FEMIa Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 A friend of mine introduce me to this guy A few months ago, the guy confessed his feelings for me, and I realized I felt the same way about him. I had thought about him a few times before but never gave it much thought because I didn't think it'd be possible, him being on the other side of the state (CA). For the last 2 to three months, we've been talking on the phone every single day at least 2 or 3 times a day... I've never been so expressive about my feelings with anyone before. I truly gave it my all. It's like we've become part of each others' lives even without having met each other. well i finaly met him we have a lot in common he said he love me very much but the thing is he want me to move in with him because i live on the other side of the state (MD) but i do not know what to do i need help. please Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 A friend of mine introduce me to this guy A few months ago, the guy confessed his feelings for me, and I realized I felt the same way about him. I had thought about him a few times before but never gave it much thought because I didn't think it'd be possible, him being on the other side of the state (CA). For the last 2 to three months, we've been talking on the phone every single day at least 2 or 3 times a day... I've never been so expressive about my feelings with anyone before. I truly gave it my all. It's like we've become part of each others' lives even without having met each other. well i finaly met him we have a lot in common he said he love me very much but the thing is he want me to move in with him because i live on the other side of the state (MD) but i do not know what to do i need help. please Hi FEMIa, and welcome to LS. I understand your dilemma, but I'm not sure what the situation is... You say this guy lives on the other side of the state (CA), but then later say that you live in MD. Do you mean you two live on the other side of the country? Or, are you living in the same state, albeit at opposite ends? If you live so far apart how did the two of you meet? How much time did you spend together? How many times have you been in each other's company? Did you travel to see him or did he visit you? How old are both of you? Do you/he work? Go to college? Do you live alone? With family? Sorry for so many questions, but it's unclear from your original post what the issues really are and it will help others give you advice if we understand your situation more completely. All the best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
Author FEMIa Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 A friend of mine introduce me to this guy A few months ago, the guy confessed his feelings for me, and I realized I felt the same way about him. I had thought about him a few times before but never gave it much thought because I didn't think it'd be possible, him living in (CA). and me living in MD. but For the last 4 to 6 months, we've been talking on the phone every single day at least 2 or 3 times a day... I've never been so expressive about my feelings with anyone before. I truly gave it my all. It's like we've become part of each others' lives. i have visit him 5 time in 4 months in CA. he have as good job he is a college gra... and he own his own house he is 30 years old he has everthing going on for him. he has visit me once in MD but the thing is i live with my parent and i am in college i'm 22 years old but he want me to move in with him in Ca because he does not like longdistance relationships. i need help on what to do. please............ Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 FEMIa, Thanks for the clarification on your relationship. I understand that the two of you have grown quite close over the past few months and that being so far apart geographically is something that makes continuing your relationship difficult. However, if I were you, I would think twice about moving to California and moving in with your LDR boyfriend. Yes, you have had a chance to spend time with each other in person, on-line and on the phone, but on the other hand, you still *don't really know each other --you just think you do. Look at it this way, if you add up all the time you've spent talking or being with each other in person, how much time does that amount to? Maybe two or three month's worth? If you had dated a guy in your hometown for two or three months and he asked him to leave your friends, family, and your schooling and move half-way around the world and live with him, would you do that? Probably not, as you haven't had a chance to really know him well enough to be certain making that kind of major comittment, investment and sacrifice was a wise decision for you. FEMIa, you're still in school and live with your parents. This guy is eight years older than you -- not necessarily a big age difference -- but he's in a totally different place in his life and career. Though it's nice he has a good job and a home of his own, he sounds a bit selfish and domineering to me. If he truly wanted the best for you he wouldn't be making statements like: "You need to move out here because *I* don't like long distance relationships." He's not God, and his needs, desires and happiness aren't the only ones that should be addressed. If he wants you in his life (and you want to be in it) then your relationship should be a two-way street where you work together as partners to solve problems instead of one issuing an ultimatum and the other feeling like she is between a rock and a hard place with no where to turn. Were I you, I would stay put. Finish your college education first. Once you graduate, you will be in a much better position to decide which way you'd like your life to lead. If this guy can't understand that and isn't willing to wait for you, then he isn't worthy *of you.* PERIOD. Remember that. You're only 22, FEMIa. While I realize it is flattering he seems to be paying you so much attention, he's not the only one out there for you. I'm willing to bet there will be someone else that will think "your needs" are just as important as his and he'll be willing to do what it takes to make sure they are met, and THAT'S the kind of person you should be waiting and looking for. Take care and good luck to you... TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
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