when do you let go??????????????

[Leslie]

I need to know when a something is really over between two people, when to let go, how to let go, and how to know when to do all these things

[D.]

Sometimes you know it is over and is time to let go when you realize it was never meant to be in the first place:

 

Not Meant To Be

 

There once was a time if I just closed my eyes,

 

I could see us together as one.

 

But after these years of growing apart,

 

I can see that dream is done.

 

You were the one who knew me inside and out,

 

And always knew just what to say.

 

Any problems I had would disappear,

 

When you said it would all be okay.

 

There was always a special connection with us,

 

And these days it seems to be gone.

 

Whatever we had died a long time ago,

 

But it's just so hard to move on.

 

Those times I'd drown in the blue of your eyes,

 

You never noticed a thing.

 

There were nights I laid awake and thought,

 

Of the love our friendship could bring.

 

No matter how hard I've been trying,

 

The truth is so hard to see.

 

I guess it takes a while to let go,

 

Of something not meant to be.

 

I did not write this and have forgotten the author's name. I am sorry. But it is a great poem that applies to so many posts I have read here.

 

I feel certain that others will have better advice to offer you. D.

[LT]

You know you need to let go (of anyone/anything) when you finally realize they aren't good for you anymore...not just neutral-not good but the bad kind of not-good. In other words, when things start getting destructive.

 

There was another sterling post by Tony a few back where he talked about happiness being each person's own responsibility. NO ONE CARES OR KNOWS HOW TO MAKE YOU HAPPY EXCEPT YOU. Not even your mom.

 

If and when you look around your own life and realize there's bunches of things in it that aren't helping you be happy then it's time to start jettisoning that excess baggage. The timing is up to you but start small, slow and pretty soon you'll see that as soon as you get rid of something "bad" in your life something really good comes along to fill it. Letting go of someone can be really hard and there's usually a "dry spell" between them and the next S.O. That hiatus is there for your benefit...use it to find ways to make yourself happy(ier)...I promise that when you figure out how to do that for yourself you'll have the answers to all your questions.

 

LT

 

I need to know when a something is really over between two people, when to let go, how to let go, and how to know when to do all these things

[Lulu]

When you have stopped growing emotionaly, spiritualy, intellectualy as an individual and as a couple. If it is not inspiring you or supporting you and your partner, it is destructive. Neutral is bad, since it wastes time and is lethargic. I am not talking about the high of first falling in love, either. Is your relationship helping you, your partner, and others? If not, try to nurture it or let it go.

[JENNI]

I need to know when a something is really over between two people, when to let go, how to let go, and how to know when to do all these things

Leslie,

 

you seem about as confused as i do in the since that my boyfriend and i are having problems also. someone wrote and told me some helpful things. they are listed under i still need help they will be under my name. i hope that they will help.