Who else here needs A LOT of alone time?

[pandagirl]

I am going a little bonkers because I've had an abnormally social/busy week/weekend.

 

I usually work from home by myself, which means I usually get PLENTY of alone time. But I've been working on a project in an office setting from 9-5 for the past two weeks, plus after work socializing, plus very busy weekends.

 

I need a lot of alone time to feel centered and calm. If I don't get it, I end up feeling really anxious.

 

Is anyone else like this? Is this why I'm single? haha.

[Angel1111]

I require a lot of alone time, too. I think it's why I'm hesitant to get involved with anyone right now. I've always been in a relationship since my teens and I think it's time I just wallowed in this alone time for now. It seems that more alone I am, the more I need and enjoy it.

 

It seems that if I'm around people too much, I feel uncentered, so yeah, I understand how you feel. I don't know if I'm a good candidate for a relationship anymore or not. Maybe I should've just stuck with MM because it was the only relationship that gave me my space.

[northstar1]

I am going a little bonkers because I've had an abnormally social/busy week/weekend.

 

I usually work from home by myself, which means I usually get PLENTY of alone time. But I've been working on a project in an office setting from 9-5 for the past two weeks, plus after work socializing, plus very busy weekends.

 

I need a lot of alone time to feel centered and calm. If I don't get it, I end up feeling really anxious.

 

Is anyone else like this? Is this why I'm single? haha.

 

Nope, it just means you lean towards being introverted and need alone time to recharge after being around people. Totally normal

[hoping2heal]

I am going a little bonkers because I've had an abnormally social/busy week/weekend.

 

I usually work from home by myself, which means I usually get PLENTY of alone time. But I've been working on a project in an office setting from 9-5 for the past two weeks, plus after work socializing, plus very busy weekends.

 

I need a lot of alone time to feel centered and calm. If I don't get it, I end up feeling really anxious.

 

Is anyone else like this? Is this why I'm single? haha.

 

Oh I'm the same way completely. I mean I like doing social things and all but I need more alone time than "people time". I also end up feeling really anxious and overwhelmed if say..for an entire weekend I've been busy with people around me etc. People poop me out lol. I've been this way since I was a kid though, I liked to have my cats around and I'd go outside "exploring" for hours, I liked playing with other kids too, just liked the former more often.

[allina]

I don't know if it's considered a lot, but I absolutely need alone time, especially alone down time. I'm a fairly social person but I really enjoy hanging out at home alone or just doing things on my own.

 

When my fiance goes out with his friends like to just watch some tv alone or mess around on LS. I absolutely cherish him but I like that me time.

[pandagirl]

Yeah, it's just like I have an emotional and physical reaction if I don't get enough alone time... I get so agitated! My mind can't function.

 

Is this how extroverts feel when they are alone for too long? I wonder...

[Pedigree]

It's not so much wanting alone time as it is wanting some "do nothing" time for me. If I've had a busy week with uni assignments being do, taking care of car insurance, going to two job interviews, taking care of changes to bank account, taking my grandma to the doctor etc. the last thing I need is my friends calling you and asking "Wanna go out?"

 

It's not that I want to be alone. I just want to do nothing (aside from going to the toilet, having a meal, and watching dvds on the laptop) for that day.

[The Collector]

I need a lot of alone time. About 80%.

[marlena]

I need a lot of alone time to feel centered and calm. If I don't get it, I end up feeling really anxious.

 

Is anyone else like this? Is this why I'm single? haha.

 

This is exactly how I feel too. So, yes, I need a lot of alone time and get very frustrated when people/friends constantlymake impossible demands on my time. Problem is few people understand this part of me. They think that I withdraw because I am depressed, which I most definitely am not. I like spending time alone and like you said, it gives me balance and a sense of serenity which is vital to my well-being and happiness. It also releases whatever creativity I have inside of me.

 

And, yes, this may very well be the reason why I never remarried. Either that or the right person just never came along.

[fireftrjef]

I got to have my alone time too. I think part of it is my line of work where I have to deal with people all the time, sometimes whiny ones at 3am. So it allows me to recharge my psyche.

[northstar1]

Yeah, it's just like I have an emotional and physical reaction if I don't get enough alone time... I get so agitated! My mind can't function.

 

Is this how extroverts feel when they are alone for too long? I wonder...

 

Introverts are charged by internal thoughts/processes etc. Extroverts are charged by being around people and interacting.

