Empathy Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 (edited) I'm not sure if this is the right forum, but here goes. I've been with my girlfriend for a year and seven months. Before we got together, she dated this guy who was rich, nice, but it ended because of some small mishap. Anyway, this guy has stepped back into her life recently; I found out that he's been walking her to class every now and then. And just a few hours ago, she told me that she liked him, but still loved me. Though apparently the guy doesn't like her. My girlfriend knows this, and yet, still likes him so much that I asked her to "Choose me or him. If you love me, it should overpower your 'like' for him, right?" Though she was still hesitant, and thus gave me no answer. The dude is nice, and lives on a mountain with a big ass house. But apparently the guy does one night stands, has the tendency to cheat, and takes drugs such as Ecstasy. I talked to him directly, and apparently he says he does not like my girlfriend in that way. I've been doing everything in my power as a good boyfriend, until recently. I've been neglecting her recently for small things. And apparently she's been crying secretly because of it. I have a feeling it may be my fault that she's taken a liking to this guy. Anyway, apparently I have until this Thursday to set things right before she decides whether or not she leaves me. I can tell that she loves me a lot... but I can also see that she likes that guy... a lot. I'm at a loss. My heart is torn, and I can't even sleep. I've never felt so lost. I love her more than anything I can ever imagine, and I don't know what to do. Should I just give it up? We've been through sooo much together, and I don't want it to end here. Should I wait for her to make a move? Or maybe I should show her the best time I can give her? I want to tell her to stay away from him, and I want him to stay away from her, but they're friends. What do you guys think? Edited October 12, 2009 by Empathy Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmasMuse Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 I'm sorry this is happening. However, why would you even want to continue to be with a girl who, has a interest in another guy? She loves you but likes him. Surely she means more than a friend correct? She sounds immature, and unsure of right many things. If she can't make up her mind what she wants, you make it up for her. Break it off and wish her well. You should think better of yourself than to play second fiddle to another person. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 She's secretly playing both of you, believe it or not if she was serious about you alls relationship she would have had boundries. correct. Let her find out another girl flirts and walks with you to class. She would have blew her top! Anyway's dont get too involved emtionally moved with her and you wont be hurt when she does stab you in the back. it is inevitable... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Empathy Posted October 12, 2009 Author Share Posted October 12, 2009 She said she can't help it if her feelings are this way. I can't help but feel that because of my recent neglectfulness, she's taken a liking to this guy because he's been giving her the attention that I've been lacking. Sigh. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 She said she can't help it if her feelings are this way. I can't help but feel that because of my recent neglectfulness, she's taken a liking to this guy because he's been giving her the attention that I've been lacking. Sigh. *sigh lol, well it's time you went out and made some close female friends. I mean you just cant help feeling that way... Sounds to me she's already plotting to leave, that's why I told you to keep your distance emotionally. That's how some women are... I wouldnt even be dating her if she could openly, blatantly be thinking about someone else and to have the nerve to throw it in my face? WTF are you two guys together. that's no relationship. Take it from me, you should just drop her. sounds like she doesnt understand the concept of loyalty or respect or even love. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmasMuse Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 *sigh lol, well it's time you went out and made some close female friends. I mean you just cant help feeling that way... Sounds to me she's already plotting to leave, that's why I told you to keep your distance emotionally. That's how some women are... I wouldnt even be dating her if she could openly, blatantly be thinking about someone else and to have the nerve to throw it in my face? WTF are you two guys together. that's no relationship. Take it from me, you should just drop her. sounds like she doesnt understand the concept of loyalty or respect or even love. I agree with CB. Even if you have been neglecting her recently you are obviously now aware of it, and even said you were trying to make things right. Not that is right you were neglecting her, BUT that doesn't mean she should just go out and start liking another guy and throw it in your face. That sounds childish and immature. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Empathy Posted October 12, 2009 Author Share Posted October 12, 2009 Well she didn't bluntly throw it in my face, she told me she had something to talk about. She said I may not be able to take it, but I made her spit it out... and now I'm here pulling an all-nighter. I know I may be blinded by my own love for her, but what if I were to show her the best time I can give her? I have until Thursday before she "decides". She's shown me so much love and care for me this past year and seven months that I just can't believe that she would take a liking to this guy. I want to think that she's just confused. I know I seem really hopeless here. I did want to let her go when I first heard of it. But it's too difficult... At first she told me I had until Thursday to show that I won't neglect her and etc anymore, then I told HER that SHE has until Thursday to decide whether it's me or no one. Was that the right choice? I'm sorry if I'm annoying anyone with my denial. It's just... very hard for me right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Dude get your balls up she's giving you a choice!!?!? WTF she's the idiot for cheating and she's giving you a decision on thursday and throws it in your face. Mayn tell her to loose your number and drop the ho... You need to utilize your anger, because being depressed right now isnt gonna help! Link to post Share on other sites
blair08 Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Maybe you should bust your butt really hard to salvage things between now and Thursday since that is your cut off day for her to decide. To me, it sounds like you are making excuses for her. If you want to remain in the situation and continue to be used then do so. I think you are beating yourself up over the fact you have neglected her. I mean it seems you realized it and are trying to make it up to her but she still doesn't want any part of it. You said you talked to this guy and he tells you he isn't interested in her. You know he could be lying right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Empathy Posted October 12, 2009 Author Share Posted October 12, 2009 Yeah I do... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Empathy Posted October 13, 2009 Author Share Posted October 13, 2009 Well. She dumped me. And I feel like crap. Though for some reason, I also don't give a damn. I mean... even if I was being neglectful... it just feels screwed up to have her rebound with another guy already. I even swallowed my pride and called her asking for another chance, but she was busy watching a movie and laughed. Well. Time to make some lady friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Well. She dumped me. And I feel like crap. Though for some reason, I also don't give a damn. I mean... even if I was being neglectful... it just feels screwed up to have her rebound with another guy already. I even swallowed my pride and called her asking for another chance, but she was busy watching a movie and laughed. Well. Time to make some lady friends. Well I told you the end was coming. it was inevitable. now here comes the hard part. The part where if things dont work out with the rebound she'll be knocking at your door. The idea of this time in between is to work on you, do things that interest you! And it's good that you was detached when she broke up with you... It's a very good thing and it's good that you should meet some new female friends. It shows her that your no chump or pushover. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 ...and whatdoyaknow. It's not even thursday! Dont sweat it she isnt worth the mindspace. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Empathy Posted October 13, 2009 Author Share Posted October 13, 2009 Yeah... she was good to me though. It's surprising how a girl can just turn on you in an instant. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Empathy Posted October 13, 2009 Author Share Posted October 13, 2009 If you guys want, here's a story of what I went through yesterday and the day before. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2432553#post2432553 Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 You can move on with your life now and hopefully find someone who treats you better and wants to be with just you. Link to post Share on other sites
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