Anxiety

[daydreamerz]

I'm writing here just because I really need an outlet for a lot of the feelings I've been feeling lately and maybe get some advice. for as long as I remember I've been a very anxious person, but lately I've really been noticing it and it's been effecting me a lot. The main cause of my anxiety at the moment is my job. I'm working at a home based service with children who have behavior problems. It is a pretty stressful job in the sense that I am working long hours in my clients' homes and dealing with parents and children who are often disregulated and dealing with emotional and mental health issues. I can understand and accept some anxiety around my job because I feel that's normal, but it's to a point where I'm overly anxious and it's effecting how I do my job. I'm having a really hard time because I'm not confident at all and I feel as though I'm really making no difference in these families lives and then I get myself so psyched out and tell myself this so much that I have a hard time being present when I'm at work. I also become anxious when I'm in the office and dealing with my co-workers because I'm constantly feeling as though they see my as incompetent. I find myself overanaylzing everything I've done at work or what problems I think I'm going to face the next day, that I can't even truly enjoy the time I spend on my off-time.

 

It's not just this job though. I've been anxious like this my whole life and have constantly been trying to figure out how to ease my nerves. I tend to always be very negative towards myself and I never feel like I'm good enough and constantly feel like I'm failing. I can rationally realize that I'm making way too big of a deal out of something, but no matter what I just can't snap out of it. I've thought about going to counseling but I don't have health insurance at the moment. I've even thought about maybe trying anti-depressants/anxiety medication. I think I can get one free counseling session at my grad school, but I'm not sure if one session would really be worth it. Anyone whose had similar anxiety issues and could offer me any advice would be great!

[Dooda]

Daydreamerz, I feel exactly the same way you do.

You're not incompetent, it's your brain telling you that because of what you're feeling. It's the black or white judgement that you're having, and it's all because of anxiety. There's nothing wrong with that.

 

When you said you overanalyze everything, that really got to me, because that is exactly what I do, and that's what really affects me the most. I just can't relax, be myself and have a good time without thinking about anything. I'll always have an anxious thought on my mind and I can't let it go unless there's something really interesting to grip my attention.

The problem is my anxiety has been getting alot worse lately, and I know why but I can't control it.

You're not alone and you should know that being anxious isn't a wrong thing and it's how some people are, and it's how you and I are.

 

You're feeling so inadequate because you're being so hard on yourself. You feel like you can't accomplish what you need to in your mind, and if you see that your efforts don't have a direct effect, it's like you're not doing it right.

 

People don't understand anxiety, because they think it's a normal thing and they don't know that it can literary drive you crazy.

Find ways that can you help to relax. There's a few methods you can use that will help you reduce the anxiety.

 

What I do when I'm really anxious and feeling lost and alone, is I listen to some really relaxing music that will get you out of the mood. There are some great youtube videos that will help you relax and they're totally free. There's a guy named Paul Collier that you can check up. Search "The most relaxing music ever", and then click the first link. He has a whole bunch of songs that will make you feel better.

 

Also, there's a hypnosis video at nmh4.com that should help you if you're willing to be able to trust yourself enough to let yourself go for 35 minutes.

 

Sometimes it's really hard and you think that you should be improving, but it's not that easy because you just lack the motivation to do anything. You think there's no way out and you feel like you're in a deep hole that you keep digging deeper and deeper with your anxiety.

 

Also, there's some methods online that can help you get through this.

There is one method that involves you making a scheduled time for your 'worry'. During that time, you worry about whatever the hell you want, but out of it you just don't. When you have a worry on your mind, note it down on a paper, and tell yourself to think about during the 'worry' time.

During the worry time, go through all your listed worries and try to make your best effort to rationally judge them. Write it down on paper, it'll help get your mind out of your mind, and it will help give some concrete rationality to what you're thinking.

 

When it comes to the meds, I don't know. I took some about a year and a half ago, and they did nothing except make me feel more tired, more drowsy and out of myself. It depends on the meds, though. You can try, but if you feel they're not working, get off them.

If you're in Uni and you're unable to afford counselling, I'm sure they could help you with that and support you in some way.

 

In the end, it's all up to you and your will to get better. I'm still finding mine, but I hope you find yours soon.

[Meaplus3]

High daydreamer. Yes. I have had a horrible time with panic and anxeity. And for me the best route to take was getting myself involved with a therapist would can guide me along to get to the underlying causes of my feelings. Most of my thoughts and feelings have been very irrational. By using congative behavioral therapy, I am now learmimg how to change my thought process and learn that my feelings will pass. This has helped me so much and had allowed me to be able to cope much better on a day to day basis. So, if you can and will, I suggest you try talking to someone. It's worth a try. Please know I can fully relate. I wish you the best. Don't give up.. there is hope and help available. Best wishes.

 

Mea:)

[Cora]

I can kind of understand how you feel. I think I may suffer from anxiety to some extent. I just never really fully understood it. I just remember going to work and being so nervous about any and everything! I could not even perform a simple task for fear of messing it up. I would analyze over and over again how I would do a task and then still fear that it would not be good enough. I remember thinking how easy it seemed for my co-workers to perform these tasks. I figured there was something wrong with me. It came to the point where I could not even sleep at night for worrying over these things and fearing what others must think of me....how I must seem so incompetent to everyone. I swear work was the worst, but it did not stop there.

 

If I had to go to a new place or meet new people I would get so anxious! I would worry and worry about how I would act or what I would say to them. Even simple everyday things like going to the grocery store made me anxious. I got nervous just being around a crowd of people. Even driving to a new place I was not familiar with made me oh so nervous. All I would think about is what if I take a wrong turn? What if I miss my exit? What if? What if? What if? It was terrible!

 

I would never talk about these things with anyone because I figured they would just laugh and think I was crazy or something. Everyone else seemed so normal compared to me and I wished so desperately that I could be as calm as they were. It depressed me because I felt like I couldn't do anything right and therefor was a failure. I feel like this anxiety holds me back on a lot of things. Prevents me from living a full life because of the constant worrying. Which is probably why I have such a hard time getting new jobs and keeping them. People want employees who can do a job, not get so anxious over it that they can't even complete it or do it right and that was me.....the one who could not do anything right.

 

It just helps to know that there are others who go through this as well. I find at least a little bit of comfort in that....knowing that I'm not alone. I hope you do as well and hope you get the help you need. I wish you all the best!