the finality of divorce...

[LisaUk]

lisa, it's so good to see you on here. i've thought of that with OM. i think he's still in the picture somewhat, but i also know that she is not up to anything with him. she laid it on the table for a mutual friend of ours. the friend started to tell me what was said, and i politely asked her not to. i don't want to trample on their friendship. she told me i have nothing to worry about, and i really never did. i told her that when she left, i had every reason to worry. the emotions were taken from me and given to him. that's something to worrry about. this friend asked if we'd get back together and the ex said she didn't know, but she likes where things are, and where they seem to be going.

 

don't worry about me. i have my armor plating over my heart, and she will not get through it this time. it's going to take a major amount of time to repair anything. i just hope my family doesn't give her or me a lot of grief on the holiday. that'd suck.

 

also lisa, she knows the mistakes she's made. she told a different friend that she can't help but often wonder what if she had just heeded my EA pleas and stuck it out. she says she knows we could've gotten through it. i have to wonder if with all that's happened, if there's even a remote chance of it working out now. i don't even know if that's what she wants.

 

Thanks MMI, I just wish I had more time to be here, law school is a kicker!

 

I think you are doing great and I think you have your head screwed on about this possibility of reconciliation. Sounds like you are taking it nice and slow and seeing where things go and although you would like it, you know you will be OK if it doen't happen. I wish you the best of luck.

[MrMayI]

Thanks MMI, I just wish I had more time to be here, law school is a kicker!

 

I think you are doing great and I think you have your head screwed on about this possibility of reconciliation. Sounds like you are taking it nice and slow and seeing where things go and although you would like it, you know you will be OK if it doen't happen. I wish you the best of luck.

 

you're right lisa. the part of me that WOULD like it secretly wants me to punch myself repeatedly in the head, lol.

i am ok. i have to be. that little girl needs her daddy the way he's always been. not a mess. not anymore. it is moving slow. sometimes too slow for my liking, but to be honest, she and i have only even "reconnected" for a couple of weeks. i think when she took our daughter across the country a few weeks ago, she started to maybe realize where she'd gone wrong. even there, though, i could be wrong.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Why do you still care mmi? I thought you was all past this?

[MrMayI]

Why do you still care mmi? I thought you was all past this?

 

damn, i was hoping you wouldn't see this, lol. i care, in a sense. not completely, but i do. i'm protecting my "investments" though. don't worry.

[Chrome Barracuda]

damn, i was hoping you wouldn't see this, lol. i care, in a sense. not completely, but i do. i'm protecting my "investments" though. don't worry.

 

I hope you stay the course, many guys ive seen conitue on being in limbo, dont go backwards go forwards.

[Gunny376]

Thanks MMI, I just wish I had more time to be here, law school is a kicker!

 

I think you are doing great and I think you have your head screwed on about this possibility of reconciliation. Sounds like you are taking it nice and slow and seeing where things go and although you would like it, you know you will be OK if it doen't happen. I wish you the best of luck.

 

 

Why aren't you studying?

[MrMayI]

I hope you stay the course, many guys ive seen conitue on being in limbo, dont go backwards go forwards.

 

i am, bro. moving forward, but looking back at the same time.

[LisaUk]

Why aren't you studying?

 

LOL

I love you guys!

I'd just been to buy a black cocktail dress for a law society do in a couple of weeks. But I am studying now! Just aranged work experience over Christmas holidays, need to do my LPC application and am going to start my essay in a min! But I need to come on here too, am having a rough time at the moment, like many many on here.

LOL at MMI saying you hoped Crome wouldn't have noticed!

[MrMayI]

here comes thanksgiving, and i'll be spending it with my family and ex. don't know how it's going to go, but i'm going into it headfirst. i'm actually a little nervous. we've just been spending so much time together. i'm starting to think that i cannot allow myself to become this kind of "friend" to her. sure, i can be nice for our daughter, but i'm seeing that i don't want to just hang out together all the time and such. if we're going to live it like that, we may as well be together. ****, i don't know. i just needed to briefly ramble.

[soheartbroken]

No harm in rambling. You've got an intense situation going on, and all you can do is ride it to it's conclusion, one way or the other. Which is exactly what you're doing.

