somersetlady Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 Help, my husband wont stop lying to me. These lies mostly involved women and they have been going on from the start. We had a long distance relationship built on lies and that is even how he got me to marry him. I have given up everything to move across the continent for him, I thought he was sincere.The only lies I know about are the ones I have backed him so far into a corner that he couldn't't't get out. HELP!!!!!!! It hurts so bad, we've been married not even a year, and I've already given up so much for him. Not even counseling can help him, he gave that up after only one time, if he actually went at all. He hurts me so bad with his lying past, that I feel like giving up so bad. Everyone tells me marriage is hard work, but I already know this. What should I do. We just made love and he got up to call a woman from work, to see how her day was, in business-he lied because he said he checked the voice mail and she was calling on the other line, when I checked the call log, he had no choice other then to admit that it was he who had called her. I have no money even to leave I dont know what to do, I am only 23, HELP!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
wayj99 Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 somersetlady, Hang in there. I've been married for 2.5 years (both 25 yrs old) and have been living through lie afer lie from my wife. Most of these lies have centered around a month long affair she was having. I also had to back her in a corner before the truth would come out. I'm assuming from your post that he went to counseling on his own. The main advise I can give you is to go to counseling with him. This will help him to better understand you because there will be a independant third party with the two of you. I marriage is impossible without trust, honesty, and loyalty. I wish you the absolute best! Link to post Share on other sites
Author somersetlady Posted December 1, 2003 Author Share Posted December 1, 2003 Unfortunately, I had to beg and force to go to counseling, I wish he would give initiative to go back, but he is stubborn, even though he knows how I feel. Thank you for responding, though I appreciate you trying to help, I wish we could go together, but there is always another excuse why he says we can't. Thanks for the support. Link to post Share on other sites
GoodnPlenty Posted December 3, 2003 Share Posted December 3, 2003 Dear lady no one should be abused like that. Please get a job and make money for yourself just in case you have to leave. ...and get counseling, even if it's only for yourself. You count! Link to post Share on other sites
Author somersetlady Posted December 3, 2003 Author Share Posted December 3, 2003 Oh I wish it were that simple, when we got married I moved from to his country where I am still unable to work, I have tried making money online, but that seems hopeless, if you have any suggestions, I am all ears. Thanks for your support Link to post Share on other sites
bark Posted December 3, 2003 Share Posted December 3, 2003 I have no money even to leave I dont know what to do, I am only 23, HELP!!!!!!!!! Do you have any family in your homeland that could lend you money so that you can return home? You are in a marriage from Hell. And you must get out for your own good. On the plus side, you're only 23 and you did not mention any kids. If worse comes to worse, I would borrow the money from your husband (without his knowledge) and repay him once you get back home. You must get out of there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somersetlady Posted December 4, 2003 Author Share Posted December 4, 2003 what do I do when he says he's so sorry and won't stop apologizing? He says he loves me is that enough? How tough should I be? Link to post Share on other sites
twissted_sis Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Hi, Ive been in a 2 yr miserable relationship with the same kind of man(if u call it that) once the lying starts it doesnt get better, Im on my way out of this one and yes, it hard. I have been tring to find a cheap place to buy and go on with my life . He has been un faithful and i forgave the act but the lying is what tears the realtionship apart. Once the trust is gone I dont know if you ever get it back . So know that your not alone in this world trying to escape a life of mental B>S!!!! hang in there and takle the first oppurtunity out. your commadre. twissted. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by somersetlady what do I do when he says he's so sorry and won't stop apologizing? He says he loves me is that enough? How tough should I be? He is manipulating you. He does not love you. He loves having you there, because he can have sex with you as well as mess around on the side. If he was "so sorry", he would go into counseling, and stop %#@%ing around on you. Get out. Link to post Share on other sites
Samson Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 We had a long distance relationship built on lies What does this statement mean? Link to post Share on other sites
2boysmama Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 Don't put up with it. Men lie because they learned that at some point in life, it made things easier for them. I put up with my husbands "little" lies and each time he got away with one the next lie was bigger and the next one bigger than that, to get to my point, I cannot believe any word that comes out of his mouth. You shouldn't have to follow in those steps. Right now, my husband is having a very personal emotional affair with a 19 year old girl from work he's known a month, and he lies about it. He wants to go to movies and "role playing games" alone with this girl and doesn't understand why it's wrong. I didn't put my foot down and nearly killed myself out of sheer selfish misery to get out of this, please get away from this man before he destroys all of your sence of self worth. No man is worth it, and my two boys will be better off when we leave him, so if you don't have kids with this vd mongrel, DON'T! That man would ruin them too. RUN, GIRL! RUN! Link to post Share on other sites
blued-mama Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 Maybe you should go to counseling to learn how to stand up to him and not let him control your life. I know that it is working for me. It takes the guilt of want to leave any way. Good luck and don't forget that there is ways a way out. Kisses and hugs, Lacy Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 This is an old, old thread. Link to post Share on other sites
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