breaker Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 days liek these make we want to get into the car and drive to my gf's dorm which is 6 hours away. lol i hate not being able to be there to hold her hand, do dumb stuff with her, go out to eat, ect ect. especially when she goes out, and it get to me even more when theres guys in the group. i get so jealous that theyre there spending time with her and im not!! lol. have any of you guys felt this way? like even lastnight, i went to a club with some friends and honestly, the entire time i kept wishing she was there with me and when i got home i felt so empty and alone bc she wasnt there. lol i think im going crazy. shes always out being a social butterfly and i wish she could sit and talk to me all day but oh.... i would never ever dare even say that, thatd be very selfish of me lol. i just wanted to rant to you guys, alot of you are in the same boat as me so i think you guys understand where im coming from. i just miss her so damn much Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 days liek these make we want to get into the car and drive to my gf's dorm which is 6 hours away. lol i hate not being able to be there to hold her hand, do dumb stuff with her, go out to eat, ect ect. especially when she goes out, and it get to me even more when theres guys in the group. i get so jealous that theyre there spending time with her and im not!! lol. have any of you guys felt this way? like even lastnight, i went to a club with some friends and honestly, the entire time i kept wishing she was there with me and when i got home i felt so empty and alone bc she wasnt there. lol i think im going crazy. shes always out being a social butterfly and i wish she could sit and talk to me all day but oh.... i would never ever dare even say that, thatd be very selfish of me lol. i just wanted to rant to you guys, alot of you are in the same boat as me so i think you guys understand where im coming from. i just miss her so damn much Hi breaker, and welcome to LS. Yep, I would say most people here have experienced what you are going through. It's tough being apart from someone who means a lot to you and not surprising that when you hear about what he/she has been doing you wish you were there with them enjoying the same things. You can do few things to help make the separation more tolerable... 1. Have you told your g/f what you expressed in the first paragraph you wrote above? Not in a whiny, needy way, but as an expression of how much you enjoy being with her and how much you miss "your special time" together? Despite the fact you describe her as a "social butterfly" she may be feeling the same way and it's good for both of you to receive affirmation of that. 2. How often do you two get to see each other? Have you planned your next visit? Having something you both can look forward to and make plans for in the meantime helps make the time pass and is a common goal that the two of you can work on and plan as a team. 3. Though it may seem depressing or difficult to go out with your friends, don't quit -- keep busy! Though it's hard not to wish you were able to share good times with the one who makes your heart sing, the fact is, you're separated at the moment, not for a lifetime, and time will pass more quickly if you don't isolate yourself. Let your g/f know that you are trying to make the best of being apart by sharing what you have been doing socially just as she shares that info with you. You will be a far happier and interesting b/f to speak to and be with if you don't fall into the trap of letting the separation drag you down. Finally, when despite your best efforts, you do find yourself down in the dumps, don't forget you have LS. It's a great place to vent, get advice as well as to learn from others who have or are in the midst of a LDR. HTH, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 6 hours isn't that far! Go on up and surprise her, if you can skip classes or miss work. I love it when my BF just shows up as a surprise! Link to post Share on other sites
Author breaker Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 haha thanks guys and yeah, i do my best to keep myself busy. im in a rather (whats starting to get big) band and that definately keeps my mind together and keeps me busy lol. i would love to just go up there and surprise but her and i have talked about that before and she would love it but at the same time hate it due to the fact shes insanely busy and she'd drop everything shes doing to see me, regardless of how it affected her work, internship and school work, just to see me. i wouldnt want to be selfish like that and have her drop important things bc i decided to show up lol. im just trying to stay patient, it wont be much longer hopefully til shes alot less busy. lol one question, do any of you ever feel like texting is just a pain in the ***? shes admitted to the fact before that she hates it and much rather talk on the phone, but shes busy alot during the day and even at nights with school, work, friends ect and i just found it convenient to send texts but half the times it takes her hours to respond and sometime she just doesnt even respond lol. i know its not her fault and i dont really care too much for it either but its just nice to hear from her sparingly throughout the day. have any of you just kind of pushed the texting to the side due to the fact it can get frustrating sometime? Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Hmm. I don't know what to tell you. The times my BF has surprised me has been when he would get here at the end of the day (6:00'ish), so work wasn't an issue. Even if I DID have to work evenings (like waitressing or something), then I would still have post-work to see him, and he would just hang out at my house until I got home. And then he would leave the next morning. My point is that even if a visit DOES somewhat mess up my schedule, HE is more important than most things. Our R is important enough to us both that we can be patient when other things "outrank" us momentarily on the ladder, but we push the other things down the ladder if we are really needing to see each other. If he is willing to make the time to drive, then I am willing to forego sleeping that night so that we can laugh, play and snuggle. As for texting, that takes about 30 seconds to respond. I can't really think of a time when I was so busy that I didn't respond to a text of his in a timely manner. He always responds to mine as soon as he can, too. But some people just don't like them, I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Thebob Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 I don't wanna be the bearer of bad news, but how long have you guys been going out for again? If it's been awhile then I'm not to worried, but if it's been not that long, I would express your concerns to her, or keep yourself busy so you don't think about her as much. I just broke up with my LDR, and my brain has been firing ever since. But during the time that she was up their, partying, drunk calling me, my paranoia level was so high and I wanted to be their with her so badly that I had to call it off with her. My mental health was going out of the roof, and I had to tell her that I cant talk to you anymore until your in town where we can talk face to face because it's just to hard for me. You need to live your single life and I need to live mine, but I will always care about you, but I can't deal with this right now and I feel that its best that we dont talk anymore until your back. I honestly felt like i was going to explode like a nuclear missile and it was horrible. Hopefully this helps man, your not the only one in the bunch that is going through this life lesson. Link to post Share on other sites
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