ahsumgurl909 Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 I am living with my Sister right now and her husband and daughter a 14 year old Beautiful girl. (until she opens her mouth to talk to anyone) I love her very much and I am very concerned. When taking a bath she uses a whole bottle of body wash and shampoo and is in there for who knows how long. She spits her toothpaste onto the towels instead of in the sink. She orders my Sister around like I don't know but for example: Every morning my sister has to do her hair and she always says "Don't do it like that!" "What are you stupid?" "Hurry Up!" then my sister put on her make-up for her the whole time my niece is talking crap. Yesterday was a family members b-day so my sister kept her home from school so she could go with her to work. She works in Costa Mesa. Just so she could say happy birthday to the kid. Well her dad & mom own a business so of course dad was going with. She says to her dad "Can you stay home cause I just want to go with my mom?" He was like "Oh well I have a business to run." She kept trying to convince my sister to make him stay home. And was really crappy about it. There is f you being said and things being thrown. What is your opinion about this? Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetcheripie Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 It must be so difficult to watch but my best advice is to not say anything. You are a guest in your sister's home and she is spoiling her daughter but this is nothing new - she has been doing it for 14 years and anything you say right now will probably not be taken well. After you move out, you might invite your sister to lunch and mention some of your observations in a loving way. If you have suggestions you could give them. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 What SCP said- hard for you to observe without stepping in, but she is their daughter and their problem. She does sound awful, but then again lots of awful 14 yr old girls come right in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Athena Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 Family don't like other family members to criticize their kids... so don't do it. It's not something they NEED to be told about... and don't forget, they are the ones who parented her, so they are reaping what they have sown... esp your sister being told off while she does the hair and make up! Anyway, it's not a pretty sight, but it's not the end of the world... I'd not comment to the parents... I might comment to the niece herself, though... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahsumgurl909 Posted October 4, 2009 Author Share Posted October 4, 2009 It is so bad you guys you don't even know. My sister goes as far as putting her pad on her and taking it off. that to me is totally disgusting. There is something wrong with that:eek: Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 By pad do you mean of the sanitary variety? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahsumgurl909 Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 Now tell that isnt just plain Whacked:sick: Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetcheripie Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Now tell that isnt just plain Whacked:sick: That is absolutely just plain whacked!:sick::sick: Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 That is whacked. I think the kind of help they need is beyond what you can give TBH. Link to post Share on other sites
SilverChrome Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Wtf. Is the 14 year old incapable of doing that on her own or is her mother spoils her way too much? That is ... so whacked! Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 I am living with my Sister right now and her husband and daughter a 14 year old Beautiful girl. (until she opens her mouth to talk to anyone) I love her very much and I am very concerned. When taking a bath she uses a whole bottle of body wash and shampoo and is in there for who knows how long. She spits her toothpaste onto the towels instead of in the sink. She orders my Sister around like I don't know but for example: Every morning my sister has to do her hair and she always says "Don't do it like that!" "What are you stupid?" "Hurry Up!" then my sister put on her make-up for her the whole time my niece is talking crap. Yesterday was a family members b-day so my sister kept her home from school so she could go with her to work. She works in Costa Mesa. Just so she could say happy birthday to the kid. Well her dad & mom own a business so of course dad was going with. She says to her dad "Can you stay home cause I just want to go with my mom?" He was like "Oh well I have a business to run." She kept trying to convince my sister to make him stay home. And was really crappy about it. There is f you being said and things being thrown. What is your opinion about this? I see this all the time! Sickening isn't it? I'm glad I don't have kids. I would hope if I did I would raise them better than to talk to me that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Their house, their lifestyle, their family, their choices. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahsumgurl909 Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 And the reason I am posting here about it is because. I stay out of their business. But I stress over what is going to be like for my niece in the future my sister had her at a very old age of shes 56 now minus 14 equals 42. So if anything should happen to my sister (God Forbid) what is this WOMAN almost going to do. Her behavior and the way she dresses and speaks is unbelievable. I love my sister & my niece but this is unhealthy and abnormal. This morning my sister said something about a way of wearing leggings under dresses in the winter and she said I would never do that. And my sister said its classy. And My niece said "I would never want to be classy!" "What does that mean to be classy?" I almost fell out of my chair. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 You are stressed about this because your sister is only 56 and you are worried that something will happen to her before your 14 year old niece is out on her own and living outside of the house? Um, 56 isn't that "old". I suspect she has time enough to raise her daughter as SHE sees fit. Honestly, it sounds like it might be time for you to find a place of your own? Possibly you are too close to the situation? Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen12 Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 You need to spank her. Link to post Share on other sites
