omg! After 15 yrs i cheated 4 the first time

[Flower28]

i am all over this place.Lost all my control.

First a lil bit about myself. I am 28,almost 29. i married my best friend 2006.we dated for a lil bit over a year and had sex the first time after 2 months.Did tease each other though.

Long story short. He was THE man of my life. There cant be any better man!

 

But, we dont rock in bed. Or better him. I am sooo much different, then he is.

We spoke many times about it.

I never ever looked at anyone else either.

 

But back in bed...i donno how to explain this. I always tell him things when im horny, but it ends up,that i please him more,then he does. He cums soo quick...no more then 10 mins, thats not even non stop.i want his hands all over me...he is never on my page.And yes, we have talk about...

 

I think, sex is not just the act it self. Sex is so much more !!

 

Now...my daughter has a friend.They always play together.Sleep over.Ok.I met her dad.single dad.divorced.40 years old, very charmed.

Big deal, i have met lots of gys b4 and i never had any thoughts like that.

Now since 3 weeks,..we told me, he likes me, but he respects my husband.

So we never touched each other.

 

Last night, when was nearby him, it was 8pm. We always worried if we alone...but i was sure, nothing will happen.So it was ok to drop off something for his daughter...i stayed until the next morning and sneaked out around 6am.

We hugged each other, and stayed connected! I cought my self,i enjoyed.I felt cold and warm.He slided his hands down my neck to my hips....****! i never had this, not even in my marriage, or b4.

We ended up,rubbing and naked. Did NOT sleep with each other.

 

But still, i have cheated ! Now, i cant get it out off my head anymore!

I am seperated, still live together, he is gone for 5 weeks right now though.

 

I am so confused. Sex should never become the most important thing.

In my case, this man has anything sexual wise i want.

 

I feel guilty starting an affair....also cant stop thinking about it.

 

How can something wrong feel so good?

[Chrome Barracuda]

Well your married!!!!

 

And before you start blaiming your other half for any problems you have had, you should admit 100% what you did was wrong! and it was absolutely your fault! why did you make the choice to get naked in bed with this man!??? What will your son think???

[Flower28]

You are right. It was wrong.

 

And i was weak! And i have never been , not even close, to a situation like this before.

My son? My daughter was not with me.

 

Though i dont know what to do. Shall i break up all contact? What do i say my daughter?

 

And why was i that weak.I feel 16 and not grown up at all....

[boldjack]

OP, don't lie to yourself, and don't lie to us. We can't help you if you don't tell us the truth. Lie #1; this man respects your husband. If he respected your H, none of this would have happened. Lie #2, that you lost control. You and he knew exactly what you were doing. Lie #3 , this one is what you will tell your husband. Because you probably won't tell him the truth. Lies #4, 5, and 6. That you love, honor and respect your husband. You do nothing of the sort. Lies# 7+ All the lies you will have to tell yourself to keep the affair going, in the future. Before anything else, you must be honest with yourself and your husband. Or you have little hope.

[Flower28]

well we are seperated. But still married. Doesnt make it better. I know!

And yes i enjoyed each minute.

I dont lie to myself. I am very honest, thats why i do admit to what i have done and also come here, to talk about it. It does bother me. I am confused.

And i feel like, THIS aint serious from my site. But this man's view, he does wants more.

Thats what he told me tonight. He also said, that he doesnt wanna go on, because i am still married.

Now that i think about it and write about it. I feel like, not going on at all.

Because i feel not comfortable anymore.

 

Is it maybe possible that, after these years i was just going to test myself out?

I know it sounds stupid. And i really dont know, how to explain this.

[allin]

After such a long time of not being touched in the way you need, it can be easy to fall into something that clicks the first time. Sex isn't the most important thing, but i think it is a hell of a lot more important that we women give it credit for...until we are unsatisfied for too long. Then we either grow cold or seek a change in some way.

Not saying you chose the right or wrong way--not mine to judge--but look at it objectively and make the best choice for your emotional stability long-term.

well we are seperated. But still married. Doesnt make it better. I know!

And yes i enjoyed each minute.

I dont lie to myself. I am very honest, thats why i do admit to what i have done and also come here, to talk about it. It does bother me. I am confused.

And i feel like, THIS aint serious from my site. But this man's view, he does wants more.

Thats what he told me tonight. He also said, that he doesnt wanna go on, because i am still married.

Now that i think about it and write about it. I feel like, not going on at all.

Because i feel not comfortable anymore.

 

Is it maybe possible that, after these years i was just going to test myself out?

I know it sounds stupid. And i really dont know, how to explain this.