For introverts being in a social situation for too long (ie. a 3 day conference, or a weekend of seeing people) drains you and you need time to recharge.

 

The confusion comes when people equate introverts with 'shyness', but they are not the same and can be mutually exclusive.

Introverts are fine chatting with people, or doing a presentation etc. But spending 4 hours mingling at a party making small talk usually is exhausting.

 

At least for me! After a work conference, or a weekend at a cottage with people, I need a few days of being alone

[forever_waiting]

it's not strange at all. being around a lot of people takes it's toll on me very quickly, so if i don't get a certain amount of time just to be alone and gather my mind, i feel like boiling over. i've been known to get really grumpy if i'm around people for too long so i have to retreat before i snap someone's head off. when i was younger my family would call it 'one of my moody days' when i just wouldn't talk to anyone. now that i live alone i'm much more relaxed, but when we do things like holidays where i'm constantly surrounded by them, by the end of about day 3 i will NEED some space so badly that they just know to leave me alone for a while, no questions asked. they can sense when i'm getting near the edge.

Edited October 5, 2009 by forever_waiting

[pandagirl]

Good to know I'm not the only one!

 

In college, when I had roommates, they would ask me why I always spent so much time in my room with the door closed shut. They would say, "Come hang out with us! We're bored!" Meanwhile, I'd be happy as a clam by myself, listening to music or reading.

 

It's true, I'm an introvert, but I'm not necessarily shy. But I do shy away from situations that I know will make me uncomfortable, like crowded places or parties where I don't know anyone.

 

While, I don't think I could date an extremely extroverted person, I'd rather date a moderate extrovert than someone similar to me.

[carhill]

Is your desire for your 'space' affecting your ability to form healthy interpersonal relationships? Good question to ask.

 

I enjoy my alone time too and live where I don't have to see humans for days on end. That said, I'm equally comfortable in a hectic urban environment with many people around. Mental tricks I learned to mitigate over-stimulation help block out the extraneous 'noise' of other people and also to calm my emotional state. One simple one is to consciously slow my flow of thoughts down and block out sensory stimulus, like loud noises or bright lights. Another lifestyle choice is choosing not to live in an environment which is stressful and always knowing I have my 'place' to go home to and processing that thought pattern whenever in stressful/overstimulated situations.

 

IMO, it's really about knowing yourself, your psyche, your strengths and weaknesses and working with that information to find the healthiest balance. Being in control of your own psyche; your own perspective, regardless of outside influences.

[pandagirl]

Is your desire for your 'space' affecting your ability to form healthy interpersonal relationships? Good question to ask.

 

I enjoy my alone time too and live where I don't have to see humans for days on end. That said, I'm equally comfortable in a hectic urban environment with many people around. Mental tricks I learned to mitigate over-stimulation help block out the extraneous 'noise' of other people and also to calm my emotional state. One simple one is to consciously slow my flow of thoughts down and block out sensory stimulus, like loud noises or bright lights. Another lifestyle choice is choosing not to live in an environment which is stressful and always knowing I have my 'place' to go home to and processing that thought pattern whenever in stressful/overstimulated situations.

 

IMO, it's really about knowing yourself, your psyche, your strengths and weaknesses and working with that information to find the healthiest balance. Being in control of your own psyche; your own perspective, regardless of outside influences.

 

I have very healthy friendships -- great ones. Romantic ones, not so much, but I don't think being an introvert has anything to do with it. Maybe?

 

Ironically, I live in perhaps the worst place for an introvert: NYC. haha. I live in brooklyn, which is more peaceful, but still very busy. As I write this, I am sitting in a cafe with people all around me, traffic noise and sirens from the occasional police car (I HATE LOUD NOISES).

 

But soon I will go home, relax and recharge. Looking forward to it.

[carhill]

Here's a good delineation. Is it the environment which stresses you or is it your interaction with individuals? IOW, say you're sitting at that cafe table and having an intense discussion on a topic of interest with another person. Does the noise and activity around you bother you more or less? Does that intense interaction stress you out?

[pandagirl]

Here's a good delineation. Is it the environment which stresses you or is it your interaction with individuals? IOW, say you're sitting at that cafe table and having an intense discussion on a topic of interest with another person. Does the noise and activity around you bother you more or less? Does that intense interaction stress you out?

 

It's more my interaction with individuals that exhausts me. I guess if it were more my environment, I wouldn't have lasted seven years in NYC.

