weeks before the period? I don't know, but I agree with her and figures@her never admitting to her lying. Pfft. God she's a classic.

 

 

Well, if you are on the "normal" 28 day cycles.... it is 2 weeks BEFORE your next period, OR 2 weeks after....

 

She is FULIPPING OUT RIGHT NOW> I love it.

[Lynx331]

Well, if you are on the "normal" 28 day cycles.... it is 2 weeks BEFORE your next period, OR 2 weeks after....

 

She is FULIPPING OUT RIGHT NOW> I love it.

 

Lol you really think shes flipping out?

[ecm]

Lol you really think shes flipping out?

 

100% flipping out. No response drives people NUTS!!!!!!!!! She plays games. Her games are no longer working. She used to be able to toss you out, then reel you back in at her convenience. You aren't falling for it anymore. SO DON'T let her play you. And, I hope you learn from this experience... She really sounds nuts. I kind of want to choke th sh*t out of her for being such a lunatic. Really, the pregnancy thing is the oldest trick in the book. She's pathetic. You are not. I don't care how weak you feel, you better keep your thing in your pants if you are even on the same block as her. It's hard (ha- no pun intended) but if she ever WERE to be pregnant with your child... you'd be stuck with her for the rest of your life...( I wish I could add the Halloween theme song here...)

[quankanne]

lynx, she sounds like a damned drama queen used to yanking your chain whenever she wants because you've given her the power to do so.

 

the suggestion to meet her at a clinic (Planned Parenthood does pregnancy testing, I believe) is the best one I've seen so far – do not take no for an answer, tell her you've made an appointment, that she needs to be there. That if she doesn't show up, you'll know exactly what she's doing, and why.

 

if the test comes back negative, do not get angry, just simply tell her she is no longer a part of your life, to find someone else to torture with her screwed up sense of love.

 

if it comes back positive, tell her to contact you when the child arrives so that you can arrange paternity testing, and that you will act accordingly when the results arrive.

 

my guess is that this is just one big screwy-ass plan to exert control over you because you've responded to this kind of thing before. Put on yer big-boy panties and get control of the situation IMMEDIATELY. Once she figures out you're not going to play her games anymore, you'll be dropped faster than a hot potato because she needs this drama in her life to make it worthwhile.

[Lynx331]

lynx, she sounds like a damned drama queen used to yanking your chain whenever she wants because you've given her the power to do so.

 

the suggestion to meet her at a clinic (Planned Parenthood does pregnancy testing, I believe) is the best one I've seen so far – do not take no for an answer, tell her you've made an appointment, that she needs to be there. That if she doesn't show up, you'll know exactly what she's doing, and why.

 

if the test comes back negative, do not get angry, just simply tell her she is no longer a part of your life, to find someone else to torture with her screwed up sense of love.

 

if it comes back positive, tell her to contact you when the child arrives so that you can arrange paternity testing, and that you will act accordingly when the results arrive.

 

my guess is that this is just one big screwy-ass plan to exert control over you because you've responded to this kind of thing before. Put on yer big-boy panties and get control of the situation IMMEDIATELY. Once she figures out you're not going to play her games anymore, you'll be dropped faster than a hot potato because she needs this drama in her life to make it worthwhile.

 

You make a very good point, but dont you agree that if she was pregnant, she would have handled the situation ALOT differently?? I believe a text or a phone call wouldnt have been the end of it, she would have found me, been at my house, something, or atleast blowing up my phone with texts of omg mike i dont know what to do. im freaking out omg... etc etc.

[js6489]

Anything like this ought to be talked about face to face, thats for sure. True, anything is possible and given the apparent lying that has been taking place its kinda hard to believe. Get the test and see the results for yourself. Its better to know for sure then to go on with it lingering in your mind.

[Lynx331]

Anything like this ought to be talked about face to face, thats for sure. True, anything is possible and given the apparent lying that has been taking place its kinda hard to believe. Get the test and see the results for yourself. Its better to know for sure then to go on with it lingering in your mind.

 

You have a good point.. Im just not to sure how i will go about it.. ill have to think about it..

[hoping2heal]

Lynx I thought you ruled out on account of her last period and protected sex one time after that it isn't even a possibility?

[Lynx331]

Lynx I thought you ruled out on account of her last period and protected sex one time after that it isn't even a possibility?

 

 

I did, still wonder alittle bit tho which I guess is normal

[hoping2heal]

I did, still wonder alittle bit tho which I guess is normal

 

That's true. Well, if you think it would make you feel better to get the test verified and "rule it out" I think you should take care of that as soon as possible. You said you weren't sure about how to go about that. If it's what you feel you need to do I'm not sure what good sitting on LS the next few days debating about it back and forth will do. It seems like you really need this to have it over and done with for you; I think you need to take care of it then.

 

As I said, you'll need to keep this meeting as neutral as possible that's why I suggested meeting her already at the clinic; this puts you in a public place of professionalism and it SHOULD discourage her from wanting to pull the water works chain

 

You stick to strict guidelines i.e I will go with you this one time; if she gives any excuses as to why she can't do it then too bad so sad and you tell her that too and STICK to it.

 

You let the clinic know that you would like to be notified personally via their staff. This gives you two no reason to have to speak to eachother outside of this appointment. In fact you can go there with her, it won't take a real long amount of time and you leave seperately. No giving her rides, etc.

 

This is going to turn into a big three act melodrama if you don't just settle this once and for all. I would suggest doing it as early as tomorrow. I would start the conversation with "are you busy?" if she says no, say good meet me at the clinic, we're going to get a pregnancy test done. She may still oblige knowing she's lying just because it means she will get a chance to see you and she's hoping that gives her a small window of opportunity to sink the hooks back in you. That's why you remain neutral and honest. Don't pretend like you are there to be her pillar of support; you're not. You can say it clear as day ; I just would like to know if this is true or not and being that you have a history of false pregnancies in the past I'm just here to rule that out.

 

Chances are she's not even going to think you'll expect her to buck up like this anyway. She may back out or make excuses and that's when you say okay too bad, so sad.

 

But don't add fuel to the fire by keeping yourself involved in a drama fest like this when shutting it down is as simple as meeting her to verify via medical staff with a medical grade test.

[Lynx331]

Got the latest text message "I've decided I am just going to contact your parents about this since you will not discuss this with me like an adult".