FredMerc Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 (edited) Aurora, well I guess that I was the only one who had a wife who wanted a new Lexus, a new kitchen, the biggest house we could buy, all the latest fashions and $500 shoes, $500- $700 a month on private dancing lessons, while I was the primary bread-winner, facing medical problems that are career threatening, and I drive a 8 year old car, never thought of buying any of the things (toys) you describe, and anguished over buying myself even a new computer when the old one died because of our precarious financial situation. She put the pedal to the floor spending wise and basically drove the financial car into the ditch, and kept the pedal down until the engine blew, then got out and walked away... So, I guess the movie indeed was perfect for all marriages, my mistake... Edited October 13, 2009 by FredMerc Link to post Share on other sites
Auroracoladybug Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 FredMerc...no need to be bitter...no movie, no advice, no solution will ever be perfect for all marriages. I am sorry that your wife treated you that way and was in no way responsible. I just think for every wife out there like that there is a husband who is the same...I think you and I could agree that it is a work in progress for anyone Link to post Share on other sites
FredMerc Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 FredMerc...no need to be bitter... There is no need for that. It is not accurate or nice. no movie, no advice, no solution will ever be perfect for all marriages. I am sorry that your wife treated you that way and was in no way responsible. I just think for every wife out there like that there is a husband who is the same...I think you and I could agree that it is a work in progress for anyone Your point plays into my criticism of the movie. Why not have a more nuanced approach to the film, instead of the husband is an ahole and any faults the wife has is because her husband is an ahole? Anyway, I gave my opinions. It is just a movie, and in my opinion not a particularly good one. Though I do like the message of "Never leave your spouse behind." Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted October 14, 2009 Author Share Posted October 14, 2009 PW, I was not directing the comment at you personally, but at the movie... Tojaz, the movie made the financial issue into her wanting the money for a good, charitable cause (It has been a while since I have seen it, but I didn't think it was for her mother, but medical supplies for a charity?), but the point a lot of people came away with (from reading discussion threads on it at various sites) was that the husband needs to turn control over to the wife, as if saving for the future was some sort of niggling characteristic. In real life how many maritial financial squabbles do you think are about the wife wanting to give money to charity, and how many are about her wanting what she saw on TV, on some design or kitchen re-model show etc, and the family having much more important needs? Watch it again Freddy! Or don't. The problem with many of the online discussions that I have seen is that people tend to superimpose their own marriage onto the story line and the details get lost. The film is about one marriage with it's own unique problems and challenges, not a step by step guide. The W never asks the H for the money for the medical supplies (which are for her mother who had a stroke), that argument or much of any discussion is given to finances throughout the film. The H is saving for a boat for himself, but as a gesture to his W takes those savings and puts them toward the W's needs. My take was that it was him putting his W before his own selfish desires. Not a remodel or a new car for herself, but something to assist her ailing mother. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 PW, I was not directing the comment at you personally, but at the movie... I know you weren't but I was just sharing because some of us were treating our spouses improper even though we didn't realize it. Hard to believe for some don't you think? But for me I thought I was doing what a husband suppose to do... Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Ok, the problem I have with the movie: First off it may be good for some marital situations, but do you really need a movie to tell you to stop being an ahole to your wife? Secondly, in our culture now there is a very real problem with woman not being fiscally responsible and then painting the guy as bad, or having control issues if he will not let her spend them into bankruptcy, or if he tries to look out for their future, and this movie plays right into that. IMO. I think there is a proliferation of that attitude in our culture and it is epitomized by the credit card commercial where the woman uses the credit card points that the husband wanted to use for them to take a vacation, to buy herself a dress without even talking to him. Oh well, dude, another year of working with no vacation, but your wife got what she wanted..... You are a team, and you need to work together. One thing, I agree that you are a team and have to work together, but not sure what version of the movie you were watching. I take it that you think this woman was greedy because her mother needed help and her husband put his own needs for a boat above ailing parents. Boy, I would hate to be your mother. And, on another note, not all women are financially unable to take care of themselves....some of them get caught up with men who think money grows on trees and so the vice versa happens as well. This is an equal country now and women get financially vicitmized just as much as men in a marriage for that matter. I think you need to take another look at that movie because your post makes no sense to me on the value of the message. Link to post Share on other sites
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