Author logitech Posted October 21, 2009 Author Share Posted October 21, 2009 I think one thing that is causing it to sneak up on my is arranging by mates bucks (the one that is with her sister). That and knowing that his missus is having her hens' night on Saturday. As for whether I miss her, or the idea of her... I'm not really sure. There are so many little things that I miss. We used to communicate on the phone so often (even though we lived together). My phone bill used to be like 4 pages and now it is barely 1. It makes me wonder if she misses it, but then I think that she had been setting herself up for this that she had all of her girl friends to fill the gap. So now my phone barely rings twice a week. It something that I have become more accustomed to but it's just one of those regular reminders. Anyway. Tonight was a little better since we had a few people around here for dinner. Now it feels like all I have to do is fight the anxiety I make for myself. I don't really get upset any more. Just anxious. BTW Erica, why are you still waiting for messages from your ex?? I think for your own sake you need to pull back a bit more too... Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 I do know what you mean about missing the little things. It's a totally different lifestyle once you aren't in a relationship anymore. So many things that you need to get used to again. Not having someone to talk to all the time is definitely one of them. I get anxiety also. Thank goodness it's not as bad as it once was. But lately, it's been creeping back. Tonight, for example, it's 8 in the morning and I haven't been to sleep yet. Some days are better than others. I think we just need to remind ourselves of the better days, and know that it'll get better. As hard as that is to feel right now. And as for waiting for him to message me, I just needed to know that he made it there alright. It was starting to worry me. But, now that i've talked to him and found out that everything is alright, I told him (once again) that we cannot talk anymore. His only response was "F*cking fantastic!" It's so hard to walk away from someone that you miss, knowing that they want to still be a part of your life too. I can't wait for the better days. Link to post Share on other sites
Author logitech Posted October 30, 2009 Author Share Posted October 30, 2009 So it's been over a month now of NC. I feel as though I am doing pretty well at the moment since I have been keeping busy. I found that I had to reduce the amount I was reading these forums since it was too easy to get caught up in the negativity (no offence). Last night my ex IMed my flatmate/friend telling him to ask me to get online. Obviously she doesn't know that I blocked and deleted her from it a month ago Anyway, I didn't end up getting on and talking to her. Now I feel pretty good about it in that I was able to resist the temptation. As has been said many times, if she has something important to say, there are many ways she can do it. I'm not going to entertain her need for idle chit-chat. Sure I now wonder if there was anything specific she wanted to talk about, but most likely she was just bored. So now I feel ever so slightly empowered that I was able to stay strong. If I can do it anyway can. Link to post Share on other sites
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