sumdude Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 I moved up my appointment with the L for tomorrow. I'm curious how long does it take for them to write up D papers? Will it have all my requests in it? We will have a talk tomorrow nite, hopefully. The actual Divorce papers are relatively simple depending on the state (or country) you live in. Usually you have to wait 6 months to year before you can get divorced. It's the marital settlement (or separation agreement) that gets complicated but you can do that right now. This deals with money and belongings. Depending on where you live marital assets are any money or belongings gained during the marriage. Marital assets are jointly owned. So if you came into a million bucks during the marriage it's considered joint property regardless of whose name the account is in. Of course if it's your name and she doesn't have access that does protect you to a point but she could have legal rights to half of it. Same goes for debts, in my case I was stuck paying off all the debts we both racked up. Mainly because they were all in my name and it would have cost more legal fees to get money from her (which she had none) than paying off all that we owed. Plus she was ready to file for bankruptcy to protect herself from it. Good thing you're seeing a lawyer sooner than later. Hopefully you might be ahead of the game. Shock and Awe are the best tactics.. Be totally prepared before you spring the paperwork. Sorry you're going through this.. This whole process is difficult. At the same time you're emotionally wrecked you have to deal with the legal system and money. Link to post Share on other sites
Destination Unknown Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 I'm on this site because I feel like my marriage is failing, I'm home alone after another fight, I feel like I can't talk to friends or family and I feel like I am going crazy because all I really want is to talk to my husband and not be angry with each other right now. I stumbled across your posting while looking for some kind of anonymous forum to share my feelings without retribution, and my heart breaks for you. One of the underlying issues in my own relationship is a breach of trust. I don't (or won't) believe that he's ever really cheated on me, but there's been a few shady situation where I know I was lied to....late night phone conversations that were sketchy, flirty emails with co-workers, a supposed golf trip that turned out to be a weekend with the boys somewhere completely different....It is the worst possible feeling I have ever had, a literal pit in the stomach, and my fears were never been so brutally confirmed as yours were. I wish you the very best, and I'm glad this forum exists for people who are suffering to support each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I agree with the others. Having been through it one thing I wish I had done differently was be the one who ended it rather than be dragged behind the bus until she did. Like Mr. 'T'? I pity the fool of a woman that tries and divorce me. It won't be pretty and it won't be fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HDFan Posted October 1, 2009 Author Share Posted October 1, 2009 I just returned from the L and was I surprised at what he said. In Arizona divorces are not contented like other states, such as NY. It does not matter what the spouse does @ cheats, lies...etc. There is no arguement in court about fault...we are a no fault state. But finances are brought into the matter because we're a common law state. We do have the option the settle out ourselves and figure out who gets what or we can deal with the courts and let them figure it out, but the courts will not look or consider her infidelity...sucks ha? So my options are stick it out until she files, wait it out until I'm done with school and then file, or file now. I can't kick her out of the house because of her infidelity, because she is on title. I may have to suck it up for a awhile and keep getting her half of the bill money until I'm done with school and then file. It will be a tough 4-6months. Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 I just returned from the L and was I surprised at what he said. In Arizona divorces are not contented like other states, such as NY. It does not matter what the spouse does @ cheats, lies...etc. There is no arguement in court about fault...we are a no fault state. But finances are brought into the matter because we're a common law state. We do have the option the settle out ourselves and figure out who gets what or we can deal with the courts and let them figure it out, but the courts will not look or consider her infidelity...sucks ha? So my options are stick it out until she files, wait it out until I'm done with school and then file, or file now. I can't kick her out of the house because of her infidelity, because she is on title. I may have to suck it up for a awhile and keep getting her half of the bill money until I'm done with school and then file. It will be a tough 4-6months. 180 time HD. If you're gonna stick around, 180 her azz to death. Learn it, live it. The 180's about you, you healing, you moving forward Link to post Share on other sites
Author HDFan Posted October 4, 2009 Author Share Posted October 4, 2009 180??? I think you're meaning turn things around??? Link to post Share on other sites
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