Els Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Oh, IG, I'm so glad you know he's alright! As for the moods, yeah, I swear guys can be far more PMS-y than us women when they've set themselves on being so, and it royally sucks! I know you two can do it though; what is a little sulkiness on his side after all you've been through and the fact that he's alive and well? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Yes, he's acting out with his loved one since he's feeling so stressed. Sometimes, that's a strange way that men tell you they love and trust you, since they can relax and not be on their best behaviour. It's good to hear that he's still doing okay. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Island Girl Posted October 2, 2009 Author Share Posted October 2, 2009 Oh, IG, I'm so glad you know he's alright! As for the moods, yeah, I swear guys can be far more PMS-y than us women when they've set themselves on being so, and it royally sucks! I know you two can do it though; what is a little sulkiness on his side after all you've been through and the fact that he's alive and well? I know you are right. I know he is just sulky and feeling rotten along with being so despondent since last week. I still can NOT excuse his talking to me like that. OOOOoooh it infuriates me. It is not easy to not be ABLE to be there for him when I know he needs me and I get that. Why doesn't HE?? For two years it has been on and off screwed up here and do not -- um - wait. As I am typing this I realize there have been a handful of conversations where I kind of did the same thing. Not to the extent that he is but yes. It IS still worthy of an apology right? I mean it was a nasty horrible day for us. Each conversation was worse. With the last one ending with: Him: Don't Call Me Anymore!! Me: GOT IT!!! *click* Since then he has called probably 4 or 5 times. But I haven't called him back. I am still waaay too angry and if he is still like that -- OMG. It is going to be even more crazy and horrible. That doesn't help either of us and I really can't help biting back right now. I'm simmering. I really would like to be his support right now but I know he is at his dad's and has LOTS of family around him right now. *sigh* Paperwork, stress, distance, TIME, for 6 1/2 years and now THIS is added to the frickin' mix?!! Dayum. I really do not want to deal right now. I just want a vacation from all of it for even a weekend. And then I feel just horrible for feeling like that and not jumping on the phone to be there for him. It is like a push-me-pull-you. I can't get anywhere and I am so overwhelmed I can't breathe when I think about it. I can't handle ANY more. And I am so scared he'll be adding to the mix again... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Island Girl Posted October 2, 2009 Author Share Posted October 2, 2009 Yes, he's acting out with his loved one since he's feeling so stressed. Sometimes, that's a strange way that men tell you they love and trust you, since they can relax and not be on their best behaviour. It's good to hear that he's still doing okay. It is really hard to think of it that way. I do know you are right. You know, he is always known as the stoic one and is always strong and does not show emotion. I get ALL of it. Which is wonderful 99% of the time. But that one percent where he becomes this guy on the other end of the spectrum -- Uh. You must know how hard it is TBF - to reconcile the two of them when one is such a KING - and the other is a horrid monster of a man. Complete polar opposites. Thank GAWD this guy (Mr. Awful) is usually a shut in. I'm sure once I talk to him - as long as he is back to normal - he is going to be apologizing throughout the conversation. That is how he is about doing anything "wrong". But if he has not sat with it long enough...if he is still feeling the same way... I can't even imagine. It could be really bad again. Really bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Oh yes, I totally agree that it's no excuse, I'd be pissed too! But I guess it's all part of being human, to screw things up with your loved ones. I hope you'll try and find the leniency to forgive him for his sulkiness, and I do hope he'll get over it ASAP, too! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 It is really hard to think of it that way. I do know you are right. You know, he is always known as the stoic one and is always strong and does not show emotion. I get ALL of it. Which is wonderful 99% of the time. But that one percent where he becomes this guy on the other end of the spectrum -- Uh. You must know how hard it is TBF - to reconcile the two of them when one is such a KING - and the other is a horrid monster of a man. Complete polar opposites. Thank GAWD this guy (Mr. Awful) is usually a shut in. I'm sure once I talk to him - as long as he is back to normal - he is going to be apologizing throughout the conversation. That is how he is about doing anything "wrong". But if he has not sat with it long enough...if he is still feeling the same way... I can't even imagine. It could be really bad again. Really bad. ((hugs)) Baby. It does suck to be on the receiving end of something you don't deserve. Here's an idea: "Baby, I love you more than anything in the world and want to be there for and with you. Since I can't be there physically, just remember that I'm here for you emotionally. Just tell me what you need, if you can express it. Keep in mind that pushing me away is not an option. Love you." Link to post Share on other sites
Author Island Girl Posted October 3, 2009 Author Share Posted October 3, 2009 Well, we talked. He is still gruff. But not nearly as bad as he was. Moving his stuff yesterday - his phone was broken. So now he has no phone. And the phone company was open today but is expecting the next shipment of phones next week...or the following. The funerals are this next week. There is much to take into consideration. So with all of that -- and more stuff that I don't even want to go into - he won't have a phone. The cousin who in the past has let my husband have his phone (there have been situations like this before) has gone to Australia. Bottom line is he won't have a phone for a while. And he needs someother things from me here so I can't fix the problem right now. He thinks it will be a month maybe two. I have numbers of people near him so if there is an emergency I can get hold of him. And he knows how to get hold of me if there is an emergency. I'll be calling to check on him periodically. It will be limited contact right now. And we have been through this stuff before so it just is what it is. Ugh I just hate this. The brighter side is it was a gentler conversation and he was back in "I Love You" mode. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 IG - I am sorry to read about this. I was gone when this happened. I think I remember seeing something in passing walking by a news channel and you were the first person that came to mind - I was hoping you guys were not affected. The stress does not help. I hope things wind down and the lines of (happy) communication can get back going again. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 So all of them are confirmed dead? How horrible - I can't imagine the devastation they are all feeling over there. He must be in a horrible place right now. (((((IG's H))))) (((((IG))))) Maybe the phones will come in next week instead of the next - fingers crossed! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts