trippi1432 Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I understand this totally. I went out with my stbx brother n law last week and it caused a commotion. We bro n law have been semi close since the ex and I were dating. Anybody else out there stay close to their STBX in laws or their familys after the separation? if so is your STBX pizzed? I am still close to my sister-in-law and mother-in-law, they have been a part of my life for 15 years. My STBX didn't like it at first and told me I was not allowed to talk to them, fact was, they are calling me. He called back the next day to apologize and said that it wasn't his place to tell his family or me what to do. What you do have to create are some boundaries, for example, do not use the relationship as an excuse to see the ex or as a vehicle to get subtle messages to the ex. The relationship I have with my sister-in-law is like she is my sister, but I don't tell her everything. Link to post Share on other sites
WTFO Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 What you do have to create are some boundaries, for example, do not use the relationship as an excuse to see the ex or as a vehicle to get subtle messages to the ex. The relationship I have with my sister-in-law is like she is my sister, but I don't tell her everything. Nah, nothing like that. We are cool with each other and she RARELY comes up in conversation. Truth be known, her father and mother both think shes in the wrong. We all still get along and find it funny, her saying hanging out with her Brother,will only "push her father away". My response was," I'm already pushed away" Sorry for the hijack..back to our regular show. Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 (edited) Broken Hearted is complaining about her lack of sex? Roadtrip anyone? Ooops it is football season, us guys have our priorities. Just joking BH! It is a good sign, another baby step MMI has it right, for you it would be like fish in a barrel MrMayI I am with TOJAZ and Broken Hearted, please go slow and please be careful. It scares me a little to see you taking the blame for filing too fast. You did what you had to do, to protect yourself and your DD. Your friend Gallon Edited November 10, 2009 by 2.50 a gallon Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 You have a case of the couldas, wouldas, and shouldas. Who doesn't? I'm with Tojaz on waiting a bit longer after they get back. You need to have more signs from her, she needs to do the work, you need to be sure, ok? You will be putting yourself in a position of getting your heart ripped out again if she says no. Or, be putting yourself in the position of getting strung along. Will she say yes? Unless you're really sure she will it's best to avoid it. The best thing is waiting for her to put herself out there and be asking you. She knows you still love her. She knows you still want her, even after everything she's put you through, even after the D. If she feels the same you do, she is the one to make it happen. She's the one that destroyed it all and needs to have the cap in hand. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Broken Hearted is complaining about her lack of sex? Roadtrip anyone? Ooops it is football season, us guys have our priorities. You obviously havent seen her pictures! Football can wait! :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 You have a case of the couldas, wouldas, and shouldas. Who doesn't? I'm with Tojaz on waiting a bit longer after they get back. You need to have more signs from her, she needs to do the work, you need to be sure, ok? You will be putting yourself in a position of getting your heart ripped out again if she says no. Or, be putting yourself in the position of getting strung along. Will she say yes? Unless you're really sure she will it's best to avoid it. The best thing is waiting for her to put herself out there and be asking you. She knows you still love her. She knows you still want her, even after everything she's put you through, even after the D. If she feels the same you do, she is the one to make it happen. She's the one that destroyed it all and needs to have the cap in hand. Cant add anything to that, but bears repeating MayI TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
WTFO Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 You obviously havent seen her pictures! Football can wait! :laugh: No. I haven't, But is she looks half as much as she is cool,shes probably a knock out. Link to post Share on other sites
broken hearted Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Oh, stop it you guys! Let's be honest, you all know my self esteem is in the dumps and has been for quite some time after what my stbx has done to me so I do appreciate the comments but...if I was half as attractive as you guys are making me out to be, my husband would never have done what he did! Believe me when I say this girl is FAR less attractive than I am. