anthronerd85 Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 Okay so I been working at my job for about 3 two months and its been great so far. I get along really well with all my co-workers, however, I been noticing that one of my coworkers likes to tease me, we bicker for any little thing…is all in good fun, but also he’s been flirting with me, he has a girlfriend, which to my understanding they been in a long time relationship and don’t see each other often. I’m actually dating, and maybe I’m just reading this into much, but, I really don’t want to misinterpret things, Okay so here are some examples if I’m making copies or working on something on the computer he will call me by my name just to distract me and he smiles or he would just ask a simple question just to get my attention, if I return a document or something else he would manage to get closer to me, he steps into my personal space things like that. In addition, on one occasion I was writing a proposal and was on a timeline, I was just really focus on my work and it was time to leave home but I hadn’t finish the proposal so I stayed for like an hour or so at the office. It seem that everyone had left except him and I, I thought he was going to leave as soon as the clock hit 6pm, he then came to my office and asked me what I was doing I told him and since I wanted to finished I said “Well, have a nice weekend, see you Monday” he then told me “would you like me to help you?” with a big smile on his face. I said it was fine didn’t want to keep him from doing what he needed to do, he said that it wasn’t a problem that he said that he was happy to help me and that helping me was better than doing other stuff. I just do know what to do…he does many other things he waits for me went we get out from the office, walks me to my car, we have talked more about our own personal lives; I feel that I have a developed a nice friendship with him and don’t want to ruined that. My gut tells me that he’s just flirting, what can I do? Link to post Share on other sites
memorygospel Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 Okay well this situation seems kinda similiar to me but from the opposite point of view seeing that I'm a guy. Anyways so there was a girl I was working with who I liked only to find out she had a boyfriend later on. Although the whole time I was flirting with her (a couple weeks) before she "subtly" mentioned she was seeing someone she responded really well and flirted back alot just like you described. Well seeing I'm not the type of guy to break up relationships I didn't try to push things and just continued to have fun and flirt with her while keeping the friendship intact. Eventually she was the one that again "subtly" mentioned she broke up with her boyfriend and was available again so things just went on from there. So the fact that she was in a relationship was definately the thing that held me back from making a move initially but in your case the roles are reversed. I'd definately have to say that the guy is interested in you but is being held back by the fact that he is already in a relationship. I mean things like trying to get closer to you and going out of his way to help you out is are definate signs in my opinion. My advice would be to just continue things the way the are for the time being, if you've really done a number on him and he really likes you he'll more than likely make a move and his intentions will be cleared up. Hope I could be of some help! Link to post Share on other sites
Double Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Even if he is flirting (sounds like he is), that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Some people just flirt, and it doesn't mean that they are interested in the object of their flirtations. Link to post Share on other sites
memorygospel Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Um I'm not sure what planet your living on but I definately do not flirt with a girl who I'm not interested in and find attractive I mean you would have to be a real ******* to lead on someone like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Double Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Um I'm not sure what planet your living on but I definately do not flirt with a girl who I'm not interested in and find attractive I mean you would have to be a real ******* to lead on someone like that. No, some people just enjoy flirting. A lot of people just interact that way, and light flirting with someone of the same sex is actually how a lot of friendships start. Just because you only flirt with people you're interested in doesn't mean that everyone is just like you. Well, maybe on memorygospel planet that's the case. But not in the real world. Link to post Share on other sites
eeyore1981 Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 No, some people just enjoy flirting. A lot of people just interact that way, and light flirting with someone of the same sex is actually how a lot of friendships start. Just because you only flirt with people you're interested in doesn't mean that everyone is just like you. Well, maybe on memorygospel planet that's the case. But not in the real world. LOL! I'm guilty, I flirt a lot. Including same sex flirtations, though I am 100% straight. It has come back a few times to bite me in the butt, but for the most part, the recipient seems to enjoy it, and I like making people happy. Link to post Share on other sites
memorygospel Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 No, some people just enjoy flirting. A lot of people just interact that way, and light flirting with someone of the same sex is actually how a lot of friendships start. Just because you only flirt with people you're interested in doesn't mean that everyone is just like you. Well, maybe on memorygospel planet that's the case. But not in the real world. Alright I know some people just generally like to flirt alot but in the majority of cases they would do so with someone they fancy wouldn't you agree? Besides if someone does actually just flirt with someone to get something they want it is totally wrong and misleading. But in this case the guy is actually going out of his way to help her out and get closer to her so this definately isn't just someone who enjoys randomly flirting with people. Link to post Share on other sites
Double Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 (edited) Alright I know some people just generally like to flirt alot but in the majority of cases they would do so with someone they fancy wouldn't you agree? No, I disagree. I think I already said that. Besides if someone does actually just flirt with someone to get something they want it is totally wrong and misleading. That's fine, you're entitled to your opinion. But people flirt for all kinds of reasons, with people of the same sex and with people of the opposite sex, and not always because they want something. There are degrees of flirting, but it is definitely a fundamental way people interact with each other...even straight people with people of the same sex. Hitting on someone you're not interested in might be misleading; heavily flirting might be misleading. Just a light, playful manner? Nope. But in this case the guy is actually going out of his way to help her out and get closer to her so this definately isn't just someone who enjoys randomly flirting with people. You may be right; however I would refrain from using the absolute "definitely." (Or "definately" as the case may be.) I find this guy's behavior, as described by the OP, as inappropriate for someone in a relationship. I don't think much of it sounds much like flirting (waiting around for her to get out of work and walking her to her car is not flirting). I think the OP should set some clear boundaries with this guy. You have a very memorygospel-centric point of view. Edited October 13, 2009 by Double Link to post Share on other sites
memorygospel Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 I don't know what you consider flirting then if you interpret straight same sex people playing around as it lol. Oh I didn't realize we were in a spelling bee smart ass... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 also he’s been flirting with me, he has a girlfriend, which to my understanding they been in a long time relationship and don’t see each other often. I’m actually dating, and maybe I’m just reading this into much, but, I really don’t want to misinterpret things Then don't. He has a girlfriend and you're dating someone. Seems pretty clear to me Link to post Share on other sites
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