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Hey everyone

 

I am sitting here at 4:45am wondering if i am doing the right thing or not...

 

You see my body clock is (and most of my life) has been out of wack. Although there have been short occasions where i have had to get up early consecutively and i adapted to it wonderfully. The difference was i was waking up to something i loved. When that was over i slipped back into my old habits.

 

my work would start in the afternoon and finish around 8:30pm which was easy for me to sleep in... (and sleep in i do till about midday or even later)

 

I really enjoy night time and i can get a lot done whilst everybody else has nodded off... but i also dearly miss the start of the day and everything i could enjoy and get done in that time.

 

My problem is i want to be awake ALL the time. I would if i could. I would stay awake all night if i wasn't worried about the lack of sleep deprivation! the problem is staying up all hours of the night watching movies, writing, reading, choreographing/dancing, dreaming and planning, feeling - crying, thinking, whatever i always leave to night.

 

I also feel i have a problem living with my parents. I tend to hide away when they are here... i will wait till they are gone before i get up or i wait till they are in bed before i 'am myself'

 

i find it hard to show them my adult self.. in some ways i can but from day to day i find myself resenting them for things i should not. Like... hiding from them.

 

My earliest memory of sleeping problems dates back to when i was in primary school. I used to sneak out of bed and get food, or sit under the dining room table and get a glimpse of the late night movie my parents were watching... i would avoid sleep right through to high school and here and behold. I still do it now.

 

 

I used to be afraid of night mares, to energetic for sleep, i just want to be awake, however i find it almost impossible to get up at a good hour. I don't want to, i go back into that hide mode.

 

Now i feel it is limiting me in what i dream of. I can't move forward in life, make a difference if i am sleeping late in the day which is the opposite of what i want!

 

So tonight i decided to wake up at 8am no matter what and just get up. The problem is i highly doubt i will do this... i will sleep talk myself out of it. I don't have anything to get up for... so i won't.

 

So in avoidance of this i secondly decided to just pull an all nighter.

 

I hope it works. I want to see the morning. I don't want to hide anymore!!!!!

 

Any help would be really appreciated!!!!

 

Jmina

 

p.s - the getting to sleep isn't so much a problem.. because basically i choose not to sleep, or the sleeping in makes it hard to fall asleep that night. What i don't know how to do is wake up! maybe all i need is encouragement..

 

another perspective or another voice to nudge me a long.

 

thankyou for reading

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Sweetcheripie

Things to do to make waking up easier -

 

Do you like coffee? Buy a coffee maker that you can set to go off about 15 minutes before you want to wake up. The aroma is great to help you wake up.

 

Try to make a routine - go to bed around the same time and then wake up at the same time. Most people find it really necessary to get good sleep - it is not healthy to pull all nighters frequently.

 

Are you ready to move out of your parents home? Wanting to hide until they are gone doesn't sound great. I realize it is hard with the transition relationship but it is probably hard for them too. If you can't move out - try to explore why you want to hide from them.

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Oh my god i've almost done it. I stayed up alllll night, went to dance company, drove back, had to pull over to take a moment so i wouldnt fall asleep driving, I was singing, had windows down, air con on, was slapping myself in the face, blowing raspberries - the lot

 

I've fallen asleep momentarily sitting up twice since i've been home! its now 7:20pm i just have over 2 n half hours before i can sleep. MUST STAY AWAKE! I want to just go to sleep now, but i know i'll wake up around midnight - 1 oclock thinking ive slept enough so im just gonna try 10:00pm

 

 

thankyou sweetcheripie ill reply when i'm not so tired!!

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  • 2 weeks later...
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It worked!!! =D

 

 

I now have a good sleeping pattern! I make sure i get up around the same time. I have to admitt that it is easier and i am more motivated to get up because i have enrolled myself into ballet training - hopefully i will be doing full time dance soon and that will ensure i am well tired out during the day to sleep peacefully at night!

 

=)

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