guest Posted November 30, 2003 Share Posted November 30, 2003 I was wondering if others have the same experiences and just would be happy to hear. i met my boyfriend and we have been dating for four months, going on five. we are both in early twenties. i feel inside that hes the one and he does too. its just a knowing thing, like everyone says. things just flow and its incredible. we dont really fight either, just have misunderstandings and we talk it out. wat are your experiences with the one. did yall start fighting at a certain number of months, ever get sick of one another? what made you feel he or shes is the one? Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted November 30, 2003 Share Posted November 30, 2003 the concept of "the ONE" bothers me. don't you think there's more than one guy in this world with whom you'd be in love with and be compatible with and all that jazz? my 2c, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
albysurfin Posted November 30, 2003 Share Posted November 30, 2003 Aloha, Good for you, I have had a few relationships where I thought the person I was involved with was the one, and there is no particular time table at which point that you can tell. I can tell you this, you are still very young and as we grow older we change along with our priorities; hopefully you 2 change together. Do not rush things because this can end in disaster and try not to talk about the future to much even if the person is comfortable talking about it, it adds unnecessary pressure. Just enjoy every day for what it is worth and see if it stands the test of time; evetually there will probaly be a point at which conflict arises and see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Goatsbreath Posted November 30, 2003 Share Posted November 30, 2003 first they are the one, and then they are the one that cheated on you... Link to post Share on other sites
CaterpillarGirl Posted November 30, 2003 Share Posted November 30, 2003 First of all, I don't truly believe that there is just "one" person in this world that is right for you. Truthfully, I think there are probably at least a hundred men out there with whom I could have a reasonably good and love-filled marriage with. YOU and your SO make a decision to marry, and then see it through. Committment doesn't mean just getting through a ceremony. It means a constant willingness to support, adapt, compromise, sacrifice, etc. in order to make your relationship succeed. Although the phrase is cliche, "love isn't enough." So.....I'd wait a bit and see if you can make these kinds of sacrifices/compromises b4 continuing on to marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 30, 2003 Share Posted November 30, 2003 During the early, glowy part of the relationship, it's easy to think that THIS one is THE 'one'. That's because you haven't learned everything about one another or gone through any life circumstances which might test your relationship. You can't really know a person in much less than a year. By six months or so, if there are cracks, usually they will start to show but some take longer to show up. Pretty much the reality is that plenty of relationships seem ideal for the first while, but then reasons they may not be all that ideal after all will eventually surface. If they don't great, but you need to give any relationship time to make sure there are no unpleasant surprises. Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 I think maybe people's concept of what "the one" means differs. When I say that I mean I found the one I want to spend my life with, not I found the only one in the world that will do. So it's "the one" not "the only one" As far as fighting goes, decide that you will try to talk your problems out and you will find that the need to fight is greatly diminished. Compromises will be necessary, but if you can accept that, you can resolve all the small problems easily. Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 im a little less pessimistic then some of you, ive been in several relationships and so has he...i just wanted to share my joy, a feeling i have not felt in a very long time while being with someone im taking life with stride, great communication and trust is good enough for me. Link to post Share on other sites
CaterpillarGirl Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 Originally posted by guest im a little less pessimistic then some of you, ive been in several relationships and so has he...i just wanted to share my joy, a feeling i have not felt in a very long time while being with someone im taking life with stride, great communication and trust is good enough for me. Whoa! We were not being pessimistic, at least that wasn't my intention. I was trying to bring up some of the realities of being in love, finding "the one", marriage, etc. Love is indeed a wonderful, exciting thing, and I congratulate you on having found someone you feel this way about! Link to post Share on other sites
Goatsbreath Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 Yeah, love just sucks most of the time and then you get cheated on. Its not about being pessimistic, nobodys ever accused me of that. If anything, Im optomistic that my next girlfriend will cheat on me as well Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 what in the world and why do you keep getting cheated on? i never have been cheated on so i feel bad for you. Link to post Share on other sites
nicolas Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 welll, i'd say you'd found 'the one' only when you'd do almost anything for them (i.e drive 4 hours just to see them on weekends) or something like that, personally i'd say i'd truely love someone if i'd die for them... but ppl rarely ever reach that stage... now.. that being said.. be careful how hard and how fast you fall for this person... the girl that i thought was totally perfect for me.. the one who when i slept, and dreamd of ever night... well we went out.. and her mum split us up cause they thought we were too serious!! now.. that's not really fair... a box of chocolates and a poem don't mean that much... plus we never even kissed!! we went out for a month only... soo ya advice... just wait... get to know this 'the one' and keep in mind nothing lasts forever...i fell really hard really fast... it took me a lil over a year to get over her.. peace, nic Link to post Share on other sites
Neo Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 Before you ask this question. Look at my username. I. AM. The One. Problem solved. Link to post Share on other sites
nicolas Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 yea... saw that one comming.... Link to post Share on other sites
DJ-TK Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 LOL Neo.... I think that everyone should just fall for Neo.. No mistakes here.... Anyway, I think that "The One" means the one you are willing to spend your life with... I love my GF to death, I would do anything for her.. I would die for her... I don't know how I would end up in a different situation... You never know where life takes you to, and so I don't believe there is just one in the world which is a perfect match.... It just seems too weird and unreasonable.... I'm just glad I am with my GF and that we've met each other and that fate brought us together and that's it... I think you should always keep searching and not believe you have just one in the world that is perfect for you... and another thing about perfectionism - Nothing's perfect until you fall in love... Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 Anyway, I think that "The One" means the one you are willing to spend your life with BINGO! my sentiments, exactly! When I met the guy I would end up marrying, I thought he was interesting; later, after we'd dated, I could see us together in our old age. But I think that it's only after being married nearly 12 years that I can actually say he's "the one" for me -- the one who, by being a great pillar of support, has helped me through this crazy journey called life. I guess maybe that in the beginning, a person's concept of "the one" has more to do with "this is the person I absolutely, positively cannot live without;" but as he or she gets older, it changes to "this is the person I'm glad I've had along with me for the ride, because without him/her, I don't know how I'd have survived that ride." Link to post Share on other sites
CaterpillarGirl Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 Originally posted by nicolas personally i'd say i'd truely love someone if i'd die for them... but ppl rarely ever reach that stage... Well, I'd gladly sacrifice my life for any child whose own life was endangered. That may not be romantic love, but I think it's the most basic kind of love. There are also several friends I'd die for, too. And of course, my family. I don't think this is a very fair litmus test. Link to post Share on other sites
Neo Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 I wouldn't focus so much on the semantics here. Obviously, with 6 billion people on our planet, it's very unlikely that you'd ever run into the one "meant for you" if there WERE only one. If you lived in India, you'd find the One in India. You have "perfect matches" everywhere, it just depends on where you are born and where you live, and how you change as you grow. And yes the one is just the person you are willing to spend your life with Link to post Share on other sites
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