Minus Posted December 2, 2003 Share Posted December 2, 2003 A couple of months ago, I started working at a new job on campus and most of the employees in my department are women. At first I thought the relationships at work would be simply nothing more than "work related", but up until now, we are all really good friends. We go out and party, talk about relationships, and just plain get along. I even look forward going to work just to see them. So whats the problem? Well, believe or not, I started to catch feelings for one of the girls. So whats the problem? Well... Since the beginning, I started to hang out with one girl (We can call her "Stacey") more than the rest of the other co-workers. Since my 1st day, she was always saying "We should go do this 2gether" or saying "we should go watch that", and of course I said alright just to make her happy. The first time we went out, it was more of a "lets see how we can interact with each other". Well the first time was ok, and nothing special happened. Then I found out she had a class with me, but we never sat next to each other, although she said my name a couple of times and said hi. In other words, I didnt brother with her as much. As weeks pass, I started to get along with her really well and started to get a good vibe about her. So I decided to ask her out, and we had a great time. It went so well that the next day, after our class 2gether was over, she waited outside, with her friends, for me so we can walk 2gether. Eventually, we started to go to parties. At some parties, I remember that she would have one 2 many drinks, and I would be there, holding her hair, and making sure she didnt get 2 out of hand (FYI: What a gentleman right? ). After quite some time, I started to suspected that she started to like me. When we would go out to eat, she barely made eye contact with me, and when she did, it would be for a few seconds and then she would look away and start playing with a fork, lettuce, or whatever was near her (even when we were talking). Plus, she started to touch me more and sometimes hug me. During the last parties we went 2, I suspected it even more, when one of the other co-workers wanted to have a one night stand with me at a party, because of problems with her boyfriend. Of course I never did it, and Stacey said she was glad I didnt do it. Plus, her co-workers, who apparently also wanted me to do the one night stand as well, said that when they told Stacey that this co-worker (We will call her "Tina") wanted to hook up with me, she got angry and said that "he is not that kind of guy". Since I didnt go thru with the hook up, Tina suddenly has a new found respect for me, and has apparently started to really like me alot more than her current boyfriend. Stacey asked me later if would I consider dating her if she wasnt with the current boyfriend? I said no because she was not really what I was looking for, even though Tina is very beautiful and was probably the nicest girl I ever met. (FYI: Truth is, at this point, I started to like Stacey more). Then the 3rd to last party Stacey and I went to, I got really drunk. So drunk that I couldnt go home that night, and had to stay the night at this guy's house. Stacey, who was just buzzed, lied me down on the floor (which was also own "bed" for the night), got real close to me, placed my arm over her body, and we both slept (FYI: Nothing "funny" happened). At first I thought she was doing this because it was cold during that night, and need some heat, but when I asked her the next day why she did that, she smiled and said "Because..." and just stayed silent. Right now I can honestly say that I really get along with her, and she is not like any other girl I have ever met (FYI: She says shes never met a guy like me before). My only problems are that I dont know if she really likes me or not. I mean she could be just thinking that we're only friends, and we only know each other for about 3 months. The other problem is that we are co-workers. I hear a lot of people say I should/shouldnt do it, and it just gets me more confused. I really need some help here, because this is probably one of the most confusing situations I been in. Forgot to add: And to make matters worse, Tina (the co worker who suddenly has feelings for me) gets jealous everytime Stacey and I talk or hang around each other. So I really dont want to hurt her if I decide to take my relationship with Stacey to the next level. Link to post Share on other sites
himlee Posted December 2, 2003 Share Posted December 2, 2003 Good luck with an inter office relationship. What you have described is one or more woman interested in you. If you are looking for drama at work, go for it. I can tell you from personal experience, the down side is much higher than the upside. Stay friends, do things, keep them guessing, but dont cross that line. Link to post Share on other sites
superman Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 Without a doubt she has feelings for you. She looks at you as the role of the boyfriend in her life. How much that is important to her is a different story. Before you go forward with this make sure you find out what she is looking for in a relationship right now. Make sure you know what you want in a relationship right now also. You don't have to make the move and then find out later that you were not on the same page. Just ask her in a conversation what she wants in a boyfriend, what kind of relationship is she looking for, ect. If it matches up with what you want I say go for it. You will not be co-workers with these people forever. And I would guess that the majority of the people you work with would be happy for the two of you. That would make "Tina" eventually feel happy for the two of you too. If she does not right aways then she would be the only one and eventually come around. Just be sensitive to her feelings in the beginning. Be casual in the relationship and see where it takes you. The most important thing when dating a co-worker would be not to rush things. Then they can go bad just as fast as they went good. Good luck. Your problem is much better than most people have on here. Link to post Share on other sites
AllyKat Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 Sure, why not have your cake and eat it too? If I read right, both have boyfriends? I mean, is that what you want out of a relationship, is knowing you took her from a guy she didnt have the balls to break up with? People who do this tend to do it again. Its funny really for the ones who got dumped...remember, what goes around, comes around. HARDER THOUGH Link to post Share on other sites
Author Minus Posted December 24, 2003 Author Share Posted December 24, 2003 Stacey is still single and only Tina has a boyfriend. Besides, I wouldnt take her away from her boyfriend, because I know right now she's going through a hard time because her boyfriend cheated on her. Recently, I gave her my advice from past experience, and she decided to stay with her boyfriend and try to work it out. Im not the kind of guy to take away someone else's girlfriend anyway. (FYI: Thanks for the advice AllyKat, what you said is so true.) With Stacey its really funny though. We are from 2 completely different worlds, but yet we both like talking and being around each other. If its been like 3 days since we havent seen each other, she tells me she missed me and its been 2 long. I guess that opposites DO attract Link to post Share on other sites
AllyKat Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 Then if she is single, why not go for her? Tina is taken, if she gets mad who cares? She has NO right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Minus Posted December 24, 2003 Author Share Posted December 24, 2003 Thanx AllyKat, I guess I should go for her. The only things that stop me were that we were from 2 different worlds and that Tina would break off both Stacey's friendship and mine. But like you said, she has no right, and, like superman said, if she doenst like it at first, Im sure she will eventually come around. Thanx I think Im gonna go for it...that is if the Christmas food doesnt kill me Well wish me luck and I'll come back 2 tell how it goes Link to post Share on other sites
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