r Posted June 7, 2000 Share Posted June 7, 2000 I met this guy on my birthday three weeks ago. We started talking about this and that and I also told him that in one and a half months I´m going to anonther country for two years for something I have to do. He drove me home, and when we got to my house I looked at him and waited for him to say something but he didn´t say anything. So I decided to act myself and asked him if he had a girlfriend - and when he said no I gave him my phone number and was sure he wouldn´t call. But he called the next day and we talked for 3 hours. The next day we went out. At first things went quite slowly and I although I liked him I wasn´t crazy about him. We met about 4 times a week and slowly got closer to each other. I don´t know exactly when it happened but sometime in the last week something in me clicked. I look at him and I melt from his eyes. I think about him all day long and can´t wait for the time we´ll meet. When I´m with him I just think what I can do for him to make him happy. I think I´m in love - and I never felt this way before. But all this time there was the fact that I have to leave soon hanging above us. And he works here and can´t leave. Yesterday he called me and said he´ll come over later but he didn´t come. I waited for him till real late and tried to call him up but he didn´t answer. Finally I went to sleep. Today when I came back from the university I found a letter from him saying that after knowing each other for 2 months we won´t survive 2 years of not being together and it will be easier for us to break up now than in a month. I don´t know what to think - if maybe he´s just taking this as an excuse to leave me or if he´s really scared of what will be. I am scared too but I want to spend the time I still have with him and later we´ll see what happens. And I can´t stand the thought of never seeing him again. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 7, 2000 Share Posted June 7, 2000 I'm with this guy 100 percent. How could you have let yourself fall so deeply in love with someone you knew you would be leaving shortly for two whole years. This guy's doing you a big favor. You seem to want the convenience of seeing him until you leave and then breaking his heart big time. That's pretty selfish. And what about yourself. If you really love this guy, you have to let him move on because you're going to be out of the country. Giving you the benefit of the doubt, from your description it sounds like you grew to love him over a period of time, which unfortunately in your case is the best and most real kind of love. It's too bad you're leaving. But YOU let yourself do it by continuing to see him. Now you can show more REAL love by letting him go as he wishes. He's pretty smart and sane and wants to cut short the pain and heartbreak of your leaving by not getting even deeper into this thing. It is impractical for him to think you will see no others for two years...and even more irrational for you to think this dude won't be bedding the gals while you are away. Look at this as a pleasant experience and enjoy your time overseas. Except for the fact that he got sucked into this a little too far, this is a pretty sharp guy who's looking out for both of you and doing the right thing. Be mature about this and let him go. Don't make him feel any worse than he already does!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Princess Posted June 7, 2000 Share Posted June 7, 2000 Dear r, This is very sad that your man is acting this way. What I think is that he's been anticipating what was going to happen (you leaving) and he just thinks that he can't deal with that. I think you need to talk to him, and ask him if what he said in the letter is really how he feels. I can't believe that he's been with you for 2 months and he really doesn't think that you guys can be together, you said it was going great. Good Luck, Princess Link to post Share on other sites
r Posted June 8, 2000 Share Posted June 8, 2000 Yesterday after work I went to his house and had a talk with him. I told him that even if we decide that it really is the best that we break up, I´d rather we talk about it and go away knowing we said it all and not with open ends. He said he just didn´t know how to say it otherwise. I told him again that I would like to spend the remaining time with him, and when I´ll leave we´ll see what happens between us - but he said that would be too painful for both of us. Before I left I told him that I had a great time with him and that he´s a great guy and I hope he´ll find someone who will make him feel good. And I told him it was very noble of him to think about my feelings and not just go on and have his fun, and that I appreciate it. Then I hugged him, kissed him on the cheek and left. I know I´m gonna have a couple of hard days but maybe it is the best this way. I just wish I had met him under different circumstances. Link to post Share on other sites
r Posted June 8, 2000 Share Posted June 8, 2000 Thanks for your response. Read my answer to Tony to see what happened. I also think these whole circumstances are totally tragic. But I guess that´s the way life is. Good luck with your love. r Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 8, 2000 Share Posted June 8, 2000 No, you met him under the RIGHT circumstances. And you will meet Mr. RIGHT under the RIGHT circumstances as well. And you never know, maybe he will come back some day and be Mr. RIGHT. But move on and don't count on it. Link to post Share on other sites
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