 

However, one-on-one conversations tend to somewhat energize me. I like having meaningful, thoughtful conversations with people, where I can really be engaged. However, if said hypothetical conversation was about something of shallow or superficial interest to me, it would annoy and tire me.

[Phateless]

I am going a little bonkers because I've had an abnormally social/busy week/weekend.

 

I usually work from home by myself, which means I usually get PLENTY of alone time. But I've been working on a project in an office setting from 9-5 for the past two weeks, plus after work socializing, plus very busy weekends.

 

I need a lot of alone time to feel centered and calm. If I don't get it, I end up feeling really anxious.

 

Is anyone else like this? Is this why I'm single? haha.

 

lol I'm like this. I need time to be in my own head and recharge, sometimes just do nothing. When my gf and I hang out on weekends it's like I get ZERO alone time and I start to get irritable by sunday night.

 

I work in a fairly high stimulus environment as well so by the end of the day I'm ignoring calls from my friends just because I feel like "What do you want from me?!" lol.

 

I get it. I'm a Sag. I'm independent.

[northstar1]

Is your desire for your 'space' affecting your ability to form healthy interpersonal relationships? Good question to ask.

 

I enjoy my alone time too and live where I don't have to see humans for days on end. That said, I'm equally comfortable in a hectic urban environment with many people around. Mental tricks I learned to mitigate over-stimulation help block out the extraneous 'noise' of other people and also to calm my emotional state. One simple one is to consciously slow my flow of thoughts down and block out sensory stimulus, like loud noises or bright lights. Another lifestyle choice is choosing not to live in an environment which is stressful and always knowing I have my 'place' to go home to and processing that thought pattern whenever in stressful/overstimulated situations.

 

IMO, it's really about knowing yourself, your psyche, your strengths and weaknesses and working with that information to find the healthiest balance. Being in control of your own psyche; your own perspective, regardless of outside influences.

 

 

I live in an urban area and do crave the lifestyle that living in the city permits. However, I like to be able to leave all that behind when I need my quiet time.

 

I don't mind crowds, or busy stores etc. What I loathe is the minutaie of small talk. Cocktail parties and business functions, despite being part of my job from time to time are painful to me.

 

I simply can't stand having to make small talk with people. When I am at a function and someone is holding court with pointless conjecture I envision all sorts of ways to leave the room or silence them with an elbow to the solar plexus.

 

However, I do love having a good stimulating conversation with someone.

 

As Satre said "Hell is other people at breakfast"

[northstar1]

lol I'm like this. I need time to be in my own head and recharge, sometimes just do nothing. When my gf and I hang out on weekends it's like I get ZERO alone time and I start to get irritable by sunday night.

 

I work in a fairly high stimulus environment as well so by the end of the day I'm ignoring calls from my friends just because I feel like "What do you want from me?!" lol.

 

I get it. I'm a Sag. I'm independent.

 

I laughed when I read that, because that is also me. I love my gf, but by Sunday night I'm thinking "okay, time to leave now so I can do my own thing".

[Els]

I live in an urban area and do crave the lifestyle that living in the city permits. However, I like to be able to leave all that behind when I need my quiet time.

 

I don't mind crowds, or busy stores etc. What I loathe is the minutaie of small talk. Cocktail parties and business functions, despite being part of my job from time to time are painful to me.

 

I simply can't stand having to make small talk with people. When I am at a function and someone is holding court with pointless conjecture I envision all sorts of ways to leave the room or silence them with an elbow to the solar plexus.

 

However, I do love having a good stimulating conversation with someone.

 

As Satre said "Hell is other people at breakfast"

 

This describes me perfectly!

 

However, I don't seem to have any problems with people who are truly close to me and whom I'm perfectly comfortable with. Last time my bf visited, we were literally in each others' faces for a whole two weeks with only one day's break in between. I was perfectly fine with it.

 

I can't stand social events and the like, though, and I feel utterly exhausted when I go on camps with friends or vacations with family where I don't have my own room.

 

In retrospect, I think it's more that I hate being polite and socially correct and not being able to do whatever makes me comfortable (like picking my nose!), and I'm able to relinquish all of those and be at home with people who are really close to me.

Edited October 9, 2009 by Elswyth

[Phateless]

One of my best friends who is also extremely intelligent also loathes small talk. It's just that he finds it completely useless, pointless, idiotic, etc. Needless to say, he has a bit of a hard time flirting, lol.

 

I think it's the triviality of it all that really gets to him.