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted November 10, 2009 Author Share Posted November 10, 2009 MrMayI I am with TOJAZ and Broken Hearted, please go slow and please be careful. It scares me a little to see you taking the blame for filing too fast. You did what you had to do, to protect yourself and your DD. Your friend Gallon i know brother. i know that's not an accurate statement. i filed after she voluntarily signed, because i exposed her and that minister and their total bull**** and lack of regard for anyone but themselves. i know better than to even approach the subject with her. she made the bed. she can lie in it or she can help me to make it a different way. either way, it's going to be up to her to initiate that. not me. You have a case of the couldas, wouldas, and shouldas. Who doesn't? I'm with Tojaz on waiting a bit longer after they get back. You need to have more signs from her, she needs to do the work, you need to be sure, ok? You will be putting yourself in a position of getting your heart ripped out again if she says no. Or, be putting yourself in the position of getting strung along. Will she say yes? Unless you're really sure she will it's best to avoid it. The best thing is waiting for her to put herself out there and be asking you. She knows you still love her. She knows you still want her, even after everything she's put you through, even after the D. If she feels the same you do, she is the one to make it happen. She's the one that destroyed it all and needs to have the cap in hand. i agree with all of this, except me getting strung along. that will NEVER happen. You obviously havent seen her pictures! Football can wait! :laugh: i don't know man. i've been killing it with my bets lately. Oh, stop it you guys! Let's be honest, you all know my self esteem is in the dumps and has been for quite some time after what my stbx has done to me so I do appreciate the comments but...if I was half as attractive as you guys are making me out to be, my husband would never have done what he did! Believe me when I say this girl is FAR less attractive than I am. your esteem being in the dumps is exactly why you are down on your own attractiveness. your stbx would've done what he did regardless of you being an ogre or the beauty that you are. you did nothing to provoke or compel him to leave. he made that decision on his own. you know that. believe me BH. i've told you a million times. fish in a barrel. Link to post Share on other sites
WTFO Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 your esteem being in the dumps is exactly why you are down on your own attractiveness. your stbx would've done what he did regardless of you being an ogre or the beauty that you are. you did nothing to provoke or compel him to leave. he made that decision on his own. you know that. believe me BH. i've told you a million times. fish in a barrel. x2. Just to get a mental pic though. Is there someone famous you look like? Inquiring minds want to know..lol Link to post Share on other sites
broken hearted Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I have some pictures posted under my profile name. You should be able to see them there. Honestly though...these guys are being far far far too kind to me...just trying to help my self esteem! It feels mighty good though! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted November 10, 2009 Author Share Posted November 10, 2009 I have some pictures posted under my profile name. You should be able to see them there. Honestly though...these guys are being far far far too kind to me...just trying to help my self esteem! It feels mighty good though! i can't speak for anyone else on here, but i'm totally serious. Link to post Share on other sites
Auroracoladybug Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 BH shut up! Okay female here and I am saying that she is drop dead gorgeous! I am jealous of her beautiful smile and dark hair...I'll come up with a name of who she looks like;) Link to post Share on other sites
Auroracoladybug Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 BH shut up! Okay female here and I am saying that she is drop dead gorgeous! I am jealous of her beautiful smile and dark hair...I'll come up with a name of who she looks like;) Okay got it...she looks like Jessica Alba without make-up...not too pale and not dark, slight frame so not too skinny but looks like she's got muscle, great smile with perfect white teeth, and could probably turn a whole room if she just dressed up a little Link to post Share on other sites
broken hearted Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Okay got it...she looks like Jessica Alba without make-up...not too pale and not dark, slight frame so not too skinny but looks like she's got muscle, great smile with perfect white teeth, and could probably turn a whole room if she just dressed up a little Ladybug, you are out of your mind! I think the men on here would agree with me that I look nothing like Jessica Alba...she's far too beautiful to be compared to! But...I must say, my head is sitting a little higher right now! Link to post Share on other sites
Auroracoladybug Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Ladybug, you are out of your mind! I think the men on here would agree with me that I look nothing like Jessica Alba...she's far too beautiful to be compared to! But...I must say, my head is sitting a little higher right now! I just saw a picture of her without make-up in the September 2009 Vogue in just a plain white t-shirt and jeans with large sunglasses... I swear it could have been you...I am glad your head is sitting a little higher:D you are beautiful and NEVER let a man make you think of yourself in anyway that you wouldn't think of others...I'm no model quality person but I am proud of my long blonde hair and sky blue eyes Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 (edited) Oh, stop it you guys! Let's be honest, you all know my self esteem is in the dumps and has been