SophieA Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Good morning all. I have been having an odd feeling related to my LDR and wanted to get your opinions. Those who know my story know my bf and I have been dating for 6 years and have been LD now for about 9 mos. (He's in school in the carib) We are both insanely busy. I work FT and go to school FT. He goes to med school. I've found for the past 3 weeks or so we've been talking less and less and less. A paragraph email 4 or 5 times a week, skyping maybe once a week, 5 or so texts every day. I find myself okay with this. And this scares the crap out of me. Should it? Are we pulling away from each other? Am I just comfortable knowing that he loves me and that we have a week visit planned in 27 days and another for a month in Dec? Am I losing interest in him? Guess I just needed to vent and was wondering if anyone else goes through these periods of waning communication... Thanks all. Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Good morning all. I have been having an odd feeling related to my LDR and wanted to get your opinions. Those who know my story know my bf and I have been dating for 6 years and have been LD now for about 9 mos. (He's in school in the carib) We are both insanely busy. I work FT and go to school FT. He goes to med school. I've found for the past 3 weeks or so we've been talking less and less and less. A paragraph email 4 or 5 times a week, skyping maybe once a week, 5 or so texts every day. I find myself okay with this. And this scares the crap out of me. Should it? Are we pulling away from each other? Am I just comfortable knowing that he loves me and that we have a week visit planned in 27 days and another for a month in Dec? Am I losing interest in him? Guess I just needed to vent and was wondering if anyone else goes through these periods of waning communication... Thanks all. So you are still taking daily, several times? I dont' see the problem at all. You're both busy. If you went days w/o talking, then I'd be concerned. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SophieA Posted October 2, 2009 Author Share Posted October 2, 2009 Yeah we text daily. It's usually good morning, miss you, what'd you eat for dinner, love you, goodnight. Things of that nature. Before his 2nd semester started and my schooling picked up we'd send long emails and make sure to skype 2x a week. Now Skype is down to less than once a week (we've skyped 2x in the past 22ish days) and I guess I'm feeling a little disinterested... Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Yeah we text daily. It's usually good morning, miss you, what'd you eat for dinner, love you, goodnight. Things of that nature. Before his 2nd semester started and my schooling picked up we'd send long emails and make sure to skype 2x a week. Now Skype is down to less than once a week (we've skyped 2x in the past 22ish days) and I guess I'm feeling a little disinterested... I understand. I wouldn't worry. You are both busy and on different time zones or no? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SophieA Posted October 2, 2009 Author Share Posted October 2, 2009 Same time zone. But yes, busy for sure. Thanks for your reassurance though. Maybe I'm over thinking the situation? Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Same time zone. But yes, busy for sure. Thanks for your reassurance though. Maybe I'm over thinking the situation? Yep, but it's natural. At least your can have texts and skype. When my ex moved overseas the cell coverage was awful, lost texts all the time, and the internet would work about once a week. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTofu Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Don't worry about it. I'm sure he has a lot on his plate, and my SO is also in med school, so very busy most of the time. We don't talk all the time, but do what you do similarly. Just keep with the texting and the occasional talks and when he comes back to you, you'll know that the feeling of "pulling away" was just your way of coping with his missing presence. Don't worry! Link to post Share on other sites
JaggedRoad Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Don't let this break your relationship. That's all I have to say. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 If you're fine with this, and so is he, chances are you've nothing to worry about! Gratz, you've finally settled down into the life of an LDR girlfriend. Not too nice, but quite comfy and content once you get used to it! Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 I have had several patterns of communication in my LDR. Daily - then weeks/months where we attempted to talk daily but the phone lines were messed up (it sucked completely) - then daily - then every couple of days because of expense, then daily again, now we don't have a set schedule and a few days can go by without talking. It isn't that we don't want to talk. Because of expense (again) we have a budget of minutes and we know important things we have to discuss will come up and we need to still have minutes to do so. We both know that the other is there and not going anywhere. We have become secure in the relationship that no matter what we are together and will work whatever it is out. The distance is what it is. Phone problems still happen. We get through the distance and time apart by just doing what we have to do until the end of this and we are together here. We don't have to talk all the time to know we have each other - we're secure in it. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs_AJ Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Hiya Sophie, It's natural. As you progress in an LDR you learn to be comfortable talking a little or a lot depending on your schedueles. My SO is also in the Carribean studying medicine. I'm studying medicine in the UK. We have a 5 hour difference, plus it costs quite a bit to call and text. Also carribean medical schools are HARSH! The amount of things they have to learn there in a short amount of space is CRAZY. Furthermore they're not as forgiving as say UK medical schools - if you fail twice in some of their schools over there you could be thrown at. This I have learnt is huge pressure to deal with for my SO although he's a buff nerd! But he has had to say bye to friends of his who were thown out. Right now he has got exam after exam and I have a lot on my plate too. So we havent spoken for say 4 days I think. But we leave offline messages on yahoo and text gd night. Actually that's much less than what you and your BF do. It's okay, you miss each other but sometimes things are just busy busy. Keep a calm head and know that he misses you too (Hugs) Link to post Share on other sites
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