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swedishfish

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  • 2 weeks later...
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.....its funny and sad how people in my life don't get me.

I was a very outgoing and popular teen. I think because of several events in my life as an adult I have become a loner. I am very introverted and very happy to be alone with my thoughts. I need time alone after i am in a social situation. What i really crave is a few best friends. I was pretty wild in my late teens and early, early 20's....and very carefree. Which was a defense mechanism or a facade because life at home was terrible...alcoholic, abusive father and a mom who have no life and lived her life thru mine...ex( talked to my friends on the phone when they called for so long...that they would conspire and my friends would call back so i wouldnt get mad, many other things). OH YA and i am an only child. it sucked.

Present day: i feel like my old friends from 20-30 years...treat me like i was in my early wild years. Some are just flat out condescending to me, and where some people would be considered funny, people tell me i'm weird. Or i catch up with people and we talk and they say ,let''s keep in touch and they never call back.

As a person I'm funny, intelligent, caring, overly responsible, kind, i dont confront my stronger personality friends --even though i am right most of the time.

ISSUE: People are making me feel very alone....with every rejection, put-down...i realize that i am becoming more and more isolated.

Yes i am in counseling

please offer me any feedback...please

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You are the only person who can take care of you.

 

Being a child from a family that had issues, you might not have a good sense of normal boundaries...so counseling can help you with that.

 

If you were a substance user (or abuser) and have since toned down your partying, the people from your past may not be a good fit with the person you have become.

 

Stop looking backward...start looking inward and outward. Look at yourself, what do you really like to do? Do it. Enjoy doing it alone, then if you meet other people who enjoy that too it will be an added benefit! Make new friends.

 

But keep the old ones as you can. Talk to your counselor about this. Work with your counselor to decipher why what you think is funny, your old friends find wierd. You and your counselor will have to consider how to set reasonable expectations and boundaries with these people, and with your parents.

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.....its funny and sad how people in my life don't get me.

I was a very outgoing and popular teen. I think because of several events in my life as an adult I have become a loner. I am very introverted and very happy to be alone with my thoughts. I need time alone after i am in a social situation. What i really crave is a few best friends. I was pretty wild in my late teens and early, early 20's....and very carefree. Which was a defense mechanism or a facade because life at home was terrible...alcoholic, abusive father and a mom who have no life and lived her life thru mine...ex( talked to my friends on the phone when they called for so long...that they would conspire and my friends would call back so i wouldnt get mad, many other things). OH YA and i am an only child. it sucked.

Present day: i feel like my old friends from 20-30 years...treat me like i was in my early wild years. Some are just flat out condescending to me, and where some people would be considered funny, people tell me i'm weird. Or i catch up with people and we talk and they say ,let''s keep in touch and they never call back.

As a person I'm funny, intelligent, caring, overly responsible, kind, i dont confront my stronger personality friends --even though i am right most of the time.

ISSUE: People are making me feel very alone....with every rejection, put-down...i realize that i am becoming more and more isolated.

Yes i am in counseling

please offer me any feedback...please

 

Before I can offer any advice or comments, I have two questions:

 

1) How old are you?

 

2) What do you do for a living?

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Hey Swedish,

 

So, you're saying that everyone around you, make you feel like there's something wrong with you? You feel like they don't understand you. Constantly put you down and are ungrateful?

 

Absence of meaningful people around me causes my loneliness, especially when they belittle or mock what i say. But here's the difference between you and me: I don’t take their rejection to heart!

 

In fact i often view it as a flaw on the other person’s behalf as opposed to feeling bad about myself. In other words, i just think it’s their loss. I also found out that when i challenge my friends about something i don't like (with reason of course and certainly don't force my opinion on them), they will respect me for it, even when they don't always agree.

 

My advice is, don’t let your own feelings of self-worth be governed by other people. Find and hang out more with people that make you feel good.

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First off I think your very brave. It takes alot to be comfortable with yourself. Not too many people can handle being on their own and will find whatever company they can. My personality is just like yours. Your someone that needs to take everything in and a times are a little wary of people. I am glad your getting help and reaching out to people here is a good thing. You can alway create a post whenever you need to talk.

Take care

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  • 2 weeks later...
First off I think your very brave. It takes alot to be comfortable with yourself. Not too many people can handle being on their own and will find whatever company they can. My personality is just like yours. Your someone that needs to take everything in and a times are a little wary of people. I am glad your getting help and reaching out to people here is a good thing. You can alway create a post whenever you need to talk.

Take care

 

that was really nice honeypear :)

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