flutterbies4u Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Hi hi! Okay, I met a man at a previous job I held we both worked at the same place but not the same company and dating between us was allowed (I checked with my former boss). When we first met I could sense alot of attraction and we became very affectionate. I thought he and I were on the right path to a relationship. Well, I had found out very quickly that he is 32 years my senior and that according to his co-workers he's very secretive. I didn't have a problem communicating with him and getting to know him but at a certain point he cut me off. He tried to avoid to me or would keep the communication light. By this point I was smitten and wanted to pursue him more. He told me things like "I'm too old for you" or "You'll find someone younger or healthier" (he suffered two heart attacks one after another a few years ago) but none of those factors mattered to me. Long story short I got laid off from the job moved away but moved back to my hometown where we both reside. I'm still wanting to be with him but don't know how to approach him or prove to him I will be faithful and that I really want to be with him. We parted on VERY good terms and I need advice on how to have a very good reunion with him. I've come to realize that life's too short to wonder later on about the what if's now. please help me. thanks sooo much in advance! Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen12 Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Hi hi! Okay, I met a man at a previous job I held we both worked at the same place but not the same company and dating between us was allowed (I checked with my former boss). When we first met I could sense alot of attraction and we became very affectionate. I thought he and I were on the right path to a relationship. Well, I had found out very quickly that he is 32 years my senior and that according to his co-workers he's very secretive. I didn't have a problem communicating with him and getting to know him but at a certain point he cut me off. He tried to avoid to me or would keep the communication light. By this point I was smitten and wanted to pursue him more. He told me things like "I'm too old for you" or "You'll find someone younger or healthier" (he suffered two heart attacks one after another a few years ago) but none of those factors mattered to me. Long story short I got laid off from the job moved away but moved back to my hometown where we both reside. I'm still wanting to be with him but don't know how to approach him or prove to him I will be faithful and that I really want to be with him. We parted on VERY good terms and I need advice on how to have a very good reunion with him. I've come to realize that life's too short to wonder later on about the what if's now. please help me. thanks sooo much in advance! Before I can give you any advice or make any comments, I need to know how old you are. How is your relationship with your dad and how old is he? Link to post Share on other sites
neowulf Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 I didn't have a problem communicating with him and getting to know him but at a certain point he cut me off. He tried to avoid to me or would keep the communication light. By this point I was smitten and wanted to pursue him more. He told me things like "I'm too old for you" or "You'll find someone younger or healthier" (he suffered two heart attacks one after another a few years ago) but none of those factors mattered to me. See the bits I've highlighted? If you were saying those things to a guy whom you'd met, what message would you be trying to send him? I'm sorry, but he's not interested. I understand your smitten, but seriously, let him go. He's sending very strong signals that he's not interested in taking things any further with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author flutterbies4u Posted October 12, 2009 Author Share Posted October 12, 2009 Before I can give you any advice or make any comments, I need to know how old you are. How is your relationship with your dad and how old is he? I'm 24 and he's 56 my father is deceased but when he was alive he and I were close and I helped cared for him in his final years. My father and I never had issues so I'm not searching for a father figure that's just weird LOL. And there are bits of the story I left out for a reason neowulf I appreciate your advice but I beg to differ. He used those terms to get me to move on because I think he's afraid to start over, you know afraid I might find someone else down the road and he doesn't want to invest too much into our relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen12 Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 I'm 24 and he's 56 my father is deceased but when he was alive he and I were close and I helped cared for him in his final years. My father and I never had issues so I'm not searching for a father figure that's just weird LOL. And there are bits of the story I left out for a reason neowulf I appreciate your advice but I beg to differ. He used those terms to get me to move on because I think he's afraid to start over, you know afraid I might find someone else down the road and he doesn't want to invest too much into our relationship. When you're at your prime, in your early to mid 30s, would you be okay sleeping with someone who's almost 70? Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Hi hi! Okay, I met a man at a previous job I held we both worked at the same place but not the same company and dating between us was allowed (I checked with my former boss). When we first met I could sense alot of attraction and we became very affectionate. I thought he and I were on the right path to a relationship. Well, I had found out very quickly that he is 32 years my senior and that according to his co-workers he's very secretive. I didn't have a problem communicating with him and getting to know him but at a certain point he cut me off. He tried to avoid to me or would keep the communication light. By this point I was smitten and wanted to pursue him more. He told me things like "I'm too old for you" or "You'll find someone younger or healthier" (he suffered two heart attacks one after another a few years ago) but none of those factors mattered to me. Long story short I got laid off from the job moved away but moved back to my hometown where we both reside. I'm still wanting to be with him but don't know how to approach him or prove to him I will be faithful and that I really want to be with him. We parted on VERY good terms and I need advice on how to have a very good reunion with him. I've come to realize that life's too short to wonder later on about the what if's now. please help me. thanks sooo much in advance! A 32-year difference is big according to most western standards. If he's telling you "I'm too old for you" or "you'll find someone younger and healthier" he's saying in an indirect way that he is not interested in you. If you like the chase, this is not going to be helpful at all....but to those who don't chase, this is normally a sign to lay off. There are women on here whom are sensitive to the issue of younger women dating older guys - maybe they can do a better job of convincing you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author flutterbies4u Posted October 16, 2009 Author Share Posted October 16, 2009 When you're at your prime, in your early to mid 30s, would you be okay sleeping with someone who's almost 70? Age doesn't mean anything to me at all. We've reconnected and are feeling out the proper path. I'm still as crazy about him as when I first met him so I think when I'm in my 30's it will still be this exciting unless he can't then by then I hope a fulfilling relationship will have replaced wanton lust. I can't explain how AV (his initials) makes me feel but I have never taken to someone so quickly like him. I deep trust issues but I found it easy to talk to him and the way we were so affectionate I can't believe he doesn't want to be with me. Plus, what I left out was we came close to sleeping together but his fears got the better of him and he chickened out. Yes, we're two very complicated beings but it remains the same how I feel for him. There's no breaking me...pushing me...or convincing me . I mean I'm not going to wait forever but I need to resolve whatever this is. thanks for your advice and feel welcome to keep commenting I do find whatever you guys say useful and I try to apply it but I can't shake him off in my heart Link to post Share on other sites
davo1224 Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Been there sister. You're gonna run head on into a brick wall. He's going to keep telling you to back off until you've had enough then he'll paint himself out to be abandoned by you. He doesn't want to be with anyone, not personally opposed to you it seems. A lot of whoa-is-me old man bull****. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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