jshaw Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 My friend of 6 years whom I'm really close to was dumped by her boyfriend of 7 years over 4 months ago. We've become even closer in that time (hanging out a lot, talking everyday) and I have some strong feelings for her. Last week she went on a really crappy date at the behest of one of her friends and didn't like it at all. She told me about it, and said the only reason we weren't dating was because she's scared of losing me. She'd be willing to take the risk but she's still messed up over the breakup. Anyway.. yesterday she says something like this to me: "i wanna tell you that i really really really like you, and that i miss you all the time when you're not around and i think about you all the time." I told her i felt the same way about her, but nothing really else came out of the conversation. I think our feelings for each other are confusing the both of us. We hung out later that night and just had a good time like we usually do when we're together. Maybe I'm just paranoid, but did she say that because she wants to string me along? I don't think she did because I know her well enough to know she wouldn't do that to me, but right now I'm in that state of mind where everything she says can be taken a million ways. Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 It seems to me kissing her would be the next step. Just kiss her the next time you see her and this will make things less confusing. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Maybe I'm just paranoid, but did she say that because she wants to string me along? dude, she's playing you like a fiddle... Link to post Share on other sites
SweetFla Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 I don't think she's playing you. . based on what you wrote, I think she has feelings for you more than just a friend, but she needs some time before jumping in due to her recent breakup. She wants to get over it before getting into it with you. . she doesn't want you to be her rebound guy. Have patience. . time will tell. Link to post Share on other sites
tryagaintoday Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 As a woman whenevr we are hurt we look for a rebound guy and that's what I think she's using u for. Woman hate to be alone that's our biggest fear being by ourselve's and it gets worst as we bet older so if she's over 27 close to thirty it's an even bigger chance. I wouldn't take a chance on messing my frienship up and if I did I would wait at least 3 to 6 months after the break-up loneliness is over with. Oh snap! I am like this too! Does it mean that I am a woman?!?! Anyway OP, yeah I think she is on the rebound. Play it cool and make sure both of you are ready before committing anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jshaw Posted October 14, 2009 Author Share Posted October 14, 2009 I was thinking about it and I don't think I'm being played. She wouldn't do that to me. I think you're right Sweet, she doesn't want me to be the rebound guy. She could have easily made me that guy, but didn't, and I've been too caught up with my feelings for her to see that. I know she cares about me a lot, it's clear from what she said to me. I just need to make it stick in my head that she does, and that it's probably the best thing right now that we're not together in that way. Someday hopefully, but not now. Link to post Share on other sites
ilikegirls Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 they dont do it unpurpose.. they dont mean to hurt you they just do Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 She isn't being malicious, but she is playing abit of a game.. Selfishly. She likes you, wants you to like her, but she isn't ready to take it to the next level.. So I say, it's an ego feed. She likes having you in her life, to be there, to hang out, but that's it. Atleast for now. Link to post Share on other sites
SweetFla Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 I know she cares about me a lot, it's clear from what she said to me. I just need to make it stick in my head that she does, and that it's probably the best thing right now that we're not together in that way. Someday hopefully, but not now. I feel for you . I'm in a similar situation myself right now; he's been clear he's not ready for a relationship just yet, and we've become really close platonic friends. If he wanted to use me / make me the rebound chick, he would've easily done it already. Same as you, "Someday hopefully, but not now." Link to post Share on other sites
Author jshaw Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 Yep exactly. It's a crappy situation to be in, probably for everyone involved, but I don't know.. I'm kind of calm right now. I know how much she cares about me, and she knows how much I care about her. After 6 years of close friendship it'd be pretty lame of me to all of a sudden start avoiding her at this point in her life, and I think just hanging out with her has made her see how important she is to me, and how important I am to her. So we'll see because whatever happens happens. Hopefully it works out between us because I know it would be pretty awesome for the both of us, but whatever does happen I'll be her friend and she'll be mine. Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 She may not be consciously leading you on, but she is leading you on. This business about liking you too much to date you is nonsense. So she'd date you if she liked you less? How stupid! I think you need to ask her directly what she wants and not soend the next several weeks and/or months playing games. Link to post Share on other sites
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