When and how will I stop HATING her...

[Royfinster]

I hate her sooooo much yet I know there is some part of me, whatever is still left in me that loves her else I wouldn't be even writing this.

 

Story: I'm with gf for 2 yrs and 9 months. 2 months ago, found out she cheated on me for 4 complete months.

 

What I did inicially: Broke up with her immediately and call her all sorts of nasty names.

 

What I did next: After all the begging and crying plus calling me repeated number of time, I got back with her. However the conditions was for her to let me have a threesome as well as her either watching it or joining in.

 

Result: She agreed to it but it's not working. I still hate her for what she did. And I want to stop hating her. I'm now thinking of putting pictures of her so everyone can know what a cheating slut she is.

[Royfinster]

These are my options I'm considering.

1) Proceed on putting pictures of her all over the internet so everyone can see what a cheating bitch she is and tell everyone about it even her parents

2) Go after the dude who cheated with her and beat the crap out of him, it might solve it

3) Go NC with her forever but never get to see her suffer like I did when she cheated

4) Break up and tell her ''I hope you get a terminal disease or have a car accident, you stupid whore'', or

5) Break up silently and never return and just hope she gets a man that cheats on her and treats her poorly

 

Even after all those cases when will I ever stopping having this hate, is it ever going to stop?

[tryagaintoday]

Roy, I know you're upset and you have every right to feel this way.

 

But just look at me. My ex-fiancee of 13 years cheated on me for 6 months.

 

I chose option 6.

"Let go and sincerely from the bottom of my heart wish her all the best and happiness she can ever get".

 

I hope you do too so that you can move on as well.

[Boos]

Tryagain's Option 6 is awesome -

 

Also, another option is #7 -

Dump her, forget all about her, go out and have a fantastic life that has nothing to do with her. If you ever run into her again, all you'll have to say is "Oh yeah, I knew her once, she was a total b*tch. Glad that's over with."

 

I wish you all the best, man. Maybe try meditating or praying to help with the anger. You've got to get in a rational frame of mind before you actually make any decisions.

 

Love ~

[mark982]

just man-up. just tell her so long and keep moving on. no need to be posting pics or other crap. you'll both know why you're broke up. just start going out,meeting new people,and having fun. that's the best revenge there is.

[playlislay]

Everyones experience is different. Some choose to stay, others choose to go.

 

I stayed, we continued as normal, all loved up and what have you. But I can tell you one thing- IT F*CKED MY HEAD UP! It left me scared and confused, even 9 months later. HE ruined a good thing, HE couldnt be upfront and honest about where we were at or how he was feeling. Instead HE decided, amongst all of the 'I love yous' and the 'youre the best thing that ever happened to me', that HE would still sleep around whilst I just assumed that he was just as much in love with me as I was with him. IF he would have explained the situation, I could have dealt with it. Instead he chose to break my heart and muck up my head. Yes, he was sorry and I believed him, but I just couldnt trust my beautiful bf anymore. God, I was so in love with that man.

 

Now, and I know I shouldnt be like this, I feel like I cant trust any man. I dont want that to happen to you (with women of course!).

 

You have the control in this and part of me agrees with everyone else-GET RID! Others may opt for the 'working on it' option. But that depends how you can handle it mentally. Try counselling if you really want to make it work, read books on the matter, and most importantly, talk to each other about it.

 

And dont go posting pictures of her!!! I know that you are bitter and extremely hurt. You feel that everyone should know what a sl*g she is, but dont do it. Please. I know she hurt you but that wont solve anything.

 

Good luck hunny

[Skump]

These are my options I'm considering.

1) Proceed on putting pictures of her all over the internet so everyone can see what a cheating bitch she is and tell everyone about it even her parents

2) Go after the dude who cheated with her and beat the crap out of him, it might solve it

3) Go NC with her forever but never get to see her suffer like I did when she cheated

4) Break up and tell her ''I hope you get a terminal disease or have a car accident, you stupid whore'', or

5) Break up silently and never return and just hope she gets a man that cheats on her and treats her poorly

 

Even after all those cases when will I ever stopping having this hate, is it ever going to stop?

 

Option 6) Act like a man. Realize that you're dealing with an extremely juvenile person who isn't worth your love, let alone your hate. Confront her, tell her that she's lost your respect and trust irrevocably, and dump her. This girl has already wasted a lot of your time - don't let her cost you your dignity, too.

 

Hate is a dangerous emotion. It has a way of turning you into what you despise. Although I don't know what you would consider a just resolution to this affair, I'm sure it doesn't end with you as a bitter pauper bankrupted in a protracted defamation suit or petty thug doing two to five in county. Take the high ground my friend. Having to live with herself will be punishment enough for your girlfriend.

[seibert253]

Be a man.

 

Meet her face to face, tell you can no longer trust her therefore it's over and to never contact you again. Wish her well, get up and go. That's the classy way to end things.

