lfc_greg_lfc Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Ok basically I kissed my best friends girlfriend, it was a silly drunken mistake which happend about 2 months ago and he only found out last night, i tried to apologise many times but he just says he wants absoutley nothing to do with me which i fully respect and understand.. however, this may sound rash but it was only a kiss? It only happend once and is probably the biggest regret of my life.. can anybody give me any adivce? Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 In all honesty, he can't trust you. It may have only been a kiss, and I'm sure you regret it, but if you can kiss his girl, what else can you do? Friends don't do that to each other, drunk or sober. He probably thinks you are attracted to her, and wouldn't be able to trust you around her, or any other girl he goes out with. Did she tell him? He may come around, but that's up to him. Give him time, apologise etc. But then the ball is in his court. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 You can't "blame it on the booze" -- alcohol doesn't make you do things. It simply lowers what would otherwise be your inhibitions against doing things you wouldn't do while sober. The fact that you found your best friend's girl attractive and wanted to kiss her isn't wrong. The fact that you did it, is. Sweetz is right. At the moment, your friend feels like he can't trust you. Friends -- especially best friends -- are supposed to have each other's back. Your actions demonstrated to him that it's not the case with you. All you can do is give it time. He'll either forgive you, or he won't. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Just curious but how did he find out? Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Ok basically I kissed my best friends girlfriend, it was a silly drunken mistake which happend about 2 months ago and he only found out last night, i tried to apologise many times but he just says he wants absoutley nothing to do with me which i fully respect and understand.. however, this may sound rash but it was only a kiss? doesn't matter if it was a kiss or a full blown boink......you are suppose to be his friend. he can no longer rely on you or trust you. And if he wants nothing to do with you, then I hope he has dumped his untrustworthy girlfriend. It only happend once and is probably the biggest regret of my life.. so if I were to make out with your girl...or screw her ONLY ONCE, then its ok? dont try to rationalize it by saying it only happened once. can anybody give me any adivce? if your "friend" doesn't want anything to do with you, then leave him be. If he wants to make amends, then he will come to you. cause for one thing, if you get him back as a friend, then he will be gunshy having any new girl around you thinking you want her too. he won't trust you around any of his gf's from here on out. Thats why if you and he are to be friends, it has to be his idea. otherwise, just leave him be. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Ok basically I kissed my best friends girlfriend, it was a silly drunken mistake which happend about 2 months ago and he only found out last night, i tried to apologise many times but he just says he wants absoutley nothing to do with me which i fully respect and understand.. however, this may sound rash but it was only a kiss? It only happend once and is probably the biggest regret of my life.. can anybody give me any adivce? His reaction is understandable. Give him time and space - approach him later and tell him you want to grab a beer. Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 You should consider yourself lucky. If any friend of mine ever tried this, he would be spitting teeth. If you kissed your friend's GF, then you are no friend at all. If you really want to make it up to him, let him kiss your GF or maybe boink her one time as payback. Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 I would have beat the s*** out of you Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 It sucks when things like this happens. The problem is that if he chooses to stay with his girlfriend then you lose him as a friend so it's one or the other. I think you should let him come around and if he wants to talk to you he will. Next time don't drink to excess since booze can play dumb things in your mind. At least you didn't screw her. Lastly don't beat yourself over it. Don't listen to those who are judging you and not advising you. Like they know everything. It's you people that make me and some people just not want to care about your damn strict rules. Screw that... Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 I would have beat the s*** out of youWhat kind of advice is that anyways? Like you are so perfect in life... You're not.... Who cares about your strict morals/rules whatsoever... Just pathetic... Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 What kind of advice is that anyways? Like you are so perfect in life... You're not.... Who cares about your strict morals/rules whatsoever... Just pathetic... has nothing to do with morals genius, I was letting him know that he got off easy. Most guys aren't gonna stay friends with someone that does that. Link to post Share on other sites
cdt76 Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 You are a coward and dishonest. You violated something that he will probably never be able to forgive. I'm in the same situation, only now they are in a relationship. I will hate him until he is buried 6 feet deep. You should have been more of a man and thought about the other people in the situation instead of being so selfish. You feel guilty now only because he found out. Where was the guilt two months ago? You are selfish and a coward. Link to post Share on other sites
cdt76 Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 I would have beat the s*** out of you So if I kicked the sh$$ out of the "friend" my girlfriend cheated with that is all good? I'm at a loss, everyone says I can't kick his A$$!?? Confused. Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 has nothing to do with morals genius, I was letting him know that he got off easy. Most guys aren't gonna stay friends with someone that does that.And what's the point of starting a fight over it? Ok so you do suceed in beating up your friend and then what??? Is that gonna erase what happened or give you millions of dollars?? LOL You're funny.... Talk about childish attitude. I would not waste time in a cat fight if a friend of mine cheated with my boyfriend, why should I?? That is only proving that I care so much about them when I can just walk away and move on plus I won't be the one having criminal charges on me. I don't see why you post when you say nothing but a lame sentence. Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 You are a coward and dishonest. You violated something that he will probably never be able to forgive. I'm in the same situation, only now they are in a relationship. I will hate him until he is buried 6 feet deep. You should have been more of a man and thought about the other people in the situation instead of being so selfish. You feel guilty now only because he found out. Where was the guilt two months ago? You are selfish and a coward.zzzzzzzzzzz and you have say nothing but put labels on this poor guy asking for advice on what to do. Obviously he knows that already, it's not like you gotta be repeating the whole thing over again. Relying on what should have happened. He already did it, it's done already, why repeat the same BS again?? This reminds me never to post a thread here on infidelity if I ever were to either cheat or get myself in that situation. Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 That's probably a good idea, samsung, because you are as bitter and as rigid as the people you are criticizing. Link to post Share on other sites
