Did she play me?

[lovejones1]

Help Me out here please. I interested in this woman that I work with for some time. We was kind of work friends at first we would eat lunch together every day hang out at work. Well one day she tells me that she wants me but she has a boyfriend and I told her I want her also. So after that everything changed she would flirt with me all the time hang out around me invited me to parties at her house bought me a birthday gift etc. Her birthday was a week after mine so since she got me something I thought I should get her something so I tried to buy her lunch she would NOT let me!!!!! I would sometimes have no money so she tried to buy me lunch. So I guess she was not a gold digger not that I have money anyway. Some of the other things that she did was mirror me I would catch her watching me when I was not looking. She would kind of take care of me look out for me and stick up for me when my boss would complain about me. One thing is she stayed with her boyfriend but he supports her and I can't so I don't know if that has anything to do with anything or not. I of course was under the impression that they was breaking up. Also I tried to kiss her and she rejected me "told me not where people can see us". Also one more thing she would do was come over to my office all the time to see me she would make up some kind of stupid question to ask me. I would tell her to bring me breakfast in the morning and she did. This is stupid but hey it work,,I was walking around a mall with her and I noticed my shoe was untied so I pointed to it and she bent over and tied my shoe for me LOL.

 

 

This other girl that works with me today told me that this woman played me. She said she just had a mock relationship with me to make her feel good about herself when her and her boyfriend was fighting. She said woman have to hear you tell them you like them, which I know. I then asked her why did she do all those things for me then and she said she thinks it's because some people want a lover and a person to take care of them.

 

I think this is a little odd because if somebody was going to play me and god knows it has happen to me before why would she do all those things she did for me. What do you guys think?

[SoleMate]

I think she's playing you just like the other girl explained. The woman you are interested in:

 

* has a boy friend

 

* whom she lives with

 

* and who supports her

 

She doesn't want to mess up her meal ticket, but is having fun just dangling the toy in front of the kitten's paws and snatching it away. (You're the kitten.) Yes, the kitten/toy thing will take her mind off of boredom or anger at her moneybags boyfriend.

 

You probably could have a cheap affair with her if you wanted to do it in strict secrecy. She'd be using you, of course. But maybe you can use her to bring your breakfast and tie your shoes.

 

Good luck with whatever it is you are looking for.

[lovejones1]

I never had the intentions of having an affair with her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I of course was under the impression that they was breaking up.

 

I just want to know 2 things.

1. Did she do this to be cruel to me?

2. If in fact she was playing me why did she do all those things for me such as trying to take care of me doing things for me etc??????

[BlockHead]

1. She did it for kicks. Your feelings were never and issue.

2. Games are a cheap alternative to intimacy. When she can’t be intimate with her boyfriend, she substitutes that with playing you. She is holding back in some way while you spill your guts. Call it cheating if you want. I guess the more intense the game is, the higher the payoff.

 

The payoff is your attention, feelings and emotions. She gets access to your innermost feelings and emotions while denying access to her own. You gave her something precious, and she gave you a cheap imitation.

 

Ignoring her is the best revenge. Deny her the payoff. She will feed off any positive or negative response as long as it is a reaction to her. Limit your contact with her to just rituals like saying hello, goodbye, nice weather, etc. When it comes to work, keep it professional. Learn from the experience.

 

In my experience, people like this will play this game again and again as long they think they can play you.

[lovejones1]

Originally posted by BlockHead

1. She did it for kicks. Your feelings were never and issue.

2. Games are a cheap alternative to intimacy. When she can’t be intimate with her boyfriend, she substitutes that with playing you. She is holding back in some way while you spill your guts. Call it cheating if you want. I guess the more intense the game is, the higher the payoff.

 

The payoff is your attention, feelings and emotions. She gets access to your innermost feelings and emotions while denying access to her own. You gave her something precious, and she gave you a cheap imitation.

 

Ignoring her is the best revenge. Deny her the payoff. She will feed off any positive or negative response as long as it is a reaction to her. Limit your contact with her to just rituals like saying hello, goodbye, nice weather, etc. When it comes to work, keep it professional. Learn from the experience.

 

In my experience, people like this will play this game again and again as long they think they can play you.

Thanks for the help. I felt a little funny about this and I even confronted her and she said she is not that mean to play games with me. I am in shock here. I never felt she would do this. We was friends before "or so I thought" before any of this. U just can't begin to imagine how another person can do this to somebody. Luckly she quit work so I don't have to see her again. She did call me once after she quit for me to come see her, which i didn't do.

 

 

My MAIN!!!! concern is WHY did she do all those things for me such as take care of me, bring me food etc etc???????????????????????????????????????

 

Also her friend still works with me and me and her will be talking and she will bring this woman up all the time when we are talking. What is the point behind that??

 

THANKS SO MUCH

[BlockHead]

Let’s call her lady X.

I felt a little funny about this and I even confronted her and she said she is not that mean to play games with me.

By apologizing, lady X could be opening you up for some more of that nonsense.

We was friends before "or so I thought" before any of this.

You were friends insofar as you served her purpose.

My MAIN!!!! concern is WHY did she do all those things for me such as take care of me, bring me food etc etc???????????????????????????????????????

Some people like to build a person up before tearing that person down.

Also her friend still works with me and me and her will be talking and she will bring this woman up all the time when we are talking. What is the point behind that??

Let her friend know that she is making you uncomfortable, and that you want her to stop bringing it up.

The possibility that her friend is an accomplice does exist. She could be stirring up your feelings and emotions, and then relaying them back to lady X.

 

Ask yourself, do you really trust her friend? Do you get that funny feeling? Learn to trust your instincts.

 

Maybe for some people, half the fun is getting caught.

[MWkid19]

I despise people like her.