Dissociative identity disorder 'DID'

[junglejim]

I have reached the conclusion that one of my friends, whom I have commented on in prior posts, is suffering from DID.

 

My reasons for thinking this is that she has been diagnosed as ADD, has panic attacks, loses time, has new phobias she never had before, seems to forget conversations and events then remembers them again clearly later, and drinks non-stop. She has also taken some risky sexual actions with men or placed herself in a position for further abuse. You also feel that you are never sure which person/mood you are dealing with (one is very aggressive, and distrustful the other is very gentle and hurt).

 

She and her children were terribly abused (though she wasn't aware of what was happening to the kids until they were divorced) for many years. The abuse was physical, sexual and emotional. I also suspect, though she has never admitted, that some childhood abuse took place. I think the DID is as a result of trying to cope with all the abuse.

 

Unfortunately, I clued in too late. I pulled away because I could not get her to stop her drinking or seek help. I thought her problem was mostly alcoholism and hoped that she may see me pulling away as a friend as a time to rethink her actions. This was a mistake. She has now accused me of every evil under the sun and the 'Angry' person is out and already telling others that I am bad news so I have no idea how to help as she has no trust in me.

 

A good friend of mine said I should just walk away but she has three kids who have a mum looking to be a trainwreck. Any ideas or experience on how I can get her some help or have I blown it completely?

 

Thanks.

[ajj]

Truthfully, only those with a PhD in psychology should be diagnosing people with mental illness. Psychiatrists (those with a medical degree and one rotation in a psych ward and probably little more) will often diagnose patients but that is to justify billing to insurance companies and gives them a guide as what medications to prescribe.

 

Having made that disclaimer DID is a very controversial diagnosis to this day. The story of "Sybil" (portrayed in the movie by Sally Field) turned out to be a fraud. However, it is likely that your girlfriend suffers from many other mental illness which can often be co-morbid. One can be an alcholic (accounting for memory lapses, anxiety when alcohol is not available) and also suffering from a personality disorder. Often, though not always, alcoholism is the most recognizable sign of underlying, often more serious disorders. Depression, schizophrenia, personality disorders, or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, to name a few.

 

Personality disorders are very often co-morbid with those clinicians still willing to recognize DID as an actual mental illness. Personality disorders are have poor outcomes even with lifelong therapy. A person with a personality disorder is likely to react with rage inappropriate to the situation (as well as those suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder). If you're asking why she's telling people now that you're broken up that you committed every evil under the sun it's possible she suffers an underlying mental illness.

 

You can't save her and you can't save her children. If she's committing abuse or neglect due to her alcoholism or is abusive towards them you can certainly contact the local child protective services. If you choose that course of action exit yourself after that point. It's terrible to think of children in that situation however putting your own reputation at risk to help someone is not a wise course of action.

[Fun2BMe]

People can't get better unless they want to. I think that distancing yourself from her instead of her thinking twice about her actions, it made her think you don't care and decided to abandon her. Don't let her guess your intent, it sounds like she's incapable of doing so at this time due to her disturbed state of mind.

 

Maybe you can tell her you want to help her but need to know if she wants it, that as her friend you notice changes in her and think she should seek some professional help from those trained to do so because you want her to get better but don't know how to do it. She sounds like she might be suffering from paranoid schizophrenia and some medication and getting off the alcohol will do her more good than anything you can offer.

Edited November 16, 2009 by Fun2BMe