for quite some time after what my stbx has done to me so I do appreciate the comments but...if I was half as attractive as you guys are making me out to be, my husband would never have done what he did! Believe me when I say this girl is FAR less attractive than I am. Take it from a member of the club Broken, MEN ARE DUMB!!! Besides, Beauty is an all over thing. Anybody who has been following your story knew you were beautiful long before you put pictures up. Ladybug, you are out of your mind! I think the men on here would agree with me that I look nothing like Jessica Alba...she's far too beautiful to be compared to! But...I must say, my head is sitting a little higher right now! I always pegged you as a prettier Neve Cambell actually, but you hold your own against Alba. TOJAZ Edited November 11, 2009 by tojaz Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 i know brother. i know that's not an accurate statement. i filed after she voluntarily signed, because i exposed her and that minister and their total bull**** and lack of regard for anyone but themselves. i know better than to even approach the subject with her. she made the bed. she can lie in it or she can help me to make it a different way. either way, it's going to be up to her to initiate that. not me. Good for you MayI, keep that in mind. The only way this is going to work if she really wants it to, make her prove it. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
WTFO Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Take it from a member of the club Broken, MEN ARE DUMB!!! Besides, Beauty is an all over thing. Anybody who has been following your story knew you were beautiful long before you put pictures up. I always pegged you as a prettier Neve Cambell actually, but you hold your own against Alba. TOJAZ OMG BH! Woman,you are gorgeous! Your stbx is a fool! You are a great woman (Can tell by your posts) Have a great heart,smart and hot!..lol What more could a guy ask for? I wish I lived in your state:) Your going to be just fine. Link to post Share on other sites
MizzBlue72 Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Good to hear it is final ..... It is hard to take the step to start your new life, but you have to. Do it for you and your family. And when you figure out how - can you let me know?? LOL ... I'm still having one hell of a time getting things together after the divorce ... Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 QUOTE=WTFO;2480740]OMG BH! Woman,you are gorgeous! Your stbx is a fool! You are a great woman (Can tell by your posts) Have a great heart,smart and hot!..lol What more could a guy ask for? I wish I lived in your state Your going to be just fine. See Broken, you already have them standing in line! When your ready your going to have all you can handle, and if you don't, give me a call! i'm about 1,000 miles away, but i like to drive. TOJAZ MAYI, sorry for turning your thread into Mystery Date, now back to your regularly scheduled program. Link to post Share on other sites
broken hearted Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 How did the last 2 pages of MMI's thread become about me?? Sorry MMI! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted November 11, 2009 Author Share Posted November 11, 2009 Good for you MayI, keep that in mind. The only way this is going to work if she really wants it to, make her prove it. TOJAZ i'm doing my best. she called last night, and we talked for a while. she told me she misses me, and she's ready to come home. she meant back to our town, but for a second my stomach ****ing dropped out of my ass, haha. Good to hear it is final ..... It is hard to take the step to start your new life, but you have to. Do it for you and your family. And when you figure out how - can you let me know?? LOL ... I'm still having one hell of a time getting things together after the divorce ... i've gotten everything together, but i can't attest to the finality of it all right now. i've gotten on a neckbreaking roller coaster for right now. See Broken, you already have them standing in line! When your ready your going to have all you can handle, and if you don't, give me a call! i'm about 1,000 miles away, but i like to drive. TOJAZ MAYI, sorry for turning your thread into Mystery Date, now back to your regularly scheduled program. lol How did the last 2 pages of MMI's thread become about me?? Sorry MMI! it's okay. we find what we need in all sorts of places. this should be solid affirmation that you are everything you're being made out to be on here. chin up, bh. you'll know when it's time to move on. i pick them up tomorrow at the airport. i cannot WAIT to see my little girl. i have a couple friends who want the ex and i to go to dinner with them one night in the next few days. i don't know what to think still. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 i pick them up tomorrow at the airport. i cannot WAIT to see my little girl. i have a couple friends who want the ex and i to go to dinner with them one night in the next few days. i don't know what to think still. SO GO!!! friends invited you out, your still friendly with the ex, you want to know how much is still there, sounds like a perfect no pressure opportunity to find out. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
broken hearted Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 I'm so jealous MMI!! Link to post Share on other sites
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