Skump Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Alcohol sucks. Seriously. Holy hell, I think over half of the sob stories around here begin with drunken tomfoolery. Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 That's probably a good idea, samsung, because you are as bitter and as rigid as the people you are criticizing.Yup I'm sick of it. He asked for help not labels nor stating on how you would start a fight over it. I mean this is the infidelity thread afterall, it's where you get to hear from all sides, the cheetee, the cheater or the person involved in it. Not happy with it, too bad, I can careless about your venting frustrations or bad experience if that was my thread. It's like if all you got is all your emotional luggage venting mechanism because either your bad experience or what you went throught, then there's the venting forum. In other ways if you got nothing helpful to say then go somewhere else. Which reminds if I were ever in that position like that guy, I would put in bold letter.. If you wanna vent and got nothing helpful to say then write somewhere else... Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 The Op has the right to say anything to start his/her thread, even exactly what you just said. But in a public forum, as long as you are on topic, and keep within the rules. you can respond any way you want. That's why they call it........Free Speech......!:) Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 The Op has the right to say anything to start his/her thread, even exactly what you just said. But in a public forum, as long as you are on topic, and keep within the rules. you can respond any way you want. That's why they call it........Free Speech......!:)Yes it's one thing if you don't agree with something and state it in what way and then offer some suggestions to modify it and it's another to go straight in name calling and insulting the person who put an effort telling what happened. Come to think of it there are ways of calling someone stupid without saying it straight out, and the person won't even notice you just insulted them lol. But you go on to saying it straight forward, well you just granted an argument. At least with me, I would be going all day arguing with you till I left you with no more words to say... Link to post Share on other sites
cdt76 Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 So you as a "friend" would do the same thing as the OP? If that is the case and you condone it, then you are no better than he. There is a reason people make friends and that is because there is a bond and trust that is developed over time. If you are willing to sacrifice that bond for a kiss or a screw then you do not deserve that bond. It's simple. TRUST and FRIENDSHIP are more important that anything. And you call it labeling?! Where was the label of guilt right after he did the act? Why is he only guilty now that his "friend" found out? Answer that?! Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 So you as a "friend" would do the same thing as the OP? If that is the case and you condone it, then you are no better than he. There is a reason people make friends and that is because there is a bond and trust that is developed over time. If you are willing to sacrifice that bond for a kiss or a screw then you do not deserve that bond. It's simple. TRUST and FRIENDSHIP are more important that anything. And you call it labeling?! Yes we already know he broken a bond with his friend, enough already with it. What's done is done. There is no what should have, shouldn't have happened. So it's irrelevant to go on crying over spill milk... And I never stated I would do the same thing. I only said that I would feel guilty if I did that and to keep putting me labels, I mean come on, I'm already beating myself over it, do I need more sarcastic remarks??? Where was the label of guilt right after he did the act? Why is he only guilty now that his "friend" found out? Answer that?!So he did it, what now? Basically you have said nothing. As for why is he guilty when his friend found out, I assume he already felt guilty before but wanted to try get over it and proceed as a normal day. Link to post Share on other sites
cdt76 Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 He should do the right thing and stop being "friends" with the guy AND the girl. He does not deserve the friendship and trust he had. As for the girl who kissed him, she and the boyfriend will have to work that out on their own. But this guy has to make a choice in his life for the future. Does he want to be honorable, have integrity and character or does he want to be selfish and foolish? Do the right thing. Leave them alone, go get new friends, start fresh and make a choice to become a better person. Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 And what's the point of starting a fight over it? Ok so you do suceed in beating up your friend and then what??? Is that gonna erase what happened or give you millions of dollars?? LOL You're funny.... Talk about childish attitude. I would not waste time in a cat fight if a friend of mine cheated with my boyfriend, why should I?? That is only proving that I care so much about them when I can just walk away and move on plus I won't be the one having criminal charges on me. I don't see why you post when you say nothing but a lame sentence. Ya I guess nobody in the history of the earth has ever gotten in fight over a girl. It is completely unheard of. I am so grateful that I have some intellectually superior individual such as yourself to point this out. It called acting on emotion and everyone does this sometime in their life. Don't pretend like you are above it. Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 samsunxox, also you keep saying that I called him a name and labeled him, can you please tell me what name I called him? Link to post Share on other sites
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