wheredowegofromhere Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 My husband and I have been very close friends with another couple for years. We spend holidays together, birthdays together, take vacations together, etc. My husband and the girl are very much like brother and sister and have had this relationship since long before we met. She was the one to set us up actually. Her husband and my husband are friendly, but I would not consider them close friends. However, over the past few years he and I have become very close friends. I still talk to the girl almost daily, but I am now texting the guy almost daily as well. The texts aren't flirty really, but number almost 200 per month back and forth. While our spouses are aware that we have become very close friends and know that we text, I'm not sure they know the amount we text. Are we headed into rocky territory or have I just made a great platonic friend that I should be thankful I have? Even if texts are filled with sexual innuendo, is it possible to build sexual attraction by the shear number of times we talk throughout the week. It started where we would text once a week or every other week to now we text pretty much daily! I don't think my feelings for him are inappropriate, but I've never had a friend of the opposite sex that I was this close to. Like I said we have never lied to either of our spouses that we text and talk, but I just don't think they realize exactly how much we do it....and does that even matter? Link to post Share on other sites
Rylle Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 This sounds so familiar.... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t202891/ Link to post Share on other sites
Double Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Indeed....what kinds of answers are you looking for?? And how do you feel about it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author wheredowegofromhere Posted October 12, 2009 Author Share Posted October 12, 2009 Very similar indeed. Actually seeing that post is what made me join and post here. I don't know what answers I'm looking for. My husband/ his wife know about our relationship w/o question. At the end of the day I may mention the texts of the day...I may not. If my husband and I are having a conversation a few days/ weeks later and something similar had came up in a text w/ my friend I'll mention it. I really didn't even realize how much we texted until I got my bill. As I stated we don't get flirty in the texts or anything and I feel, at this point, strictly platonic with him. I just wonder if there really is such a thing? Can 2 people get this close, and remain this close, and sexual emotions never get involved? Link to post Share on other sites
Author wheredowegofromhere Posted October 12, 2009 Author Share Posted October 12, 2009 I just realized a MAJOR typo in my original post. The sentence that reads "Even if texts are filled with sexual innuendo, is it possible to build sexual attraction by the shear number of times we talk throughout the week." SHOULD read "Even if texts are NOT filled with sexual innuendo, is it possible to build sexual attraction by the shear number of times we talk throughout the week." Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 i think the fact that both spouses aren't aware of the number of times contact is made and that you are questioning this makes it suspicious that you have considered the other H as someone you MAY be interested in. the fact that you are hiding SOME part of the communication is a red flag. if there's nothing to hide - there's nothing to hide. i think you want more and aren't even willing to admit this to yourself. you're playing with fire... it's only a matter of time until you get yourselves in too deep and can't turn back. you have the ability NOW to change the outcome... step WAY back, way back. otherwise your M is likely to take a big hit and all your lives will be turned upside down without the ability to recover without a ton of repair. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Here's the thing... Have you asked him this? And have you asked him if he actually sees you in a sexual light, in any way? That would answer an awful lot of your ponderings...... Link to post Share on other sites
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