Robert52 Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 (edited) I have recently ended an 18 month relationship. I'm going to see her soon to discuss the reasons for the break-up. She wants closure. The reason i gave her for the breakup wasnt the main reason. Do i tell her that my feelings for her were only ever platonic (which they were)? I'm sure she knows this deep down but is it something that should be just left unsaid, or should it be let out? It was a secret which i'm sure she knew about and had decided to keep it a secret from me so that we could still be together. Love makes you do stupid things eh? The reason i gave her when breaking up made me seem hugely selfish (which i did on purpose and so not implicating her as the reason) and she cant forgive me for it. This has really left me heart broken and torn up inside because i still love her deeply for who she is. Edited October 8, 2009 by Robert52 Link to post Share on other sites
unclarity Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 hmm im not sure if i get this, but i think that if she needs closure you gotta be as honest as you can otherwise she will be left wondering forever and that's not good. I can relate to your story, I went after my ex asking for closure too but he keeps saying things that doesn't sound true which makes it harder to move on. I think that you need to tell her everything you feel, dont need to be rude or anything, just speak from your heart and she will understand and be fine. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Odyssey Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 She wants closure because she didn't believe your breakup story. Tell her the REAL reason man. One other thing to remember, it's closure, so don't give false hope and leave doors open (it makes moving on extremely painful later for both of you). Yeah love can make some people do stupid things... but it's more because we're human and we all make mistakes. And knowing there's a problem is half the battle won, right? Good luck with the talk. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Don't tell her that.. Just say you couldn't see it lasting and you didn't want to hurt her. Be honest, but telling her you were never inlove with her would be a mistake. A woman hearing "I do love you, but like a sister, or not that way" really sucks to hear.. Link to post Share on other sites
SweetFla Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 My ex BF ended a year long relationship with me a few mos ago, but he was honest; told me he loved me, but didn't feel the chemistry. (sounds like same situation you have, but on the opposite side) Yes, it hurt me deeply at the time, but in retrospect, I realize that I didn't feel the sexual chemistry towards him either. . it was as if we were both trying to force it b/c we really liked each other as human beings and we really wanted it to be more than a platonic relationship. In a way it was a relief when he told me; it wasn't "just me" that felt s.thing was missing. Ironically, it was closure for me to hear the truth. A few mos have passed and I'm over it; I'm actually grateful and I respect that fact that he had the balls to be honest and end it, as he should have. (and p.s.. .I was in denial and didn't have the guts to do it myself!) We've just recently started talking again, trying to (slowly) develop a platonic relationship again. . so it's all good. Bottom line; I say be honest. She deserves that. Link to post Share on other sites
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