[tojaz]

here comes thanksgiving, and i'll be spending it with my family and ex. don't know how it's going to go, but i'm going into it headfirst. i'm actually a little nervous. we've just been spending so much time together. i'm starting to think that i cannot allow myself to become this kind of "friend" to her. sure, i can be nice for our daughter, but i'm seeing that i don't want to just hang out together all the time and such. if we're going to live it like that, we may as well be together. ****, i don't know. i just needed to briefly ramble.

 

MAYI, I think the simplest solution is to just live it the way you want it to be. You want her as a friend, then treat her like one and let her respond, you want her as a date, GF, wife, etc. then go for it, treat her like one and see what she runs with. Kind of a test run for the both of you. The decision is up to you, but right now it sounds like your the only one keeping you in limbo.

TOJAZ

[MrMayI]

MAYI, I think the simplest solution is to just live it the way you want it to be. You want her as a friend, then treat her like one and let her respond, you want her as a date, GF, wife, etc. then go for it, treat her like one and see what she runs with. Kind of a test run for the both of you. The decision is up to you, but right now it sounds like your the only one keeping you in limbo.

TOJAZ

 

truer words have never been typed. happy thanksgiving all. seeing all of these "happy holidays" during the parade this morning really are making me reflect. my little girl is here, eating her breakfast. i'm thankful for that.

[tojaz]

MAYI, I think the simplest solution is to just live it the way you want it to be. You want her as a friend, then treat her like one and let her respond, you want her as a date, GF, wife, etc. then go for it, treat her like one and see what she runs with. Kind of a test run for the both of you. The decision is up to you, but right now it sounds like your the only one keeping you in limbo.

TOJAZ

 

I would stress that one a little more MAYI.

 

Happy Thanksgiving MayI, you have an awful lot to be thankful for!

TOJAZ

[2.50 a gallon]

MrMayI

 

Damn, just lost my train of thought. I just saw Hugh Hefner, on the Macy's parade, with out his PJ's.

 

I think it was something along the line of let her rip, enjoy the day with your family, guard your heart, maybe you can sort it all out after the crazy season

 

Your friend Gallon

[LisaUk]

Hi MayI

 

How are you doing? How did thanksgiving go, you were spending it with the ex right?

[tojaz]

Hi MayI

 

How are you doing? How did thanksgiving go, you were spending it with the ex right?

 

Yeah, what sh said.....UPDATE!

[WTFO]

Yeah, what sh said.....UPDATE!

 

 

I'm thinking its good news. I could be wrong,but if things went bad I think he would be on here recently, no??

[MrMayI]

hi everyone. thanks for checking up on me. i've been so scatterbrained these past few days, i just didn't know what to say, so i dodged this place for the first time since i got a login.

 

thanksgiving was nice. there were little touches between the ex and i that just felt like electricity going through my body. we sat next to each other at the dinner table, and then we sat very closely in the den after dinner. we talked and laughed and just had a nice time. the DD and i rode from my house to the folks' house with the ex. when we left, our DD wanted to stay a bit longer, so i asked the ex to take me home. she drove me there, and we held each other for what seemed like forever in my driveway. she asked what i was going to do, and i said sleep. i then turned and said something like "look. i just feel it should be placed out there. would you be interested in going on a date with me. alone. just you and i. no one else?". she said "of course, but why do we have to call it a date?". i didn't know what to think of that, so i just said "it doesn't, but that's pretty much what it'd be". she agreed. i've spoken to her a bit since then. she came and had dinner with DD and i at my house a couple of nights ago. we'll see how it goes. if this is the road to reconciliation, it's going to be a long one. either way, i'm okay now. i'm okay.

[tojaz]

hi everyone. thanks for checking up on me. i've been so scatterbrained these past few days, i just didn't know what to say, so i dodged this place for the first time since i got a login.