kimbop Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 I think I saw this in a episode of Maury or was it Jerry Springer. Anyway, you really can't criticize your sister's bizarre parenting. Yes it's reprehensible and your niece needs her spoiled a** to spend a week in bootcamp (saw it on Montel), but you live there. However that being said, if your niece ever disrespects you, you don't need to take that. Be aware that your sister may take her side (which sounds like it would happen) and put you out though. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 I remember when I used to talk back against my elders, I got spanked... but then again I grew up in a strict household. Your niece is probably going to get diagnosed with some kind of self serving disorder later on, and if not I pray that she will mature later on in life. I think you should have a talk with your sister and ask her where her dignity went. Afterall, she did raise the kid. We may have different cultures, but spoiling a kid down the road is only going to make things worse later on. Link to post Share on other sites
e.clipse Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Their house, their lifestyle, their family, their choices. this is the problem with most American families and the fundamental reason why so many American kids are undeserving, spoiled brats like the OP's niece. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahsumgurl909 Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 I think these type of kids end up killers or molester or weirdos? And it isnt their fault. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 this is the problem with most American families and the fundamental reason why so many American kids are undeserving, spoiled brats like the OP's niece. You are close to being entirely wrong. I know many many families, and in nearly every family, the kids are basically great kids. But they don't have family members come to live with them and then complain about how the family unit functions. If I choose to remove my child's bedroom door as punishment for their smoking in their room - that is my choice, my house, my kid. If my SIL doesn't like it, then she can move out. If I choose to let my son play video games for 3 hours on weekends, then that is my choice, my child, my family. If my SIL doesn't like it, then she can move out. If I choose to raise my child in a vegan atmosphere and my mother-in-law doesn't like it - then tough. She already raised her kids; she can have some more, if she feels the need to parent again. If I choose to let my kids see me naked until they are 6 or 7 or so, then that is my choice, my kids, my house. Who's to say that a fear of nakedness is healthier than a realization that each one of us has a naked body under our clothes that all perform the same basic functions? My bst friend's mom knelt on the floor in front of my friend sitting on the toilet, and showed her how to insert a tampon; my friend was 18 and simply could NOT get one in. Was that weird for them? No. Was it weird for me? Yes. But it worked for them, they were as close as they could be, they are deeply grounded and healthy individuals with a loving relationship with healthy boundaries and lack of fear of communication. The percentage of children who grow up to be serial killers is pretty daggone low in the general population, and it takes a lot more to be a serial killer than talking back to your parents or letting your mom help you with sanitary issues. If you are THAT concerned with the well-being of your neice, then contact social services in your area and report your sister for child abuse/neglect. Put your money where your mouth is - or would that mess up your free living arrangements? Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 I've admitted on this forum before, that I did everything for my D, who at the time wasn't a complete spoiled brat. I absolutely loved taking care of her and threw myself wholeheartedly into parenting her. By 4th grade I was amazed to hear that some of her friends actually woke up themselves to alarms, dressed, fixed their breakfast, packed a lunch and woke their parents up to drive them to school. I still think that's young but at the time I considered it child abuse. I did her hair, helped with homework dressing, ect... for way too long. My next child was 9 years later, and he has had repsonsibilities throughout. He has chores (she didn't know what one was) no allowance if he doesn't fullfill his obligations without being hounded. He is capable of fixing a 4 course meal, but she never could because I did everything for her. He's 12. I imagine your sister has figured out or will shortly that she isn't helping her. Its easy to "love a kid too much". I learned, from experience that loving a child means to let them fail on their own, so that they can learn from their mistakes. I did not have what it took to let my daughter fail and learn on her own. They don't come with handbooks. Now I will tell you that had she talked to me like that, or anyone else, she would have been visiting next week. BUT... young teens... especially girls turn into little monsters for a few years while their hormones get straightened out. Its not abnormal for them to act like spoiled brats. I think that if an oportunity arises that you could talk to your sister without saying anything negative, that you might be able to mention that maybe your neice needs to be taught some responsibility slowly so that she will be a functional adult or able to handle things on her own at college. I had to pull back from my daughter all together about 16 maybe... you're on your own. She's capable of doing anything in the world herself, but she'ld rather me do the not so fun stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
taco1o94 Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 well i have a sister to and i know how its is. Your niece is going thow a face and every teenager dose i no its hard but it will soon stop let to what she wsnt and then she will get tired tell her to do her own stuff let her thow fits she will soon stop with this i now it hard but she getting older and going thow pupertie so dont worry Link to post Share on other sites
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