Did I just imagine everything?

[cdn]

Just FYI, it is a colposcopy and it is a two-part procedure. First, the doctor performs a visual examination of your cervix and then he/she takes a snip of the most visibly damaged tissue. This tissue is then sent for a biopsy.

 

Not all strains of HPV are associated with an increased risk of cervical cancer. If your doctor hasn't provided you with informaiton about your specific strain (which he may not be able to do until after the colposcopy), he should do so soon.

 

More info: http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/cevicalconditions/a/colposcopy.htm

[Butterfly1]

Thankyou about the spelling of the colposcopy. I knew I had mispelled it. Yes, I know they were going to take tissue out but I was told that its all one virus -- either high risk hpv or low risk hpv and i tested positive for both strains. Will they be able to tell me more?

 

Sarah12. I think thats great you wrote the letter. Now, I would wait a few days to see if you still mean exactly what you wrote. In the past I have composed emails and sent them and later on, wished I hadn't said all that I said. So, I think you should give it a few days and then read over the letter and see if you still feel the same. I would either send the email or call him depending on what reaction you are hoping to get. If you just want him to know FYI and don't want to hear or don't care if you hear back from him, then an email is fine. However sometimes people can misinterpret what is said on an email. If you want to hear what he has to say, then I would call him and let him know.

 

I know how confusing it is. Before I came back to the area I wrote my ex an email saying that i didn't understand....things were going fine and he broke up with me out of nowhere and then it just seemed that he never wanted to talk to me or see me again....I kept on asking myself WHAT HAPPENNED? How does my relationship with him change or affect what went on with his ex. It is just totally unfair.

[lost_in_chgo]

Butterfly, Your relationship with him confuses him when he is thinking about his ex. If you dated for just a few months, he may be thinking of reconciling with her.

 

As far as him figuring things out on his own, I believe you really need to do that. I've done the same thing and pushed my ex away further because she just couldn't deal with talking about things. It's very hard to stay completely away. I've had a hard time with it.

[Butterfly1]

Actually, after he broke up with me (on the voice mail) he admitted to me that he spent a lot of time with her (nothing happenned) and that he had thought about getting back together with her. He said he realized after a couple of weeks that the problems they had before were still there and does not want to reconcile and has let her know that. I really thought she was the reason why we broke up and I could understand that. Of course he was only with me for 4 months and her for 1 1/2 years and she lives on his floor in his apartment building and I lived several states away.

 

But why tell me two months later that he broke up with me because he did not think he could care about me. I didn't even bring it up. It just hurt me to see him and be able to tell that he was really over me and whatever we had before was gone and I just didn't understand.

 

Perhaps I wont send the email explaining my hurt or anger at him and bringing up the possibility of him NOT wanting to care then NOT being able to care. If its true, do you think thats something he would figure out in time??

[sarah12]

butterfly - I think you have to figure out what you want from him/this situation in order to decide what kind of email to send. Like if you never want to see him again, then tell him everything on your mind so that he knows and so that you have closure.

 

btw I sent you a private message!

[Butterfly1]

At this moment (and I am entitled to change my mind) I am not going to send him the email nor call him after my colposcopy. If he is really that concerned, he can check in with me. For now, I think I am better off just moving on and see what happens in the future. I need to take my own advice and believe that if its meant to be and if we are so right for each other, then he will eventually figure that out.

 

Could you send that private message again? I dind't open it, just "x"'d out of my screen. I thought it was some internet ad.

 

Well, I am studying for the next 30 minutes and then off to a Christmas party. I cant wait for finals to be over.

[wecancope]

Hi Butterfly1,

 

I've just recently cut off all contact with my ex, and even so I miss her like hell I'm recovering so much faster. I found that contact just adds more confusion to the mind.

 

I started off a thread of my own last week, but it wasn't a big hit.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t29105/

 

Maybe you can relate to something in my story!

 

Hope to hear from you soon.

 

P.S I think you've been giving some great advice.

[sarah12]

butterfly - are you sure about not writing the letter?

Do you want any answers from this guy or are you sure you can move on completely from this?

 

I just sent you another private message.

[Butterfly1]

I would like answers but his answers keep changing and his actions have been so inconsistent that I can only believe now that he doesn't even understand everything. I believe he truely cared about me before and I know what we had was great -- if its not there now, there is nothing I can do or say to bring it back. I feel like if I push him for an answer or confront him, I will only push him farther away.

