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Trying to harden my heart


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I know most people think that being a kind and giving is a good thing. I most cases I would agree. However, lately being giving of myself has been causing me more and more problems. I need to find a balance but no matter what someone does to me I can't help but try and see the good. Recently I have had a falling out with a friend with which we shared mutual friends. I felt I was being nice in trying to preserve our companionship but at the same time holding back a lot of anger toward the other person because I felt it was undeserved. Because I didn’t sugar coat what was going on and acknowledging my own fault I am now barely friends with our mutual friends. I get the impression from some people that they misread my kindness as a way of gaining leverage, maybe because that is what they do. The worst part is no matter how many times someone walks over me I am still there to help them. I have started to stand up for myself a little more and it has turned away so many of my “friends” that I find myself even lonelier and more willing to give more of myself than I can afford. Where is the balance between showing others that you care and not allowing them to use you.

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