Tairasai Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 So right at the beginning of summer one of my best guy friends started to mention that he might like to be more than friends, not in a relationship, just have some fun. We have always been pretty close and we would talk everyday all the time, about anything and everything. So it happened pretty natrally...we had some good times over the summer break but when I mentioned I wanted more he said he didn't want to "complicate things" by being gf and bf, and honestly it would really complicate things, like we seriously couldn't realistically be together. So we were just fine with each other for a while...until he started to have less time for me. Then we would never talk and everytime we did it would end in an arguement about me having too much of an attitude or being a b*tch. I wasn't always like that but recently he hasn't seemed too into me...and I don't know how to talk to him to make things better. But it's kind of odd cause after every fight we always end up texting each other, maybe after a couple days, but it still happens. Then we make up and start the cycle over again till he says something else that's lacking in sensitivity and hurts my feelings. He's just not as sweet as he use to be, never says anything nice and doesn't realize that I just want his attention. So I was finally at my wits end a couple weeks ago, I wasn't getting the emotional support I wanted from him, so I decided to go on a date with someone who was. I told him about it and he got kind of mad, he said he wasn't expecting it and was actually going to invite me over that night, and that it was stupid, he got upset that I wanted someone else. But once I told him the date didn't go so well...he thought it was funny. So we continued as we had been...talking for a bit then fighting, making up and talking some more. I never get to see him anymore and he doesn't seem to want to hang out with me...but he doesnt mind talking to me still. I don't know what to think about him, or what I can do. I have been with other guys who are just in it for that one moment and move on without a second thought after that. Maybe chat the day after but never again. So I think he must care at least a little if he keeps talking to me even though we haven't done anything in months, granted it's not as often as it use to be, or as in depth..but he's still there. lol So now I'm not sure what to do with him or how to act, I don't even know what he wants and he won't tell me. He says he just wants sex and that I can do what I want but when I mention another guy he gets an attitude and maybe even a little depressed..last time he said I might as well stop talking to him then, and pretty much gave up. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I want an actual relationship, not sex. Should I keep looking and date other people? What do you think about him? Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 I don't even know what he wants and he won't tell me. He says he just wants sex and that I can do what I want ? I think you're doing yourself the disservice of over thinking this. You do know what he wants. He's told you what he wants: sex with no emotional commitment. Of course he gets upset when you date: he might lose the no strings attach sex you two have. If what you want is real emotional commitment, dump this guy and keep dating. Learn to date so that guys will take you seriously and not take you for a booty call. That means knowing what you want (a serious relationship) and never settling for less. Link to post Share on other sites
Odyssey Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 I don't want to hurt his feelings but I want an actual relationship, not sex. Should I keep looking and date other people? What do you think about him? I think he's already been quite clear to you want he wants and it's obvious you don't feel the same way. Nothing wrong with that, you have your boundaries. But make sure you stick them, even if it means hurting his feelings. If there's an ounce of a decent man in him, he will understand. Move on... Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 I am gonna repeat something I've said elsewhere. This pertains especially to women, but can pertain to some men as well. Women often enter into FWB relationships in hopes they may grow into something more. But this almost never happens. What women need to understand is that for many men, FWB is the ultimate win-win, have-my-cake-and-eat-it-too situation. They get frequent sex with a woman they like, plus the companionship her friendship offers. Yet, they don't have to shoulder any of the responsibilities of a real relationship. For this reason, men in FWB relationships almost never want to get more serious. If their FWB wants to get more serious, most men will end the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Peaceful Guy Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 They get frequent sex with a woman they like, plus the companionship her friendship offers. when you put it like that, it sounds just any romantic relationship.. so what makes FWB different? just not being sensitive to each others feelings? agreeing that you dont have them? it's one of those things that's seems mature, but only in the sense that kids know better. Link to post Share on other sites
Peaceful Guy Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 sorry bout that last post Tairasai, i just liked what ADF said. to you though.. you sound pretty legit about this guy, but it sucks to hear that he "only wants sex". im assuming he doesnt totally suck, because you like him.. but from the outside it sounds pretty bad. he's using you.. god that sucks to say.. im sorry.. im sure there's more to it than that but i think you should get away from this relationship and into one that's more amicable.. one with someone who treats you awesome i mean. Link to post Share on other sites
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