samsungxoxo Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 How many times has there been a BS that has posted: I was in the dark, without a clue, my friends knew, why did they not tell WS was cheating, how it hurts that my friends did not tell me? Enough times to make me remember the saying: if I only had a dollarfor everytime I .... Unbelievable that she still paints herself as the victim, those that support her as a victim, that she should be supported to of kept on lying to her BH.I guess, someone told on her but I don't know how. I can be writing anything about my relationship with bf here and no one knows me. Then I guess when reading the narrator's story, sometimes one has to look at it from the their point of view since they're the one telling the story. You can lightly disagree but doesn't mean they person is going to share your ideas and actually do as they are told. If hypothetically speaking I was the cheater, no I wouldn't tell bf. I can be having 100 poster preaching me on telling him and all about honesty, I still wouldn't tell. Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Well the bf is no more now anyway, so job done, whoever it was. I still think it was really sad to grass someone up. There is nothing worse than a grass, and in a way that in itself is a form of cheating..... Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 It's amazing, SB. The Op is no longer here and people are STILL bitching about her. People need to find another outlet for your anger.:rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
Bejita463 Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 I don't really intend any offense to anyone here, but this apparent aversion to the truth boggles my mind. The way the truth came out was shady, yes, but not (in my opinion) worthy of outrage. Would this still be worthy of outrage if it had been someone who knew one of the involved people personally that had informed the boyfriend? I ask because I am curious where the line in the sand is drawn. I know not everyone would agree on where that line is, but I am surprised opinions to vary to such a large degree as to evoke these reactions. Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Opinions vary to such a degree, because I know her as a WHOLE person, most of you just know her from this one situation, give or take. And I'm telling you, she really is salt of the earth and sweet beyond belief. With a little more encouraging support, maybe you would have got through to her a bit easier. We all put our defenses up when we are feeling outnumbered. Besides that, it was a tough situation to make a call on and I can understand where she would be coming from. I think it's completely worthy of outrage. Someone intentionally stalked her, interfered with her personal life and decided to take matters into their own hands. I'm sure that kind of thing is actually illegal. That is scary!! You know what I find so distressing? More than anything?- People who judge a person based on a few paragraphs of what they write and not as the whole person. I myself am still judged by a certain few, just from some of my past posts here and I find it exceedingly shallow. She came here for help, and ended up just getting it in the neck. I know it's a long thread, but if you are going to give advice or make an opinion on her, at least try and see both sides of the coin before hand. Try and be fair. Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 And might I add, that I have been on the receiving end of being cheated on in my life....I have had my heart broken. I can still be fair and see it from both sides. So next time, please try and think a little more about how one person may be feeling. Some of us are better at expressing ourselves through creative writing than others, some of us don't express what we really feel at all through our writing....and we end up in a jumbled mess. Let this be a lesson to everyone on here. Personally, to me, it feels like you had a group of friends over to your house, your closest buddies. You wake up in the morning and you notice there are things missing from all over the house...someone has been stealing....one of your buddies is stealing from you...and you don't have a clue which one. You confront them all and no one fesses up....who can you trust now???? Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 I have been cheated on and would never condone cheating. All circumstances are different and in this particular thread I agreed that the OP should not tell as her circumstances warrented it! They were not in a serious relationship and she was still addicted to her ex and her new bf was not dedicated to her. All telling him would have achieved was hurting him. Nothing else! They were not exclusive and not serious I still agree with her, not for cheating but for not fessing up! Whoever ratted on her should be ashamed of themselves! Self righteous and selfish and they must have a really sad life! Stalker! Link to post Share on other sites
Bejita463 Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 I think it's completely worthy of outrage. Someone intentionally stalked her, interfered with her personal life and decided to take matters into their own hands. I'm sure that kind of thing is actually illegal. That is scary!! I see what you mean. I agree that the way things came out was shady, but it seemed to me that the focus was more on what happened rather than how it did. I appreciate the clarification. I know it's a long thread, but if you are going to give advice or make an opinion on her, at least try and see both sides of the coin before hand. Try and be fair. I can't speak for any of the others, but my contributions to the thread were intended to help. I just don't sugarcoat my opinions. I had an opinion on the situation, and I didn't try to be diplomatic about who had my sympathies, even so I do not have an opinion of any person I offer opinions to; I don't know them. Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Hey that post was not directed at anyone in general, especially both of you, I was just having a public speaking moment Link to post Share on other sites
