pleasebelieveme Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Ah! I'm addicted. I just cannot stop putting her name into that little search engine box in the middle of the page and seeing what comes up. Of course, anytime I ever see any little hint of something new, I get set back. I should point out that I've been in NC for 10 months. Very successfully. But, I sometimes wonder if I'm filling that "ex void" by searching for her online to no end (and, she has a pretty fair amount to look at online - and not just social networking sites, either). Anyone been through this before and successfully stopped your behavior? If so, please share your secrets! I'm driving myself crazy over here! -pbm Link to post Share on other sites
logitech Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 For me it is a case of simply doing other things. I have been blocked from my ex's FB page but I can still see her profile pic if I google her name. It never does me any good seeing it either. I basically just try not to allow myself to do it since I know it is only going to upset me. I try to fill my google searches with other things. Like Wiki article of the day or thefreedictionary article of the day. I also read up on gizmodo. Pretty much any time you are tempted just try to look up something else. Look up words in another language, travel destinations, anything else!! Since you are 10 months in I think it is important you change your ways as doing this is only stopping your healing. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Ah! I'm addicted. I just cannot stop putting her name into that little search engine box .... I should point out that I've been in NC for 10 months. Very successfully. ..... I'm driving myself crazy over here! -pbm Says it all. You have NOT been in NC for ten months. Not even for a minute, actually. You've remained stuck in an addiction for ten months, so NC has done you no good whatsoever, because you haven't stuck to it. And as you're doing it to yourself, then the only one who can stop doing it to you, - is you. So - quit. go Cold Turkey. Whenever you feel like googling her name, write something completely different, like 'colonic cancer'. Or prostate health. Or Bodybuilding. Anything but her name. And research it. Find out everything you can about something that would both interest you and distract you. And would educate you as well. Learn something new every day. And learn how to do without her. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 You could have spent that 10 months building your new life without her.. You have to stop! She's dead to you and you to her...Time to work on you! Link to post Share on other sites
FloaterShimmy Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 The secret to putting Google behind you is to use Bing. Once you've experienced the enlightenment of a decision engine, you will never search again. Link to post Share on other sites
delajoonal Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 pleasebelieveme... ok..i so get it! here is an idea..so NO cold tureky and withdrawals... pick a time everyday that you can set a side to google your X.. ONE time only, i.e., 1pm exactly on the dot, and give yourself 3 minutes tops.. if you go over the 3 minutes, then you lose your next day privilages to google the X... set something up for yourself..some guide lines..you are fully in control of what YOU DO..that IS The ONE thing ALL of us have control over..OUR SELVES. anyway..just an idea... baby steps..right Link to post Share on other sites
logitech Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Alternatively put yourself in a position where you don't have access to the internet. I know I know, these days that is hard/impossible. Go camping, bushwalking, anything away from the internet. For me it was one of the best things I did to start healing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pleasebelieveme Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 Wow! Thanks to all for the fantastic feedback. Of course, now I have to figure out if I should go cold turkey, through my computer out, or slowly stop in baby steps! :-) I've thought about it and I think I'm going to go cold turkey. Generally I'm a proponent of taking things slowly, systematically, but it seems there are some things in life - things that are so addictive that once you get a "taste " a snowball effect starts and you just have to have more - where you just have to cut out the problem altogether, completely. It's an obsession. Like OCD, in a sense. I'll try cold turkey and see if I can say strong! -pbm Link to post Share on other sites
delajoonal Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Wow! Thanks to all for the fantastic feedback. Of course, now I have to figure out if I should go cold turkey, through my computer out, or slowly stop in baby steps! :-) I've thought about it and I think I'm going to go cold turkey. Generally I'm a proponent of taking things slowly, systematically, but it seems there are some things in life - things that are so addictive that once you get a "taste " a snowball effect starts and you just have to have more - where you just have to cut out the problem altogether, completely. It's an obsession. Like OCD, in a sense. I'll try cold turkey and see if I can say strong! -pbm good luck...we are all cheering for you:bunny::rolleyes:;) Link to post Share on other sites
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