What happens now?

[Auroracoladybug]

You have said what needed to be said...I think that is honorable...I too have told J many times that I don't want the divorce but it is the only thing I knew he wanted and I have hopes for us in the future.

[Aksion]

Quick question for anybody that may have the answer.

 

Is it normal for your spouse to not talk to you at all?

 

I mean, I don't by any means think that I was a 'perfect husband' in our marriage -- but I can't for any reason at all seem to understand why she won't even respond.

 

Should I even want her to respond to me? Its still tearing me up inside every night and I haven't a clue what to do. I've been doing things to keep my mind off of it during the day, but at night, when I'm all alone at home, all I can think about is things like "What the hell did I really do that was so bad that she left?" or "I know I wasn't always so attentive, but she always knew I loved her". The woman even went as far as changing her marital status to 'single' on her facebook/myspace -- I don't even know if I she came knocking on the door if I would take her back even if she wanted me to at this point..

[JaneDoe35]

I think it may be the guilt that makes them stop talking.

 

My husband still talks to me, sometimes I would describe him as chatty. But in person I can see guilt all over his face and then he does not want to talk & runs away.

 

It is not you that makes them stop talking. You could be the most perfect reasonable person right now and she still wouldn't talk you. It is about what she has done and the fact that you are a huge reminder of that.

 

We all ask ourselves 'WHY' is this happening. But unfortunately we wont get any answers that make much sense right now.

 

I know it is so hard to stop wondering. I think about him/us every waking moment.

[Logik]

I don't know bro. My wife deleted me off her Facebook and my whole family too. Twitter as well. I suppose it's better because then I don't have any urges to go and see what she's up to and hurt myself in the process. Maybe she's feeling too guilty to even talk to you or she's still very angry.

 

Do you still update your FB/MySpace/Twitter status? If so, stop updating. She's probably checking up on you and getting all the info she needs from there. This way she doesn't have to contact you to see what up. If this is the case, she'll eventually call since she's got no other source of info.

[Aksion]

Yeah I still update my facebook but I have it set to private so she can't view anything. Maybe I'm just hoping she will call...though like I said, I don't think I could take her back even if that's what she wanted.

[Logik]

Yeah I still update my facebook but I have it set to private so she can't view anything. Maybe I'm just hoping she will call...though like I said, I don't think I could take her back even if that's what she wanted.

 

Wait for the roller coaster. It's coming.

 

And don't post anything on Facebook. She could be talking to somebody who can see your status.

[Aksion]

Nah, nobody I have on the facebook she knows.

 

..and what rollercoaster?

[tojaz]

Read some threads and you'll see the rollercoaster. Check out Apart & Shaken, Lupa's been through one hell of a ride. The rollercoaster are the intense up's and downs your going to be feeling. Loving her one minute and hating her the next. Be ready, it's a rough ride that never seems to end although it does slow down.

TOJAZ

[Aksion]

So I found out yesterday afternoon that I can actually get our seperation and divorce done in less than 6 months in my state as long as she cooperates and signs.

 

New question though.

 

Since she has seemingly given up all interest in communicating, should I even bother to let her know that these papers will be coming? I still can't believe that after all these years she has no feelings for me/us at all, so I don't want to hurt her in anyway, I just don't know if letting her know would even matter.