 

I am tired of thinking about it. The bottom line is he is does not want to be with me. Maybe I was just a rebound relationship where he transferred all his feelings for her to me, maybe he is just a commitment phobe at heart and runs when things get serious, maybe now is just not the time for him or maybe he just realized that I wans't the one for him. -- As much as I would like him to say "give me time and I will come back" thats not going to happy and I just need to let go.

 

I will be in school for another 6 months. I'll probably have an occassional email exchange with him (if he starts it) but for the most part, I can't do or ask anymore from him. I can only hope that maybe down the road when situations are different I can have another chance with him....but tonight I just don't think I could put myself through that again.

 

 

How do I find these private messages? I haven't had a screen popup telling me I have one. Let me go figure this out. I should be working on a take home final thats due Monday!

[sarah12]

You go to where it says "Forum Jump" on the bottom left of the page (from any page). And if you scroll up to the top, you'll see an option for "Private messages"

 

Fair enough. I think you have realized it is time to start letting it all go. I am happy for your decision..I think you will be too.

[Butterfly1]

I just did it! Thank you. I am happy with my decision (as of today) - who knows how i will feel a few days from now. Its just been going on for almost 2 months now and I know its not getting better.

[Summi24]

I just found this site.....nice.... Well girls your not the only ones the only difference with my story is that I don't have any STD's but everything your boys said to you I have heard the same thing.... its not like I am some young girl who has a crush I have had some pretty serious relationships and I have excellent judgment towards men usually except one that I am still trying to figure out such as you too.... I was in a marriage for 7yrs and then was divorced right after that I met someone who is connected to my soul still to this day and I spent 3yrs of my life with him but we both decided that we must have been brother and sister in a past life or something we feel like home to each other but there is no romantic feelings there we just shared alot together and saved each other from alot of bad things in our lives and after we saved one another we both wanted to move on at the same time....I am only 24 yrs old I am very weary of men and I don't get hung up on them at all....But in March of 2004 I met someone that the instant we first met, the moment we shook one anothers hand we didn't seperate from one another for 9 days.....I have never done that with someone. I was set up with him by a mutal friend and I didn't know he was coming out of a 3 yr relationship and everything your boys said to you he said to me and more things no one had said to me ever not even my ex-husband and I thought that was love...ha ha! Well this one has thrown a curve ball my way and I never have found out why yet? This recent guy's ex is so crazy first of all she found out I had been staying nights with him and he was at my house constantly as well and she freaked out and text msg him she was gonna kill herself and sent her sister to talk to him at his job and he ignored it and then we always had such a great time together I mean when I looked into his eyes it was feelings I had never experienced I was in ahhhhh! but one day out of the blue I sent him a text msg late in the afternoon to see how he was doing and he sent me a text back that said "Im sorry I just can't do this anymore" and this was after about a little over a month and a half of seeing each other regulary talking everday.....so I was like F*&% the text msg and I called him. I said what r u talking about? keep in mind this is late April and we had scheduled concerts and camping trips with his family.. he had only taken two girls ever to go meet his parents one he was with for 11yrs and the other he was with for 3 yrs and then he meets me and has me go to meet his parents and not just once but twice and then we went there for Easter and so I thought man he is having me meet his family and that's usually a serious thing right? Well we had a camping trip schedule a week after we broke up and he was like yeah were not going camping anymore then I find out from his sister n law he took his ex with him I mean he was straight with me and told me he talked to his ex and her sister to get things from her house that were his and what not but he was like I wasn't intimate with anyone else while I was with you and Im like feeling bad now like I am not good enough and she is better or I just sit here and try to figure out what did I do to him what did I say where did I make the wrong turn I never changed I am who I am I am a very strong individual but he just amazed me like no one else I have ever met when he met me he couldn't keep away from me he was text me all the time I thought he was a freak at first but he wasn't he is 32 and I am 24 and neither of us drink or do drugs or anything that would altar our everyday feelings and thoughts pretty normal people so where did all of this come from? Well he has his own business and he is still putting it together and he is like I have been in relationships for the past fifteen yrs of my life and I felt like I was just jumping right into another one and he was like your to good for that we need to figure out who we are but then he goes camping with his ex....you know men and there stupid well I know her so I am comfortable with her blah blah **** stories soo now I have not seen him or spoke with him since April 26th but he touched me and made me feel like no one else ever has I think very soon I will just stop by and see if the chemistry is there the way it was the first time I ever met him just to see maybe maybe not but I am so curious I have gained back my dignity and much more I am at a place where I am like well your loss mother fu&^%$ so I think if we keep strong and realize their dumb and if they don't get it were too good for them anywayz.....but still the "Why"? is always there and I hate questions that have no answers. Men are dumb what will we do?