Bejita463 Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Hey that post was not directed at anyone in general, especially both of you, I was just having a public speaking moment I assumed as much, but I responded in case I was included in the generality. I am well aware that I often do not word myself quite as eloquently as I am capable of. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Well the bf is no more now anyway, so job done, whoever it was. I still think it was really sad to grass someone up. There is nothing worse than a grass, and in a way that in itself is a form of cheating..... sorry to go off topic, but I gotta ask. what is "grassing" someone up mean? I can only gather from the context of what this person supposedly did to FC that it means ratting someone out...is that correct? but again, I see nothing here of the sort. so did yall see a post from someone that ratted her out and the mods deleted it? how do we know she was ratted out? I'm not seeing it, but my guess is a post got deleted. Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 A grass, is Scottish terminology for a tell-tale, a snitch, one who sneaks around behind peoples backs and tells on them. It's equivalent to to when you were young and someone going and telling on you to your parents or your teacher when you did somehting bad or didn't co-operate. . or give them what they wanted Nothing has been deleted. We are still trying to get to the bottom of it..... It was 100% someone from LS Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Grassing is like Narking. Link to post Share on other sites
MizzBlue72 Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 I think you are human - we all make mistakes. I think that many people can say they would never ever do something until it is right there in their face ... and sometimes we are surprised at the decisions that we made at the time. Don't beat yourself up. Maybe you needed to learn from this. Decide where you want to go from here. You will be ok. Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 (edited) Opinions vary to such a degree, because I know her as a WHOLE person, most of you just know her from this one situation, give or take. And I'm telling you, she really is salt of the earth and sweet beyond belief. This one situation puts a strain on that, 'sweet' character you talk about. She maybe sweet outside of a relationship, but you're missing the fact that she is a very troubled individual, cheating aside of course. and honestly, If you can't be trusted, then that negates everything nice someone else has to say about you in my opinion.. Edited October 22, 2009 by Javelin Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 (edited) She may have done wrong, I'm not debating that fact. She knows herself she did wrong and knows she needs to work on that part of herself. But the fact that someone ratted her out on LS is bad news... She is still human. Edited October 22, 2009 by Soul Bear Link to post Share on other sites
ForRealLoveMe Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 I am not quite seeing where people said she isn't human and can't make mistakes. When is it that we grow and evolve from our mistakes? When we deal with the consequences of our wrongs. Coming to terms with our errors. This girl was unwilling to do that. She had no set reasons as she was all over the board with why, as Dexter mentioned. So would she have learned? It is doubtful. At least now she can know that honesty is better. Also, just a thought, while it is likely to be a love shack person, if someone knew her email, Google searched it, it could have came up. It could have been a lurker. Those of us (I believe for the most part) who didn't agree with her were doing our best to help. Not every one sugar coats things, as another poster said. And, again (like another poster said), a person who lies in their intimate relationships - well that shows some true colors. Those who know her, do you know her in real life? Have you had real social interaction? It is easy to sit behind a computer and put on a facade. I believe most things happen for a reason. I am confident that this was for the best, not just for the guy, but for the girl as well. She can learn from it and also now can move on and get things figured out in her head, get past the ex before she gets herself involved again. The guy was able to make a choice based on the honest situation, as he should have been. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 grass narking Can't we use English here? Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 A grass, is Scottish terminology for a tell-tale, a snitch, one who sneaks around behind peoples backs and tells on them. It's equivalent to to when you were young and someone going and telling on you to your parents or your teacher when you did somehting bad or didn't co-operate. . or give them what they wanted Nothing has been deleted. We are still trying to get to the bottom of it..... It was 100% someone from LS thanks for the description...never heard that phrase before. well if nothing was here to read, how do we know this happened? Unless I missed it, I saw nothing in this thread about it. did I miss a post where FC said this happened? Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Yeah I dont know how this come about either! Maybe FC told SB???? However, it is still a disgrace BUT it could also be her ex who did it! He could know she posts here and is causing problems for her for his own reasons! Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Yeah I dont know how this come about either! Maybe FC told SB???? However, it is still a disgrace BUT it could also be her ex who did it! which would be another reason for someone that cheated not to be lulled into a false sense of security that their betrayed one will never find out. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 The truth always comes out in the end, that is life BUT I still believe the OPs reasons were valid and I also think that it was no one elses business so they should have kept their sticky beak out! Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 The truth always comes out in the end, that is life BUT I still believe the OPs reasons were valid and I also think that it was no one elses business so they should have kept their sticky beak out! then why is she here if she is justified, in the right, and its nobody's business? only reason, if what you say is true, is for validation. validation for what though if she thinks she wasn't wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
ForRealLoveMe Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 The girl said, "I wish he didn't have to find out that way". What other way was he going to find out, she wasn't going to tell him? Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 "The truth always comes out in the end". Really? I say BS. It's a saying meant to comfort popular morality. And in some instances, to try and scare people into doing something or to justify ratting out someone else. I wish the world was that simple and corresponded to fairy tales, but it isn't. The truth doesn't always come out, for better or for worse. Link to post Share on other sites
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