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Can't fit in my church and am feeling bitter


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I feel like the black sheep in my church. Seems like I'm the only one there who likes to party, goes clubbing, looks sexy, vain, loves suntanning in my bikini. In contrast, my church friends would not even wear sleeveless tops.

 

They get attached within the same church community and lead exemplary family lives. Their kids are well-groomed, go to top schools, musically talented, etc etc. Now, to make matters worse, I'm attached to a non-christian. He's the best boyfriend i've ever had. My three ex-es were all Christians and they were all jerks. So, I guess my current relationship will surely fail because it's not God's will, right? And my life will be ruined because my kids will carry the bloodline curse of a non-christian?

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My husband is religious while I am not. We have a relationship that is the envy of people I know. They are married to others of the same faith but have issues that my husband and I don't.

 

It is your life and you dance to the tune of your own drummer. Just because they made different choices doesn't mean they are happier, or better off in any way.

The flip side is because you make different choices for yourself doesn't mean you are happier or better off.

 

You get one life so live it in a way that you are happy - make choices for yourself that will make you happy - don't worry about anyone else.

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maybe it's time to find a parish that fits your needs – one that's more open and more in line with the values you espouse. Because frankly, the one you're in sounds like their main tenant of worship is Being A Model Christian without really *getting* what it is to be Christian

 

as for having a mixed-faith relationship, think of it in terms of this: You help each other get to heaven by your witness. He's a model boyfriend who treats you with respect, which is making a huge impact on you spiritually. You're the girl with the "religious" background who just make help him have a better understanding of faith, to a point where he's enriched in a way no one else can provide. What anyone else things is superfluous.

 

while my husband purports to be Christian, his behavior leads me to believe otherwise BUT it's also challenging me to live out spiritual values I might not have otherwise thought of living out. And I'm hoping that helps inspire him to be less of a heathen jackass at times :laugh:

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I don't know what denomination you belong to, or if you're open to switching or not, but I've heard that Unitarians are very open-minded,

tolerant, and willing to embrace people from all walks of life without judgement.

 

just a thought.............................................

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But only one person chooses your life, and that is YOU... Don't worry about fitting one's criteria. If you focus too much on that, you'll feel pressured and not happy with your life...

 

If idiots come attacking you stating about how you'll go to hell just say ''Well thank you, I rather go to hell for being myself than going to heaven for someone I'm not''... It's better being hated for who you are than loved for who you aren't...

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I feel like the black sheep in my church. Seems like I'm the only one there who likes to party, goes clubbing, looks sexy, vain, loves suntanning in my bikini. In contrast, my church friends would not even wear sleeveless tops.
You seem like someone who seeks attention.

My guess is you aren't getting the attention you want from your church friends.

They get attached within the same church community and lead exemplary family lives. Their kids are well-groomed, go to top schools, musically talented, etc etc.
I am picking up some envy there.

Now, to make matters worse, I'm attached to a non-christian. He's the best boyfriend i've ever had. My three ex-es were all Christians and they were all jerks.
I am picking up some more resentment here. You tried to imitate your church friends by pairing up with a christian guy, but you failed in each and every attempt.

So, I guess my current relationship will surely fail because it's not God's will, right? And my life will be ruined because my kids will carry the bloodline curse of a non-christian?
I don't think God is in the business of matchmaking. Whether or not your relationship succeeds is dependent on you and your partner. The whole bloodline deal is a Jewish thing, and I believe it is related to the mother's side.

 

 

Overall, you seem envious (just like Homer Simpson was of Ned Flanders) of your church friends. It seems like they haven't treated you with anything other than respect, and they haven't driven you out either. My advice to you is don't take your family for granted. There are many people who can't have children, or are far worse off than you. Congratulate your friends for their success and encourage your children to succeed.

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Four things:

Learn tolerance for differences in lifestyles and choices.

Realize you live amongst varied beliefs and respect that.

stop the vainess- its unattractive (thats where I have real little tolerance for folks- my bad)

Ask yourself- If my actions were written in a newspaper, would it be tabloid news or news of good reputation. Lets hope you chose the latter.

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It doesn't sound like you are very happy with your church. I went through a few churches before I found one that really touched me and brought me closer to god. It DOES make a diffrence! Whatever will make your connection with god stronger, is the best move for you. Why not try diffrent churches in your area?

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