 

She'll be beating herself up for a long time for what she threw away, but oh well.

 

There's plenty others out there who will treat you the way you deserve.

 

IMO all the other crap about threesomes, posting pictures, ext., very immature.

[Javelin]

Also, another option is #7 -

Dump her, forget all about her, go out and have a fantastic life that has nothing to do with her. If you ever run into her again, all you'll have to say is "Oh yeah, I knew her once, she was a total b*tch. Glad that's over with."

 

I'll have to agree with this option, because I've done just that these recent months! Funny thing about this one is that today was the first, 'run in' experience I had with my cheating ex-girlfriend and for that brief moment that I was forced to say hi, not 10 seconds later, I was on my way in the other direction.

[Dexter Morgan]

I hate her sooooo much yet I know there is some part of me, whatever is still left in me that loves her else I wouldn't be even writing this.

 

Story: I'm with gf for 2 yrs and 9 months. 2 months ago, found out she cheated on me for 4 complete months.

 

What I did inicially: Broke up with her immediately and call her all sorts of nasty names.

 

What I did next: After all the begging and crying plus calling me repeated number of time, I got back with her. However the conditions was for her to let me have a threesome as well as her either watching it or joining in.

 

Result: She agreed to it but it's not working. I still hate her for what she did. And I want to stop hating her. I'm now thinking of putting pictures of her so everyone can know what a cheating slut she is.

 

if being cheated on hurts, and it was a betrayal to you, why did you want to have a 3some? Why would you lower yourself to a level of hers?

 

You should have not gotten back together with her. I suggest you break it off again and this time DON'T LET HER cry, beg, and sucker you back in.

 

You will never forget her cheating. Therefore, it won't be a good relationship. Best to move on.

 

but I still have to wonder about the 3some. Obviously you wanted to have sex with another woman...so it is ok for you to think about it and actually want it....but when she cheated, it wasn't ok?

 

Point being.....you can't claim any high ground here. You both wanted to bone other people....she just did it first.

[milkmaterial]

ever heard of "living well is the best revenge"?

 

just let nature take its course, let urself heal. dont let hate cloud your eyes and block your way to real happiness.

[Phateless]

Just tell her it's over, in whatever fashion you choose. Then go NO CONTACT permanently. She will be going completely insane when she calls you a bunch of times and you don't answer. At first she'll think she might get you back and then she'll start to panic when she realizes it really is over.

[cdt76]

I've wanted to do the same thing. The hatred and betrayal will be there. I takes a lot of time to get to a point where you can think rationally and without the hate influencing your decisions. If you love her, work on it. If the love is not worth the effort then you need to move on and get her out of your life. My best advice is to never throw away love. If there is love, you can get past her behavior. You can learn to trust again, if you love enough. You have to figure out how much she loves you. That is the bottom line. Do you both love each other to the same degree. If not then it will not work. If your hate consumes you, then you will always hate her but you will hate yourself more if you don't give yourself and the relationship a second chance. All you can do is try. If it fails it fails but you can say you tried.

[Phateless]

I've wanted to do the same thing. The hatred and betrayal will be there. I takes a lot of time to get to a point where you can think rationally and without the hate influencing your decisions. If you love her, work on it. If the love is not worth the effort then you need to move on and get her out of your life. My best advice is to never throw away love. If there is love, you can get past her behavior. You can learn to trust again, if you love enough. You have to figure out how much she loves you. That is the bottom line. Do you both love each other to the same degree. If not then it will not work. If your hate consumes you, then you will always hate her but you will hate yourself more if you don't give yourself and the relationship a second chance. All you can do is try. If it fails it fails but you can say you tried.

 

She cheated on him for 4 months straight. She had another relationship simultaneously.

 

She doesn't even deserve an explanation. OP should just drop off the face of the earth.

[cdt76]

Guess, I missed that 4 months part. She doesn't deserve you. Get her and her cheating a$$ out of your life.

[Jaspe_Loco]

I hate her sooooo much yet I know there is some part of me, whatever is still left in me that loves her else I wouldn't be even writing this.

 

Story: I'm with gf for 2 yrs and 9 months. 2 months ago, found out she cheated on me for 4 complete months.

 

What I did inicially: Broke up with her immediately and call her all sorts of nasty names.

 

What I did next: After all the begging and crying plus calling me repeated number of time, I got back with her. However the conditions was for her to let me have a threesome as well as her either watching it or joining in.

 

Result: She agreed to it but it's not working. I still hate her for what she did. And I want to stop hating her. I'm now thinking of putting pictures of her so everyone can know what a cheating slut she is.

 

 

Trust me, my friend... just move on. My wife cheated on me several times over ten years ago and I've just come to realize how bitter I still am about it. I tried several times to leave her, but was beat over the head by Bible thumpers for harboring unforgivingness. Some people just never get over things like that and I'm one of them. Years of bitterness will eat away at you until you know longer know who you are. It's harsh dude, let it go now.