 

thanksgiving was nice. there were little touches between the ex and i that just felt like electricity going through my body. we sat next to each other at the dinner table, and then we sat very closely in the den after dinner. we talked and laughed and just had a nice time. the DD and i rode from my house to the folks' house with the ex. when we left, our DD wanted to stay a bit longer, so i asked the ex to take me home. she drove me there, and we held each other for what seemed like forever in my driveway. she asked what i was going to do, and i said sleep. i then turned and said something like "look. i just feel it should be placed out there. would you be interested in going on a date with me. alone. just you and i. no one else?". she said "of course, but why do we have to call it a date?". i didn't know what to think of that, so i just said "it doesn't, but that's pretty much what it'd be". she agreed. i've spoken to her a bit since then. she came and had dinner with DD and i at my house a couple of nights ago. we'll see how it goes. if this is the road to reconciliation, it's going to be a long one. either way, i'm okay now. i'm okay.

 

Congrats MayI! SOunds like things are moving nicely. The one warning i will put out there is to be sure shes coming back for the right reasons, that its for you more then what you provide. You know all this I'm sure, just keep it in mind as you move along. Good luck MayI, keeping my fingers crossed for you bud!

TOJAZ

[2.50 a gallon]

MrMayI

 

Ditto what Tojaz said. From your posts over the last month, this sounds like something that you really want.

It is your life, and you are the one to decide.

I really hope it works out for you. It could be another success story.

 

Your friend Gallon

[Gunny376]

Being from Alabama, as you are? I just don't see the competition?

 

I think she's starting to see that!

 

You need but educate yourself about romance, seduction and such!

 

I think that's she asking from you!

 

What it took to get her?

 

Is what it takes to get her!

 

And keep her!

Edited December 3, 2009 by Gunny376

[MrMayI]

Being from Alabama, as you are? I just don't see the competition?

 

I think she's starting to see that!

 

You need but educate yourself about romance, seduction and such!

 

I think that's she asking from you!

 

What it took to get her?

 

Is what it takes to get her!

 

And keep her!

 

thanks everyone. i think it is what i want, but we'll see. there are a couple of women giving me attention, which is nice. the train can't wait at the station forever.

[MrMayI]

i guess it should be mentioned that i'm not sure where it's going still. granted, we spend a little time with one another, we still are apart 90% of the time. i refuse to accept it's totally over, just like i refuse to tell myself we're going to reconcile. i really don't know. i don't think the ex does either.

[GorillaTheater]

I don't know, Mr. May. I don't think I've posted on your threads before. I've followed your story, but felt that you were getting plenty of great advice from folks you've been there and done that. Straight up, I haven't. Been married for longer than most folks on LS have been alive, but I haven't been in your shoes.

 

All this preface to say "be very careful with your heart". It wasn't that long ago that you found her car behind the OM's house, saw her smooching it up with some guy (shortly after the D), and found incriminating emails. The big one, to me, is the fact she left you and her daughter over a "jealousy" issue that in retrospect appears quite justified on your part. Has she shown any remorse? Has she owned any of this? Has she worked on her issues?

 

If it was me, I wouldn't take her back. But this is your business, I understand. I'm just concerned for your heart and your well-being. This thread reminds me a little of a couple of long threads by "ILMW". There was an OM, but the wife remained very sweet to the H. They even got back together. But not for long. Crushed him all over again. I don't want to see that happen to you.

 

But whatever you decide, I certainly wish you the best of luck.

[MrMayI]

I don't know, Mr. May. I don't think I've posted on your threads before. I've followed your story, but felt that you were getting plenty of great advice from folks you've been there and done that. Straight up, I haven't. Been married for longer than most folks on LS have been alive, but I haven't been in your shoes.

 

All this preface to say "be very careful with your heart". It wasn't that long ago that you found her car behind the OM's house, saw her smooching it up with some guy (shortly after the D), and found incriminating emails. The big one, to me, is the fact she left you and her daughter over a "jealousy" issue that in retrospect appears quite justified on your part. Has she shown any remorse? Has she owned any of this? Has she worked on her issues?

 

If it was me, I wouldn't take her back. But this is your business, I understand. I'm just concerned for your heart and your well-being. This thread reminds me a little of a couple of long threads by "ILMW". There was an OM, but the wife remained very sweet to the H. They even got back together. But not for long. Crushed him all over again. I don't want to see that happen to you.

 

But whatever you decide, I certainly wish you the best of luck.

 

all of this stays on the forefront of my mind. she has shown remorse. she hasn't outright explained it all or herself, but in regular conversation she's expressed and shown she's regretful, and knows no matter what it was her ****ing fault.

 

my daughter will never go through that **** again. ever.