??

[ralph1319]

well ive been separated since april. i have tried everything counseling and im still going to this day. i have read some books tried the NC but i end up txting her after a week or so but maybe 2x a week or so.But my question is what do i do to get her out of my mind.of what shes doing who shes with. sometimes i get pictures in my head of her being with another guy and that hurts like no other.i thought being separated for this long id be better but i feel like its hitting me like when we first split up.i just cant give up on her. i know its dumb but in my mind i cant give up on someone ive been with for almost 18 years together and 16 years married this nov.ive tried working more but i still think of her ive excerise and shes still in my head no matter what i do shes there ive tried to visit a diffrent state for a vacation but shes in my head there.id wonder if shed like what i was seeing. ive tried everything i dont know what to do now.im stuck.i still see her when we watch my daughters play softball..but when i see her i dont talk about us but i find myself talking about my day or whats going on with me well after she ask. but i want to move forward but i just dont know how or how to get thoughts out of my head about her.if anyone can tell me what they did to get over the thoughts the feelings everything that has to do with all the pain of losing some1 you love so very much and also maybe getting rid of this hope i still have.

[delajoonal]

ralph...i am right there with you....nearly 8 months later...i am actually sitting here crying...STILL...everyday of my life..i cry...i am sad, depressed, angry...every emotion that is bad....the thoughts of my H and OW are killing me...slowly something inside of me is dying...

 

i think mine got worse because it was suppose to be just a few weeks long onine EA that ended ...months ago...but recently, about 8 weeks ago, i found out that they, my H and OW, have been together this ENTIRE time!

 

the humiliation alone, brought me to my knees that day...

i will NEVER forget the feeling in my GUT..i was literally doubled over in pain...

 

and since...i just keep going down hill..worse everyday..

 

bad enough i asked my doctor for anti-depressants...2 weeks into them..NOTHING...i am not sure there is a pill that can fix this mess:o

 

didn't mean to hi-jack your thread..BUT i wanted you to know you are NOT ALONE...

 

just not sure what we can do?

 

sorry you are feeling this way too..i would never wish this pain ON anyone...

(except my H's OW)

[Auroracoladybug]

If you forget them you lose the lesson...it doesn't matter who the OW/OM is because they value them more than us...does that make us worth less? No! they are worth less because they are the ones who did not value us. Dela give it two more weeks for the drugs to affect your system and remind yourself of the CRAP that the ex put you thru...would you put up with that happening to your son or a friend? Ralph I can't give you any advice to get rid of here because she will always be there with the daughter...honestly you are in control of only yourself you can wait and stay seperated if it is working out but you can also do as you need to for time and peace...good for you for going on vacation don't let her decision not to be there make you enjoy it less just think about how much she is missing out on because of her choice...I know easier said than done

[ralph1319]

hi dela no worries about you venting on my thread its all good let it out.As for me im hoping there is no other guy as of yet but who knows.how long have you been married?i got married @ 20 years of age im 37 now.we have been married going on 16 years.but i guess it'll ONLY BE 15.ive heard those pills work just give it time.im so very sorry you have to go through this crap like i am. i wouldnt wish this on anyone.if you ever need to vent to talk about whats going on with you.hit me up.i dont know how to do it here lol but if you can and youd like too feel free.maybe we can help each other out get through this. i hope you well.. keep in touch..

[Beebie]

Ralph, my head's in the same place as yours right now. I just wish I knew what to do to "switch off" for a while, but I'm finding it so hard.

 

Do you have friends/family who you can meet up/go out with? It's hard to face the outside world, I know, but people keep telling me it's the best thing to do, and they're right.

 

My sister went through her devastating break-up 6 years ago and she keeps telling me I WILL recover, one day. Keep posting here Ralph and let it out. So many of us are going through the same thing and WE ARE LISTENING!