Weird situation with best friend / crush.

[Beatnik]

OK this is going to be pretty long winded, but thats because this is my friends problem, not mine.

 

Ok theres this girl and she and I have been best friends for about a year and a half now. I met her because originally I was interested in her, so I asked for her number, but at the time she was just starting a relationship. So she told me she could only be my friend for the time being. Well that relationship never went anywhere, so I closed in. I believed we were hitting it off pretty well (we went to a concert together), but a week later she started going out with some dude she just met. So I got mad because she was sending me mixed signals (i.e. she told my best friend that she liked me, then went out with someone the next week) So theyve been going out for about 7 months now. The thing is that the dudes really phony, hes only nice to her so that hes not alone. He lies to her all the time. Well she told me that if it ever came down to a choice between him and me that she would pick me because we had more history together. But even though theyve been together so long, I can't get her out of my head and people have told me that we have a weird relationship, because we're always concerned about each other and we get jealous when we see each other with a member of the opposite sex. So a couple a weeks ago, I decided to tell her how I really felt about her, and that I wished she would drop this guy and go with me, but I didnt get my hopes up, and told her if we didnt get together that I still wanted her as my friend.

 

She said she just wanted to be friends because she was with this dude and didnt want to ruin the friendship that we have. So I understood that, but then she gets in trouble with her parents, they order her to break up with him, but she doesnt, so she can only see him at school. We always talk on the phone, even more than her and her boyfriend, but after I told her she calls me and asks me if I want to come over and watch movies. So I do and a few days later she askes me to come over again to watch movies, so I do. And when I was over there we were hanging out on her bed, and we were being kind of touchy but in a playful way, and she kept telling me to stop, so I do. Then a few minutes, she starts touching me!! So we continued playing around. We kept getting into those "Should we kiss" kind of moments, but I never did. Later on my phone rings and its my cousin, and he wants to know who I was with, but I didn't want to tell him in case he told her boyfriend I was with her, to ensure now arguments. But after I refused to acknowledge who I was with she got kindof mad and told me "I think you should leave" So I left, not knowing what was really wrong. It been about a week since, and we havent spoken since. Well her boyfriend comes and gets all up in my face asking me why I'm trying to kiss his gf and trying to get all up on her, etc. When I told him that it wasnt true, he came back with "She told me u did" What do you guys think about the situation, and what should I do?

[AprilFool]

Yep...I did it too...I was with this guy who went to a different school, who my parents FORBID me to see outside of CHURCH, and soon after this really REALLY cute guy confessed that he liked me. I didn't break up with my "boyfriend" because that would have been wrong...to dump him for someone else. Besides, boyfriend and I worked really hard to be together (as far as I knew). But this other guy was so nice, and so sweet, and SO CUTE, and I loved the attention. I loved the way it felt when he'd put his arm around me in the hall, and silly things like that, because I wasn't supposed to be doing that!

 

I don't know what I was thinking. Looking back with a more grown up mind, I wish I'd dumped the boyfriend, and went out with the crush...it would've been a lot less stressful, a lot more fun, and (of course) the boyfriend turned out to be a real loser, and the crush was an amazing man.

 

Too little Too late. I did the same thing she did, in confessing my sins to my boyfriend...I felt guilty, and I guess secretly I wanted him to dump me, so I would be free to date my crush.

 

Who knows what this girl's thinking, though...it sounds like she likes both of you, and she wants to keep you "as a friend" because you are willing to be in her life "as a friend". Also, she's probably bored and lonely, since her parents won't let her hang out with her boyfriend (as was I) so she's using you as entertainment.

 

I don't think she realizes she's doing this, though. I didn't. You don't really know how to handle relationships in high school. If you really like her, give her time. Wait until she comes to you.

 

Needless to say, after I graduated, I looked up my crush, and we dated for a little while. Maybe after the high school drama has worn off, she'll GROW UP!